Still stuck
still waiting... since last April!
does anyone care?
NO, definitely not the .. argh .. nevermind!
i know you guys do. i love you too
and do i wake up at nights weeping?
YES! UNCONTROLLABLY!!
waiting for someone to console me and tell me "everything's going to be okay". oh, she can't! she's in a different part of the world.. waiting for me to get her here.
guess who acts like a total loser and a downer all the time recounting every day of the past 9 months of the name check ordeal in excruciating detail to people who could care less?
YES, THAT'D BE ME..
how many days have i missed checking my mailbox the moment i get back home in the past 9 months?
NONE! NOT ONE! WHY DON'T THEY DELIVER ON SUNDAYS TOO, DAMMIT!!
can i speed dial the USCIS 800 number and the options to check status in less than 15 seconds?
YES! SOMETIMES EVEN LESS
how many people at the other end of the USCIS phone line have humiliated me, made me feel utterly helpless and then asked "is there anything else i can help you with?" like seriously!
ENOUGH TO MAKE ME FEEL EMASCULATED! DON'T KNOW HOW MANY YEARS OF THERAPY IT WOULD TAKE TO RECOVER...
if humanity were measured in Kilograms, how much of it would you find in and around the INFO PASS OFFICES?
UMM, THAT'D BE A DEFINITE Z E R O !!!!
have people started wondering "there must definitely be something wrong with this dude or this wouldn't be happening to him?"
YES! HE ALSO HAS A BEARD! DOESN'T DRINK. DISSES THE FOX NEWS CHANNEL. EVEN HAS AN OPINION! hmmmm....
have i suddenly started believing in a higher force that's punishing me for the sins i must have surely committed?
OH YES!
do i wish i was born with the name "I Be Clean"?
YES!! OR ANY NAME THAT CLEARED
(can someone publish a list for the people filling out N-400s now - still time to change their names
what do i tell people who say "your name is oh-so-cool/unique/pretty/exotic?"
WISH YOU WERE A NAME CHECKER (or wrote the name check algorithm, based on who's complimenting)
yeah i know people have been waiting longer than me - is that any consolation?
HELL NO! GIVE US _ALL_ YEARS OF LIVES THAT WE LOST BEING TORMENTED BACK!!!
do i look skywards and let a scream out every time someone tries to make this a non-issue like happigal is doing?
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH YESSS!!
(happigal - i appreciate your attitude and positivity though. i wish i could have retained that attitude after i found out my application was current and my name's still causing issues
am i going insane?
YES!!!
and yes, i am accepting bids from hollywood producers looking to buy the rights to my life story. i guarantee a sure tear jerker! if the audience doesn't leave the theaters bawling, you get your money back!
--
you know you're in trouble when even the lawyers won't return your calls after they learn what you want help with!