Indians( Asians) in US office environment.

[assur]

Be careful of JISH

Note:U may not agree with me ,that's fine to me.I am not saying any academic theory.I will put up only what I have gone thru.
Meat:It is assumed all in this forum are of status ="gc_Screwed_up_but_may_get_oneday".So let us take my case which is Harassment visa category ( mine is H1 and wife is H4 ).Let us go back to India for a moment.IIM,IIT,XLRI goes to a class of job.Then Bajaj ,Roorkee ,RIT etc goes to another class job.and so on....All these institute have their own class and standard (more or less).They have their own alumni but organization created a environment where no one included in syllabus to teach "not to fart in office in particular way or raising/tilting ones Ass but every one got the message.
Comeback to US:Here u have to come thru some thing under H1b or variation of that class.Now IIM,IIT ,IIFart,IISmell all have to work together and under one class H1b/EAD.Now every body feels uncomfortable those who fart with those who don't fart and vice verca.You just can't make them all equal but H1b visa says all are equal and proudly claims "we are equal opportunity employer" .That means person who fart in whatever style will be treated equally.Hence relax .Let us not complain and let him enjoy in his own way by farting in public.
Most of the Amrican have brain and they will know that all Indians don't fart in Office in same style or with equal zeal .As some one next to him is not.
Whoever started this thread has a noble intention I assume.You are doing good job I will say.Start a blog under Rediff/Sulekha pure Indian site and vent there with full throttle.I will join there and do good publicity in my circle.You started ,we got the message now let us take it to more relevant forum/blog and take it out from immigration portal .Analogy: when one want to sell camery or accord they put flyer's on Indian Grocery store but buy/sell car transaction does not take place there.It is out side of Grocery shop.
Problem:Once u are on H1b and wants to preserve ur GC_process you are screwed up.U have fewer options ,corp to corp ( pimp to pimp contract not directly with client).That's it.Don't disagree with ur manager as you are contractor and will be thrown out of the building and that is called heads_down_developer and liked by manager.After some time you can boast with ur relatives my manager like me most as I am the best talented developer( read slave).I know some Indians working on same client at same job level for last 5-7 years and still claim themselves best of the best.La cream da la creme.they expect us to behave like slave and they get plenty.
Question to All:In this forum we quote what Indians have done etc etc.Some one rightly suggested if some Indian got medal that is not yours and hence don't praise urself ( Sports etc is exception ).How many of you have helped another fellow member in his career struggle in USA ? How many of you have not pulled the leg or tried at least of another Indian? How many of you have respected another programer Indian ? How many of u best of best (DBA ,Java Programer etc) wants to become manager ? Let us talk about this majority H1b class not Khurana or chandra shekhar. Do this introspection please.I myself consider another Indian as my biggest enemy and my body immune system (while blood ) reacts accordingly.You can come up with crap like "All Indians...are not same etc etc" .Believe me after that anti_Indian_vaccine
I am fine since last 1 year.

This ID (a mole) is making statements based on politics, race, religion, country, border.
It creates the environment where immigration communities disintegrate.
Please be aware

http://boards.immigrationportal.com/showthread.php?t=195262

 

[Sudh]

Oh

First cool down. Looks like you are very fustrated with everything right now. This is your first post so you must be really busy being silent reader of this site. You may have information or knowledge to answer someone's question on this foruim but you decided to critize first than helping someone. Anyway you are like all of us.
Answer To Question to All:
I agree with you 100% that I did not do anything to help him and that person became CEO/CFO on his own merit. But for me some where I feel proud when I read that news of 'that person's achievement. Some where in my heart, I also feel happy that HE Is Indian and Achieved Great Success. And me also being Indian may take inspiration from that news.
When first Human (American) landed on moon it was great achievement for human race. Neither I am American nor I am going to land on moon. But I feel happy that some one human like me went to moon where no man has gone before. I feel proud about it.
We all are putting our time to type our experience where Mr.Khote can compile this. You are correct about all H1B are equal. I think tht Mr.Khote will include your point of view as well.
We all help one way or other to other fellow human being. I have trained some fellow office staff (African American) who wanted to shift to IT. My friend MSc in Maths is teaching Security Gaurd (American) on math topics on week ends. When some one I know comes to US from India, we all take them to first shopping, explain CreditCard process, car buying,driving and help them settle here. Moneywise also some of us always contribute to Indian Redcross etc (Thanks to Tax Breaks). Point is that we all do help each other.

