For All 485 Waiters

Consolidation Of Hindi Jokes: Credits To Their Contributors

COMPILATION OF HINDI USCIS JOKES: CREDITS TO THEIR CONTRIBUTORS

Circuit:- Bhai, Yeah I-485 Kya Hota Hai?
Munnabhai:- I 485 Bole To Kya Flight Number Hota Hai
I Matlab India Ko 485 Matlab Forever Bye...


Circuit:- Bhai, Yeah Bidu Log Ne Apun Ka Case Texas Kyo Bheja
Munnabhai:- Woh Kya Hai Na, Hum Bhai Log Ne Taxes Nahi Bhare Na Isliye Texas Bheja

Circuit:- Bhai, Yeah Infopass Kya Hota Hai
Munnabhai:- Abe Lallu, Itna Nahi Pata, Info Ka Matlab Hai Information, Pass Ka Matlab Hai Dena
Jinke Ghar Me Internet Nahi Hota Woh Jate Hai Bole To Government Building Me Jaha Unko Unke Case Ka Information Diya Jata Hai..
Usko Bolte Hai Infopass

Circuit:- Bhai, Yeah Tsc Kya Hota Hai
Munnabhai:- Tsc Bole To Tired And Sick Of Calling


Circuit:- Bhai Yeah Fingerprint Phirse Kyo Deneka
Munnabhai:- Woh Pata Karne Ke Liye Ki Teri Finger Kitni Ghis Gayi Hai Goli Chalate 2 Sal Mein

Circuit:- Bhai Yeah 140 Kya Hota Hai??



Circuit:- Bhai Aj Apun Ko Mujik Sunneka Man Hua Hai
Sirf 10 Minute

Munnabhai: Are 10 Minute Kya 1 Ghante Tak Sun

Number Hai

1800 375 5283
Uske Bad Mein 1-2-2-6-1 Daba
Phir Tera Kaidi Number Daal
Phir 1 Daba
Phir 3 Daba
Aur Phir 4 Daba

Koi Chamiya Ka Awaj Sunai De To Usko Puchna
"mere Ko Ba Izzat Bali Kab Karne Wale Ho?

Nahi To Gana Sun, Aur Suna Kar...


Circuit:- Bhai, yeah name check kya hota hai bhai

munnabhai:- abe woh pata karne ke liye ki tera naam kitna roshan hai.


circuit:- woh to thik hai bhai, lekin name check se farak kya padta hai

munnabhai:- simple funda hai yaar, koi sarkari collector ko apne dushman to patkana ho, ya to phir koi neta ko dusre neta ko, to bahar jane ki kya jarurat, apni office mein se hi tere jaise naam roshan karne vale milenge jinki file atkake rakhenge, usko bolte hai namecheck


Circuit:- Bhai, yeah LUD kya hota hai?
Munnabhai:- LUD bole to "Latest Underworld Dada"


Circuit:- Bhai Woh Mujik ke bad woh chamiya jo phone leti hai, woh itni battamizi se kyo bate karti hai?
Munnabhai:- Kyoki sale unke pati suspended police officer hote hai..


Circuit:- Bhai Yeah Advance Parole kya hota hai
Munnabhai:- Abe tune ajay devgan ka movie "Apharan" dekha kya. Bihar mein jab koi neta ya to koi pantar jail ki 4 diwari mein hota hai aur uske pas chabhi hoti hai woh jab chahe bahar ja sakta hai aur wapas aa sakta hai"
usi tarah jab tak tu ba izzat bali nahi ho jata, tere ko idhar ki government yeah chabi deti hai, usi chabi ka nam "advance parole"


Circuit:- Bhai yeah NSC kya hota hai

Munnabhai:- NSC bole to bad mein batata hu


Circuit:- Bhai yeah NSC kya hota hai

Munnabhai:- NSC bole to No Service to Customers

Bhai: Yeh GC lena jaruri hai kya (before he enters library)

Circuit: Bhai, apan ek kam karte hai na, apan canada wenada chalte hai na..udhar woh log bhardol mein bat rahe hai ..jo chahiye woh card..

(circuit says we will go to other radio station where she plays srk songs)

(bhardol is for whole lot..this is very bombaiya)

Then Munnabhai becomes nervous and asks circuit

Munnabhai:- To abe circuit, sala idhar hi kyo nahi milta yeah card

Circuit:- Milta tha bhai Milta tha card, lekin kya hai na, woh bush betha hai na apan idhar ka "Chacha Nehru" uski beti ko card khelne ka bahut shokh hai, to woh khelti rehti hai

Bhai: ae circuit, mere ko barbar USCIS commissionar dikhta hai aur bolta hai le munna tuje mein GC deta hu..

