Interview questions - getting personal

J

jasmine7103

Registered Users (C)
My husband and I have been together for over 7 years, been living together most of those and been married almost 2 years. We were discussing about the things the officer might ask on the interview. As a typical male :p he doesn't remember sentimental things, such as anniversaries, gifts we exchanged, our dates etc. I am in charge of alot of things in the house - bills, where things are, contracts, etc. If the officer asked him 'what did you give your wife last xmas? or what is in the first drawer in the kitchen?" His answer would most likely be 'don't remember'. We decided that we should just be honest and say we don't remember if we don't.

There might be a slight problem. It's kind of personal but HE SNORES like hxxl. So he sleeps in the master's bedroom, and I made one of the spare rooms more comfy for me so that I can have a good night sleep! Our families and friends know that we don't sleep in the same bed. If this came up in the interview, do you think we should the them the truth? For old-fashion people, this might sounds odd and suspicious. I've read in the recent news that more and more couples sleep in separate beds for good night sleep. My parents did not sleep in the same bed either for the same reason. I don't see anything wrong with it, but the officer might.

What do you think?
 
I think that it is more important that your answers match rather than the answers falling into some predefined notion that the officer might have about what is right or wrong.

USCIS has a lot of ways to ensure that the marriage is genuine by asking questions that only a genuinely married couple staying together can answer. This could be questions about vacations, places visisted, setting in the house, relatives or just about anything else.

Having said that, the issue of marriage consummation is bound to come up.
As long as you can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are genuinely married through all the other types of questions, I don't think it should matter if you sleep in separate beds.

Good luck with your application !
 
A lot of couples do sleep in separate beds, for several reasons.
As long as your married is for real (after 7 years, i believe it is) you shoudl be ok
 
last name

PraetorianXI said:
Take a look at this document, it will help you a lot! http://www.immigrationportal.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=13973&d=1141527377
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Thank you for this link!

In this book it mentions about last name. It says you should use husband's last name or the officer would think it's a fraud. I did not change my last name simply because i didn't want to! We've agreed that if our child is a girl, she gets to keep my last name and if it's a boy, he'd take his last name. It's really for my father who is very proud of his name - it's also cultural. It took years for my father to approve my marriage with a foreigner and keeping his last name was one thing I wanted to do for him. It's too late to change it now. I guess I will just be honest about it too.
 
You are not legally obligated to take your husband's last name, i did not and I am married for real.
Most of the time, people dont do it to avoid hassels
 
why don't you and husband, start now to agree on same "yes or no" answer for the interview, you really would be better off convincing the officer right away, than have him call you back for second interview, but if you are already pregnant, that is a strong evidence, then you don't have to worry about not sleeping in the same room and bed. goodluck.
 
PraetorianXI said:
Take a look at this document, it will help you a lot! http://www.immigrationportal.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=13973&d=1141527377
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Hi:

As always, I shall point out that some of those questions constitute clear invasion of privacy. The officer is allowed to ask whether the marriage was consummated. When we last had sex or what birth control we use is none of his business. We never experienced such an interview, but would have gladly stated that those questions are private and we refuse to answer. For me, it is a matter of principle. Others may choose to just answer to get it over with.

Note however that if you are denied for refusing to answer questions such as those outlined above, the decision will be reversible error. The question is ultimately how much of your civil liberties you are willing to sacrifice to ensure a speedy immigration process.
 
pianoplayer said:
Hi:

As always, I shall point out that some of those questions constitute clear invasion of privacy. The officer is allowed to ask whether the marriage was consummated. When we last had sex or what birth control we use is none of his business. We never experienced such an interview, but would have gladly stated that those questions are private and we refuse to answer. For me, it is a matter of principle. Others may choose to just answer to get it over with.