Being "Good Developer" has nothing to do with want to become "Manager". For good developer, he is excellent in his profession. In US they do not promote you just because you are 7-8 years developer experience and then they will make you Manager (like in Old India, one person joins as clerk and after 50 yreas he will be branch manager, just because he is senior). Mangers role requires different skill set and challanges. MANAGING IS SKILL. If I want to become manager, first I have understand difference then work on acquiring skills to become one. (Good inter personal skills, team building, task management and many more) but point is that i need to learn and prcatice new role. I am not going to be manager just because I am senior.
Reality of the situation is that if I am doing same job which I joined 5-6 years back (when I was young) and there is new youngsters who is coming and doing same job. My fustration is justified but then it is my fault of getting stuck at same job and doing same thing which I did 5-6 years before.

Align with your Manger but do not be CHAMACHA. Do not hesitate to express your views or opinions but choose right words, actions and timing.
I have work with 6-7 different managers so far. Everybody is in different company. Even I changed my clients ( I choose my client not my employer/bodyshopper, he is nice person and I know everything about his expenses, profit and etc. I do not cry about it, he is running business. we make sure that we both are in win-win game) Anyway coming back to my point, I still meet my old mangers for lunch or for beer (I just drink wine though) , for base ball game, for golf . Each meeting I learn a lot about new things in Financial Industry, Technology in different companies, office politics.
I have had arugments with my manager but next day we did go out for lunch (on office tab).

In America, getting "fired" is nothing to do with I have done something wrong feeling. Upper management decides to make changes to the business (because Wall Street or Competitor or Business demands it), if we are part of that change then we will loose job. No Boss Alignment thinkng will save you. But if we were honest and had healthy relationship with Manger most likely he/she will call you where ever he/she joins next.

All that being said, I just feel sad that you think fellow Indian working with you is your enemy. (May be you do not like competition or comparison). Just curious how does your immune system react when you stand infront of mirror?

Take It Easy. Good Luck.

Note:U may not agree with me ,that's fine to me.I am not saying any academic theory.I will put up only what I have gone thru.
Meat:It is assumed all in this forum are of status ="gc_Screwed_up_but_may_get_oneday".So let us take my case which is Harassment visa category ( mine is H1 and wife is H4 ).Let us go back to India for a moment.IIM,IIT,XLRI goes to a class of job.Then Bajaj ,Roorkee ,RIT etc goes to another class job.and so on....All these institute have their own class and standard (more or less).They have their own alumni but organization created a environment where no one included in syllabus to teach "not to fart in office in particular way or raising/tilting ones Ass but every one got the message.
Comeback to US:Here u have to come thru some thing under H1b or variation of that class.Now IIM,IIT ,IIFart,IISmell all have to work together and under one class H1b/EAD.Now every body feels uncomfortable those who fart with those who don't fart and vice verca.You just can't make them all equal but H1b visa says all are equal and proudly claims "we are equal opportunity employer" .That means person who fart in whatever style will be treated equally.Hence relax .Let us not complain and let him enjoy in his own way by farting in public.
Most of the Amrican have brain and they will know that all Indians don't fart in Office in same style or with equal zeal .As some one next to him is not.
Whoever started this thread has a noble intention I assume.You are doing good job I will say.Start a blog under Rediff/Sulekha pure Indian site and vent there with full throttle.I will join there and do good publicity in my circle.You started ,we got the message now let us take it to more relevant forum/blog and take it out from immigration portal .Analogy: when one want to sell camery or accord they put flyer's on Indian Grocery store but buy/sell car transaction does not take place there.It is out side of Grocery shop.
Problem:Once u are on H1b and wants to preserve ur GC_process you are screwed up.U have fewer options ,corp to corp ( pimp to pimp contract not directly with client).That's it.Don't disagree with ur manager as you are contractor and will be thrown out of the building and that is called heads_down_developer and liked by manager.After some time you can boast with ur relatives my manager like me most as I am the best talented developer( read slave).I know some Indians working on same client at same job level for last 5-7 years and still claim themselves best of the best.La cream da la creme.they expect us to behave like slave and they get plenty.
Question to All:In this forum we quote what Indians have done etc etc.Some one rightly suggested if some Indian got medal that is not yours and hence don't praise urself ( Sports etc is exception ).How many of you have helped another fellow member in his career struggle in USA ? How many of you have not pulled the leg or tried at least of another Indian? How many of you have respected another programer Indian ? How many of u best of best (DBA ,Java Programer etc) wants to become manager ? Let us talk about this majority H1b class not Khurana or chandra shekhar. Do this introspection please.I myself consider another Indian as my biggest enemy and my body immune system (while blood ) reacts accordingly.You can come up with crap like "All Indians...are not same etc etc" .Believe me after that anti_Indian_vaccine
I am fine since last 1 year.

 

[Indian_sux]

Take it Easy ,I have no agenda to become Mole.

Hi
First ,Mole of what ? I do visit this site and posting my views after some 60 people have already posted.That should say lot,isn't it? Think over it.I am cursing Indian but visit this site and take time to read each thread and then when can't resist ( I try my best not to post).Search forum except my previous thread u all will not find any posting.As a disclaimer at the outset I told you all may not feel my exp.Let me repeat FEEL not understand.
I am not afraid of competetion.Hence changed the Govt Client on my own will.
I have helped Indians (yes because he was Indian).One guy had come to my project where he had no idea about job.He was on bench for years before he joined my project.I understood him.I helped him financially ,given my credit card (as he was having bad credit).Become co-borrower for his car loan to reduce his intrest rate.Trained him on job,Became his cover and when he was OK (some money on his bank ac and could do job independently).He started stabing me on my back.My manger told me when I was laid off to be beware of that guy.What hurt me that not losing the job.I got another but this guy did it? that was my pain. now should I curse all Indian ? hold on then second .again I helped someone to get job thru my contacts then again and so on.Now can an American do ? may be.what I said two class.Now naturally one class who is doing the non sense will not like my coment.I can add much more Dude,but that will make this thread ugly and chawl like fight. I respect the intention of khote,hence will stop there.regarding immune system it works,it just works for me.Some Indian are not harmful and they were nice to me too.I never said all Indian.But how do detect them.They are mole not ME whoc are bent upon exposing them.But due to my immune system I am covered and will like to have that.That is the way any anti virus system works.It assume all intrusion to firewall as attack which may not be true.Folks share ur real exp not theory as every one of us has a brain just as we have two hands.In this thread itself I have also learned something (like microwave exp ) and that shows I am open to views of others .But based on my first hand exp have my own thoery.
Regarding when I look into mirror:My soul cry when I read my own post but that is true exp and sample size was not small.It does not give me sadistic pleasure in posting these bitter lesson.It hurts me much more then it hurts any of you.

I pray to god that one day my these dirty and bitter theories will be proved wrong and that day will be my happiest day in USA.
Take it easy my enemies.

First cool down. Looks like you are very fustrated with everything right now. This is your first post so you must be really busy being silent reader of this site. You may have information or knowledge to answer someone's question on this foruim but you decided to critize first than helping someone. Anyway you are like all of us.
Answer To Question to All:
I agree with you 100% that I did not do anything to help him and that person became CEO/CFO on his own merit. But for me some where I feel proud when I read that news of 'that person's achievement. Some where in my heart, I also feel happy that HE Is Indian and Achieved Great Success. And me also being Indian may take inspiration from that news.
When first Human (American) landed on moon it was great achievement for human race. Neither I am American nor I am going to land on moon. But I feel happy that some one human like me went to moon where no man has gone before. I feel proud about it.
We all are putting our time to type our experience where Mr.Khote can compile this. You are correct about all H1B are equal. I think tht Mr.Khote will include your point of view as well.
We all help one way or other to other fellow human being. I have trained some fellow office staff (African American) who wanted to shift to IT. My friend MSc in Maths is teaching Security Gaurd (American) on math topics on week ends. When some one I know comes to US from India, we all take them to first shopping, explain CreditCard process, car buying,driving and help them settle here. Moneywise also some of us always contribute to Indian Redcross etc (Thanks to Tax Breaks). Point is that we all do help each other.

Being "Good Developer" has nothing to do with want to become "Manager". For good developer, he is excellent in his profession. In US they do not promote you just because you are 7-8 years developer experience and then they will make you Manager (like in Old India, one person joins as clerk and after 50 yreas he will be branch manager, just because he is senior). Mangers role requires different skill set and challanges. MANAGING IS SKILL. If I want to become manager, first I have understand difference then work on acquiring skills to become one. (Good inter personal skills, team building, task management and many more) but point is that i need to learn and prcatice new role. I am not going to be manager just because I am senior.
Reality of the situation is that if I am doing same job which I joined 5-6 years back (when I was young) and there is new youngsters who is coming and doing same job. My fustration is justified but then it is my fault of getting stuck at same job and doing same thing which I did 5-6 years before.

Align with your Manger but do not be CHAMACHA. Do not hesitate to express your views or opinions but choose right words, actions and timing.
I have work with 6-7 different managers so far. Everybody is in different company. Even I changed my clients ( I choose my client not my employer/bodyshopper, he is nice person and I know everything about his expenses, profit and etc. I do not cry about it, he is running business. we make sure that we both are in win-win game) Anyway coming back to my point, I still meet my old mangers for lunch or for beer (I just drink wine though) , for base ball game, for golf . Each meeting I learn a lot about new things in Financial Industry, Technology in different companies, office politics.
I have had arugments with my manager but next day we did go out for lunch (on office tab).

In America, getting "fired" is nothing to do with I have done something wrong feeling. Upper management decides to make changes to the business (because Wall Street or Competitor or Business demands it), if we are part of that change then we will loose job. No Boss Alignment thinkng will save you. But if we were honest and had healthy relationship with Manger most likely he/she will call you where ever he/she joins next.