Note however that if you are denied for refusing to answer questions such as those outlined above, the decision will be reversible error. The question is ultimately how much of your civil liberties you are willing to sacrifice to ensure a speedy immigration process.
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I agree with you, I was not asked any question that I was uncomfortable answering or that I considered an invasion of property. I like that "book/guide" because it gives you an idea of what the interview will be like. But I have only heard 1 case in the several months I have been here where the interviewer asked a "sex" related question.

Then again, better to be safe than sorry, get your act together and have your husband learn what color is your microwave! :D
 
PraetorianXI said:
I agree with you, I was not asked any question that I was uncomfortable answering or that I considered an invasion of property. I like that "book/guide" because it gives you an idea of what the interview will be like. But I have only heard 1 case in the several months I have been here where the interviewer asked a "sex" related question.

Then again, better to be safe than sorry, get your act together and have your husband learn what color is your microwave! :D
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Hi:

Yes, I agree - it is a good guide in general. I guess we were lucky, because we didn't have questions like that at all - 5-10 min. conversation more like it. I was just thinking - I don't know the color of my microwave, current bedsheets, or the underwear I'm wearing. I just checked all three! (lol)
 
pianoplayer said:
Hi:

Yes, I agree - it is a good guide in general. I guess we were lucky, because we didn't have questions like that at all - 5-10 min. conversation more like it. I was just thinking - I don't know the color of my microwave, current bedsheets, or the underwear I'm wearing. I just checked all three! (lol)
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Hahaha! :rolleyes: you must always know the color of those! you never know when that info may come in handy ;)
 
USCIS has to be very careful about asking sexual questions. As far as I know they can ask about methods of birth control and, maybe,when was the last time, but they cannot ask how often you do it, in what positions, where, etc.
 
To the Original Poster

Hi!

I just wanted to let you know that I honestly thought it was weird that you don't sleep on the same bed or that you did not take your husband's last name. I don't think your marriage is a fraud, obviously because you have been together for so long, I just wanted to give you an honest first impression after reading your post, so just in case, do prepare yourself for an officer who might feel the way I did too...but hopefully, he/she won't even mind.

My interview with my husband is tomorrow morning! We are such late-episode crammers! We honestly told ourselves that we will prepare for this interview but now it's the night before and we're just taking it easy. We will probably be panicking tomorrow morning, I just hope we don't forget anything coz we always do forget stuff whenever we go out :(
 
Bella Blues said:
Hi!

I just wanted to let you know that I honestly thought it was weird that you don't sleep on the same bed or that you did not take your husband's last name. I don't think your marriage is a fraud, obviously because you have been together for so long, I just wanted to give you an honest first impression after reading your post, so just in case, do prepare yourself for an officer who might feel the way I did too...but hopefully, he/she won't even mind.
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My case is not thru marriage; but my husband and I have been together for 4 years; I do not carry his last name and sometimes due to him waking up earlier we do not sleep on the same bed. It is not like is not seen. I know another couple that are married for real and they dont sleep on the same bed because he has back problems and snores really bad.
 
I was talking to my husband about this last night. I almost thought about sleeping in the same bed just for this reason! Then I thought No way I NEED MY SLEEP!! If the officer want to grill us and ask questions, I feel pretty comfortable. Hopefully she/he will ask why and I get to explain the reasons.
 
jasmine7103 said:
I was talking to my husband about this last night. I almost thought about sleeping in the same bed just for this reason! Then I thought No way I NEED MY SLEEP!! If the officer want to grill us and ask questions, I feel pretty comfortable. Hopefully she/he will ask why and I get to explain the reasons.
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Hi:

You will be fine. Tell the truth as it is. Relationships, and habits incidental to them, cannot be reduced to a cookie-cutter formula. Besides, if the officer rejects you based on that (which almost certainly will not happen), it will be great grounds for reversible error.

Good luck.
 
As far as I know, USCIS/DOS can only ask if the marriage has been consumated. They are not supposed to ask beyond that on this subject matter. Having said that, this will not stop an interviewing officer from crossing this boundary.
 
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