All that being said, I just feel sad that you think fellow Indian working with you is your enemy. (May be you do not like competition or comparison). Just curious how does your immune system react when you stand infront of mirror?

Take It Easy. Good Luck.

 

[Deepatv]

I read all the postings and they are very good and I felt like writing my own experience in the office. What about Americans who behave in a very ill mannered way? When I am working in my cube I see some of the senior developers and other guys coming in to my cube , totally ignoring my presence whatsoever and start talking to the guy who sits in the cube next to my cube (since its more comfortable to talk from my cube as its spacious). Apart from the disturbance, its very irritating and disgusting. Coming to heating food in the microwave, Americans do heat pork and beef which has a very strong smell, and since they are used to the smell, they don't mind it . But at the same time if we heat the food, its offensive. How far is this justified? The other day we had a food festival in our office and I saw my(American) colleague taking a plate full of food for her husband who does not work in the office. She had the generosity to invite her husband and both of them had a 'private lunch' . If we do the same thing (like taking 'a piece' of leftover birthday cake to give to ur kid) we are 'stealing'. One day I was working late (project release), I saw my boss (American) going for coffee, he saw pizza boxes in the trash and said 'oh free pizza', he went inside the dining room could not find that free pizza, searced for the pizza for some time and since he could not find free pizza, he ended up eating some free chocolates lying in the dining area. If we do the same thing,we are 'cheap' and 'desis'. How far is this justified. I do agree, we should follow certain basic common rules but there is no need to go out of way to please / mingle with fellow American colleagues .

 

[Sudh]

It Makes Sense

It makes some sense now about your previous post. If you would have share your experience before then we can understand your feeling. In fact you have very very unique experience here to share with all of us (specially for Mr.Khote). Thank you for sharing it. I am confident that you will also feel better after writing these two posts atleast you helped someone to not to lower their own gaurd or to help with in some limit. Someone who may read it will think twice about his help and other person's credibility.
Americans do not help friend or relative with money matters. That is how PayDay Loans, Credit Loans are thrieving in this country. When I send $500 to one Indian Student to pay her fees (she was girl friend of my wife's cousin), her boss was amazed and warned me not to do that. So far I have not received that moey back. But since it is from my spouse's relative I can not say much about it. But now I do not give any money to students but I tell them how they can take student's loan from bank or other companies.
There are so many stories that when some of Indians started going back. They bought car with loan but left car in Airport Parking lot. Used credit cards to Max before going to India. Took computer loan and took laptop with them. Never paid a dime to bank. Finally Desi Credit Union started asking for H1B papers for any new applicant. Indians did cheat in Corporate America. And eventually looser was other fellow H1B Applicant who now has to go through tougher application process.

What your friend did to you was horrible thing to do. I do feel your pain. But be careful same thing can happen to fellow non-indian worker also. Your anger is justified but sharing will lighten it otherwise it will on burining deep inside.

As one has said, Love your Enemy
It is good that you decided to share your experience with your enemies.
Good Luck.

Hi
First ,Mole of what ? I do visit this site and posting my views after some 60 people have already posted.That should say lot,isn't it? Think over it.I am cursing Indian but visit this site and take time to read each thread and then when can't resist ( I try my best not to post).Search forum except my previous thread u all will not find any posting.As a disclaimer at the outset I told you all may not feel my exp.Let me repeat FEEL not understand.
I am not afraid of competetion.Hence changed the Govt Client on my own will.
I have helped Indians (yes because he was Indian).One guy had come to my project where he had no idea about job.He was on bench for years before he joined my project.I understood him.I helped him financially ,given my credit card (as he was having bad credit).Become co-borrower for his car loan to reduce his intrest rate.Trained him on job,Became his cover and when he was OK (some money on his bank ac and could do job independently).He started stabing me on my back.My manger told me when I was laid off to be beware of that guy.What hurt me that not losing the job.I got another but this guy did it? that was my pain. now should I curse all Indian ? hold on then second .again I helped someone to get job thru my contacts then again and so on.Now can an American do ? may be.what I said two class.Now naturally one class who is doing the non sense will not like my coment.I can add much more Dude,but that will make this thread ugly and chawl like fight. I respect the intention of khote,hence will stop there.regarding immune system it works,it just works for me.Some Indian are not harmful and they were nice to me too.I never said all Indian.But how do detect them.They are mole not ME whoc are bent upon exposing them.But due to my immune system I am covered and will like to have that.That is the way any anti virus system works.It assume all intrusion to firewall as attack which may not be true.Folks share ur real exp not theory as every one of us has a brain just as we have two hands.In this thread itself I have also learned something (like microwave exp ) and that shows I am open to views of others .But based on my first hand exp have my own thoery.
Regarding when I look into mirror:My soul cry when I read my own post but that is true exp and sample size was not small.It does not give me sadistic pleasure in posting these bitter lesson.It hurts me much more then it hurts any of you.

I pray to god that one day my these dirty and bitter theories will be proved wrong and that day will be my happiest day in USA.
Take it easy my enemies.

 

[Indian_sux]

Thankx for understanding my pain

Hi Sudh
You are the first person who took my post in positive spirit.I know as far as these traits are concerned they are not of Indian.Definately not ,it's humane traits of greed (Wall Street).
In my office in project all were Indian.Can't explain u how they used to fight in office shouting ,yelling and abusing all the time (not an american trait).One
time one of them abused saying "Gandu" .victim complained to American lady boss (Director) saying that he said me Gandu in Hindi and which means "A**hole" .Former denied and said Gandu is used in Hindi as an article not as noun.I was called as Hindi translator by HR. Now both were looking at me what I will say.Had I said NOUN,he would have got fired.If I said article then .....I said "since I am not from that part of India where these folks belongs to , can not really say what exactly it means but it is definately not as*hole".The job was saved.I used to feel suffocated there.Why they were fighting ? For team lead position.
They used to take interview.I can only tell u that they were not fair.They used to almost fight with potential candidate.Here I feel and still believe strongly in that philosphy.That we should help the Jr to make entry into profession.I am working on same platform for last 5 years,If I ask him all the questions which I learned in 5 years ,how some Jr will make his entry into this career ? that was my question to any technocrat or for that matter any pro.latter I was given the task of selecting new candidates,I tested their potential and brought them onboard.I prepared a fresher's manual and given to each new candidates.That was cheat sheet.All the Indian guys made all noise saying when they have claimed in resume why u are giving them manual and that too specially prepared for them? why?.Just with very very little help from me they picked up in just one month.They (Indian ) started passing sarcasting comments on me as Prof .That was not with respect but as sarcasm.I am trying to spread the message that help Jr in his career advancement if you can.If not that is also fine but for god sake don't create hurdle for them.As far as I am concerned,yes initially used to get frustreted with silly questions as they had no regard for my long exp.But latter on changed myself saying whats wrong.Let them ask what they want? I may not be selected in 100% case.But can say for sure there is a pattern in question based on Indian or Non Indian.
Hope as job market improves,people will start feeling more secured of their job and then they may behave differently.

It makes some sense now about your previous post. If you would have share your experience before then we can understand your feeling. In fact you have very very unique experience here to share with all of us (specially for Mr.Khote). Thank you for sharing it. I am confident that you will also feel better after writing these two posts atleast you helped someone to not to lower their own gaurd or to help with in some limit. Someone who may read it will think twice about his help and other person's credibility.
Americans do not help friend or relative with money matters. That is how PayDay Loans, Credit Loans are thrieving in this country. When I send $500 to one Indian Student to pay her fees (she was girl friend of my wife's cousin), her boss was amazed and warned me not to do that. So far I have not received that moey back. But since it is from my spouse's relative I can not say much about it. But now I do not give any money to students but I tell them how they can take student's loan from bank or other companies.
There are so many stories that when some of Indians started going back. They bought car with loan but left car in Airport Parking lot. Used credit cards to Max before going to India. Took computer loan and took laptop with them. Never paid a dime to bank. Finally Desi Credit Union started asking for H1B papers for any new applicant. Indians did cheat in Corporate America. And eventually looser was other fellow H1B Applicant who now has to go through tougher application process.

What your friend did to you was horrible thing to do. I do feel your pain. But be careful same thing can happen to fellow non-indian worker also. Your anger is justified but sharing will lighten it otherwise it will on burining deep inside.

As one has said, Love your Enemy
It is good that you decided to share your experience with your enemies.
Good Luck.

 

[waitingnwaiting]

I read all the postings and they are very good and I felt like writing my own experience in the office. What about Americans who behave in a very ill mannered way? When I am working in my cube I see some of the senior developers and other guys coming in to my cube , totally ignoring my presence whatsoever and start talking to the guy who sits in the cube next to my cube (since its more comfortable to talk from my cube as its spacious). Apart from the disturbance, its very irritating and disgusting. Coming to heating food in the microwave, Americans do heat pork and beef which has a very strong smell, and since they are used to the smell, they don't mind it . But at the same time if we heat the food, its offensive. How far is this justified? The other day we had a food festival in our office and I saw my(American) colleague taking a plate full of food for her husband who does not work in the office. She had the generosity to invite her husband and both of them had a 'private lunch' . If we do the same thing (like taking 'a piece' of leftover birthday cake to give to ur kid) we are 'stealing'. One day I was working late (project release), I saw my boss (American) going for coffee, he saw pizza boxes in the trash and said 'oh free pizza', he went inside the dining room could not find that free pizza, searced for the pizza for some time and since he could not find free pizza, he ended up eating some free chocolates lying in the dining area. If we do the same thing,we are 'cheap' and 'desis'. How far is this justified. I do agree, we should follow certain basic common rules but there is no need to go out of way to please / mingle with fellow American colleagues .

Deepatv,

You hit on a very important point. Something we never talked about in this thread until you mentioned it.

After living in US for 10 years, i have noticed too many of such episodes, where americans sometimes act very cheap and a lot of the times act arrogant.

Others please do post your experiences of bad american behaviour. This will bring a broader perspective to this thread.

 

[booz]

common sense

Be courteous and hold the door open for the person behind you.

If you sneeze and someone says bless you , say thank you and vice versa.

wash your hands with soap and dry them before you shake ur hands after going to restroom, specially if you have gone in with colleagues.

cover your face when you sneeze and wipe with a paper towel.

use deo and go to a dentist for gods sake, our sweat and mouth are the stinkiest.

pick your nose in the restroom only and wash hands later.

dont try to prove ur smartness by taking shortcuts.

dont wear the same clothes in the week.

if you don't understand something, ask them again.

smile ,but don't start laughing without reason.

booz

 

[Akbari]

And Do Not Be Overtly Cautious About Being Desi !!!

Be courteous and hold the door open for the person behind you.

If you sneeze and someone says bless you , say thank you and vice versa.

wash your hands with soap and dry them before you shake ur hands after going to restroom, specially if you have gone in with colleagues.

cover your face when you sneeze and wipe with a paper towel.

use deo and go to a dentist for gods sake, our sweat and mouth are the stinkiest.

pick your nose in the restroom only and wash hands later.

dont try to prove ur smartness by taking shortcuts.

dont wear the same clothes in the week.

if you don't understand something, ask them again.

smile ,but don't start laughing without reason.

booz

 

[Kishore_l]

I read all the postings and they are very good and I felt like writing my own experience in the office. What about Americans who behave in a very ill mannered way? When I am working in my cube I see some of the senior developers and other guys coming in to my cube , totally ignoring my presence whatsoever and start talking to the guy who sits in the cube next to my cube (since its more comfortable to talk from my cube as its spacious). Apart from the disturbance, its very irritating and disgusting. Coming to heating food in the microwave, Americans do heat pork and beef which has a very strong smell, and since they are used to the smell, they don't mind it . But at the same time if we heat the food, its offensive. How far is this justified? The other day we had a food festival in our office and I saw my(American) colleague taking a plate full of food for her husband who does not work in the office. She had the generosity to invite her husband and both of them had a 'private lunch' . If we do the same thing (like taking 'a piece' of leftover birthday cake to give to ur kid) we are 'stealing'. One day I was working late (project release), I saw my boss (American) going for coffee, he saw pizza boxes in the trash and said 'oh free pizza', he went inside the dining room could not find that free pizza, searced for the pizza for some time and since he could not find free pizza, he ended up eating some free chocolates lying in the dining area. If we do the same thing,we are 'cheap' and 'desis'. How far is this justified. I do agree, we should follow certain basic common rules but there is no need to go out of way to please / mingle with fellow American colleagues .

I agree with you. AS UN mentioned, any human will go after "Free" anything. But there is a limit. It doesn't matter which ethinicty does, its disgusting. Just like you, who is passing a comment in the public forum about that "American" person who took plate full of food for her husband, b'cos its bothering you.

But entire ethinicty are not judged by an individual, but we're. If you do the samething, others are judging you and your country. As I had first hand experience, when many (not one) people (including Asians & Whites) were disgusted by their avtivities. If there is leftover, if you feel like taking it....just take quietly at the end of the day and only what you need and leave the rest. Just don't empty the whole thing when others are also looking forward to take a bite.

"Stealing", comes into picture if you take anything which is not intended for the whole public or not for your private use (like taking it to your home). Don't justify that, you are taking your part home. Many things are either use it or leave it. If you have been to any choclate factory, they will let you eat whatever you want but you are not allowed to take home. Is'nt the same thing apply to buffet lunch?. does it make sense?

Also, keep in mind WE're here in their Country......They have not migrated to our country. Please keep in mind that, I have no special interest in American or think any inferior to them. All I am saying is, YOU and YOUR COUNTRY IS BEING JUDGED BASED ON YOUR CHEAP ACTIVITIES.So be courteous to other fellow humans (any ethinicity), respect others and earn your respect.

 

[Kishore_l]

Also, my other thoughts are don't create any groups (atleast obvious) in your work environment. I have a good friend, who happens to be a manager for a very big consulting company, who has a team of 48 personnel reporting to him. There was a stituation when he is in need of a person, he didn't hire his own wife, though she is well qualified and looking for a project. THIS IS UNETHICAL. I have also known (an Indian & an American) brought their spouse/family members on board, which everyone feels disgusting. Just because, they don't tell you in your presence, it doesn't change the fact that you are degrading yourself.

Also, you can't justify your disgusting activities, by quoting that an american also does that. An american doing a "cheap act" is still a "Cheap Act". It doesn't make what you do is right. Lets just correct our mistakes and Earn respect for ourselves and our country.

 

[Kishore_l]

I personally think, whatever booz mentioned are basic manners. It doesn't do anything specifically with DESI and I don't think this posting these protray DESI's to be over cautious...........

 

[Indian_sux]

100% correct

I fully agree with you and will add more to it . by same logic even all other desis doing cheap act is still a "Cheap Act".It doesn't make what you do is right.I feel all of us know these things very well just wants to pretent that it's OK and no body is watching me.this same guy spend like Arab sulatan when reach India.Let me share one event in my office.In my office some insurance agent put up a board get free gifts for listening 15 minutes.So many people gone individually ,one to one meeting.After explaining some life insurance package they ask to buy policy.u make excuse and they will counter so on and on.Then you choose a gift (max value was 5 dollar e.g Umbrella,pen ,torch tec).Every desi gone,not bought a single policy.not a single.American also gone but 90 % of them bought insurance.But it started a good pep talk about Indian.Legally there was nothing wrong.But all (100%) just gone for free made all of us not-nice.When I gone and took the policy then this guy (agent )spilled the bean and told me no Indian bought the policy etc etc.When I talked with few desis back in Office,all said in Unison why he put up ad saying get gift by just litening 15 Minutes.We listened his boring proposal and desrve a 5 dollar gift and asked is it mandatory to get policy?
what should I say now ,you all can draw ur own conclusion.









Also, you can't justify your disgusting activities, by quoting that an american also does that. An american doing a "cheap act" is still a "Cheap Act". It doesn't make what you do is right. Lets just correct our mistakes and Earn respect for ourselves and our country.[/QUOTE]

 

[Akbari]

Sorry Indian_sux.. We will change ourselves in the next Avatar. Ab Khamosh Ho Ja!

I fully agree with you and will add more to it . by same logic even all other desis doing cheap act is still a "Cheap Act".It doesn't make what you do is right.I feel all of us know these things very well just wants to pretent that it's OK and no body is watching me.this same guy spend like Arab sulatan when reach India.Let me share one event in my office.In my office some insurance agent put up a board get free gifts for listening 15 minutes.So many people gone individually ,one to one meeting.After explaining some life insurance package they ask to buy policy.u make excuse and they will counter so on and on.Then you choose a gift (max value was 5 dollar e.g Umbrella,pen ,torch tec).Every desi gone,not bought a single policy.not a single.American also gone but 90 % of them bought insurance.But it started a good pep talk about Indian.Legally there was nothing wrong.But all (100%) just gone for free made all of us not-nice.When I gone and took the policy then this guy (agent )spilled the bean and told me no Indian bought the policy etc etc.When I talked with few desis back in Office,all said in Unison why he put up ad saying get gift by just litening 15 Minutes.We listened his boring proposal and desrve a 5 dollar gift and asked is it mandatory to get policy?
what should I say now ,you all can draw ur own conclusion.









Also, you can't justify your disgusting activities, by quoting that an american also does that. An american doing a "cheap act" is still a "Cheap Act". It doesn't make what you do is right. Lets just correct our mistakes and Earn respect for ourselves and our country.

[/QUOTE]

 

[Indian_sux]

Use word I not WE AKBARI as you have not got mandate

AKBARI
Please use "I" not "WE".Do u understand the difference between I and We.The chosen/elected or appointed head use the word we because he has been asked to use word WE.OKay and please don't change in next Awtar for me change for yourself.I don't know when I post my real experience why "Bahut logon ke ***** kyo jalne suru ho jate hai".Yes I am targeting a class not all Indian .Naturally this class ke jalne suru ho jate hai.Pahle bolo ki hum wo chor hai,fir jo bologe ,sunenge.
Thanks
Indian_sux

[/QUOTE]

 

[michael_holding]

Disclaimer: From my personal experience at my work place...may not apply to all.

1) Talk slowly and clearly.
---- that is the best...all of us from india talk fast...that comes from our language. we need to slow down.. makes sense.

2) Don't defend our culture (too much) by discussing it when the topic comes up. The more passionately you defend the more they will misunderstand. Correct them briefly but don't think you can totally change their mindset. They will understand who we are by our actions or inactions and our work should speak for itself. Stereotypes are almost impossible to erase (and I just proved myself with this statement). And remember, they may not always be wrong.

--- do not try to bring the topic of culture on your own. "we do this in a certain way" "we are better in this and that" that might make things go ugly if the other person starts questioning about some bad things in india.
totally agree.

3) Don't work overtime without compensation and don't try to over-impress.
--- this should be on the alltime TOP dos and don'ts...

4) Assert yourself. It is an asset not a liability.
-- true.

5) Be punctual, shave and get regular haircuts!!!

--- again most of educated souls from india do this...

6) Integrate and learn the culture and politics of this country. Understand the pop culture. Lunch with them. Learn their sense of humor.

--- if you can and like doing it. fine. but do not bend backwards to please americans...who cares.

7) In Rome, do as Romans do. There is no harm in behaving like one of "them".

--- not necessarily. there are certain CIVIC and social things that you can follow. rest of it is bull crap anyway.

8) Also, conversly, don't forget where you come from as you will never truly integrate by losing your own identity. Can't escape or erase your past and you should never be ashamed to.

----- that is the KEY. BE PROUD TO BE <who you are>. no need to escape or erase because you are from india.

while i agree with some of the things that are being said with regards to PERSONAL HYGIENE, like wearing clean clothes, shaving, getting a good hair cut. the biggest thing is bad breadth (i have seen some stinky breadth in americans too..its not just indians).

the things about learning "their" culture...i do not agree. i am speaking for indians only, if you like NBA and NFL then learn the rules and watch it...for your sake. for god sakes do not waste your time watching NBA or NFL because it might make a good conversation with your american colleagues...
SCREW THAT...who cares...all you need is a working relationship. don't do it you are not going to DATE an american.


"6) Integrate and learn the culture and politics of this country. Understand the pop culture. Lunch with them. Learn their sense of humor."

this is the type of thing you do not do. for someone who is going to be here for a short while say 3-6 yrs and who is not going to vote in this country. no real need to waste your time on politics (leave alone american politics) if you like it...then do it. just be what you are. we do not have to go out of our way to make an american comfortable. first of all they do not care.
why do you???? "learn their sense of humour"...screw this $*it. i am happy with my own sense of humour. this is the typical mentality that is seen among some/most desis...try to please Ghoras....

My biggest thing is this.

STOP TRYING TO TALK LIKE AN AMERICAN. LEAVE THAT FAKE FIRANGI ACCENT. FOR CHRIST SAKES. IT SUCKS WHEN DESIS DO THAT. IF YOU ARE BORN AN BROUGHT UP HERE,THEN IT COMES TO YOU NATURALLY. OTHER THAN SPEAK ENGLISH SLOWLY,CLEARLY AND STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF.

 

[Akbari]

Ok Ok...

I will change in this Avtar only. Because I do not believe in another avatar.

Just letting you know that nothing of my ***** started "jalna". I was just trying to calm you down. Nothing else.

Simple thing is.. In Rome.. do as Roman ...

Try your best to change if the work environment demands it or if you find khatra to image. (yours and Indian people)

Change is good...

AKBARI
Please use "I" not "WE".Do u understand the difference between I and We.The chosen/elected or appointed head use the word we because he has been asked to use word WE.OKay and please don't change in next Awtar for me change for yourself.I don't know when I post my real experience why "Bahut logon ke ***** kyo jalne suru ho jate hai".Yes I am targeting a class not all Indian .Naturally this class ke jalne suru ho jate hai.Pahle bolo ki hum wo chor hai,fir jo bologe ,sunenge.
Thanks
Indian_sux

[/QUOTE]

 

[StillAlive]

STOP TRYING TO TALK LIKE AN AMERICAN. LEAVE THAT FAKE FIRANGI ACCENT. FOR CHRIST SAKES. IT SUCKS WHEN DESIS DO THAT. IF YOU ARE BORN AN BROUGHT UP HERE,THEN IT COMES TO YOU NATURALLY. OTHER THAN SPEAK ENGLISH SLOWLY,CLEARLY AND STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF.

This is the best, I like it.

I said the same in my earlier post.
Be good to yourself and others, don't have to be behaving actor for whole US life.

 

[blessed_by_INS]

Let us move on AKBARI

I personally convinced myself that nobody is going to change based on my advice .When I was new in US ,in every desi party we (myself was more forceful) used to argue lot (the way we are doing in this thread).It used to go ugly and our wives used to get embrassed.But after several session of desi argument I conviced myself that "Shut up (to me)".All are matured and have written their own bible. .But still some time I spit venom as "old habit die hard.

I will change in this Avtar only. Because I do not believe in another avatar.

Just letting you know that nothing of my ***** started "jalna". I was just trying to calm you down. Nothing else.

Simple thing is.. In Rome.. do as Roman ...

Try your best to change if the work environment demands it or if you find khatra to image. (yours and Indian people)

Change is good...

[/QUOTE]

 

[waitingnwaiting]

gb04 and Michael_holding,

gb04 ,
You have posted some of the most important things Indians need to do in USA.

Michael_holding,
You have made the perfect corrections to gb04's points, especially about not losing one's genuine-ness.


All in all, very good observations from the two of you.