Circuit and Bhai at dr's place: This is hallucination, tere baju mein woh chinese betha tha usko nahin dikha, mexican ko nahin dikha to tere ko kaise dikha

Circuit:: ae teri hallucination ki to, bhai ne bola dikha to dikha

Dr: Don't increase his hallucination....its all hallucination
Munnabhai
Abhi Abhi Akhbar padha to pata chala ki USCIS Director ko dikh raha hai ki Usko Log Phul Pe Phul Phul Pe Phul bheje ja rahe hai...


aur ab to yeh Prakash khatri ko bhi dikhne laga hai


Circuit: bhai, ye security check ka locha kya hae?

Munnabhai: abe, itna pata nahi, sexcure check bole tho, apun ka subject hae rae,tere ko check kar kae bata ta hun ke tu male hae ya female

Circuit: bhai,vo check nahi, secuurity check

Munnabhai: abe, iisa bolna, ek punction ko gaya tha, apun ko ek gaurd ne pakda, aur check keeya, bola, bhaisab ap kaepas AK-47 hae, maynae bola, to kya huva, AK-47 ootaya usko voodadheeya, sale ye security wala itna check kar kae tung keeya rae.

Circuit: bhai, ye USCIS hota kya hae?

Munnabhai: simple hae re circuit, bolae tho unlimited security checks for Indian software engineers

Munnabhai
Abhi Abhi Akhbar padha to pata chala ki USCIS Director ko dikh raha hai ki Usko Log Phul Pe Phul Phul Pe Phul bheje ja rahe hai...


aur ab to yeh Prakash khatri ko bhi dikhne laga hai

Circuit: bhai, ye security check ka locha kya hae?

Munnabhai: abe, itna pata nahi, sexcure check bole tho, apun ka subject hae rae,tere ko check kar kae bata ta hun ke tu male hae ya female

Circuit: bhai,vo check nahi, secuurity check

Munnabhai: abe, iisa bolna, ek punction ko gaya tha, apun ko ek gaurd ne pakda, aur check keeya, bola, bhaisab ap kaepas AK-47 hae, maynae bola, to kya huva, AK-47 ootaya usko voodadheeya, sale ye security wala itna check kar kae tung keeya rae.

Circuit: bhai, ye USCIS hota kya hae?

Munnabhai: simple hae re circuit, bolae tho unlimited security checks for Indian software engineers

CIRCUIT:- Bhai Yeah Ombudsman kya hota hai


Munnabhai:- Ombudsman bole to Sarkari Paltu Kutta


Circuit:- Bhai Yeah Ombudsman desi ko kyo banaya

Munnabhai:- Kyoki usse vafadar paltu kutte duniya mein kahi nahi hote...


Circut:- Bhai, yeah infopass ko infopass kyo kehte hai

Munnabhai:-

Infopass Bole to:-

I Indian

N Native

F Freaking

O Out with

P Pending

A Application

S Status and

S Scrutinized


Circuit: bhai, aaj bhi na, Chamiya boli "under review"

Munnabhai: Circuit, usko thu itna tung kyo kartha rae, vo teri under review kar rahi hae

Circuit: bhai, SR raise karu ka?

Munnabhai: bidu, Sarkari Ration card ka zaroorat nahi apun ko

Circuit: bhai, vo tho service request hae bhai,

Munnabhai: tho kya huva, service request bolnae sae pehele vo Chamiya teri under review kar rahi hae, achha hae na

Circuit: bhai, aaj boli "extended review"

Munnabhai: thu gaya rae, wat laggaye, vo Chamiya teri under review karnae ke bad may extended review karaegee, ab kya hoga kalia

Circuit:- Bhai yeh EAD kya hota hai

Munnabhai:- Extensive Approval delay

Circuit: bhai, ek baat boloon...saala waat lagana to uscis se seekhney kaa....aese lagate hain...sala aese lagate hain ki phatt ti zor se hai lekin awaaz nahin aati...

Munnabhai: abey Circuit, lekin apun ko to bindaas awaaz aayi...

Circuit: bhai, jaaney do naa...aaj khaana kuch jayada ho gayela thaa.

Adjustment of Status

Circuit: bhai, adjust karney ko itne time kyon lag rela hai... bhai, apun ko dene kaa...saala ek din main kaat peet kar adjust kar dega...

Munnabhai: Circuit, yeh under wear nahin hai jo andar haath daala aur adjust kar diya...yaa under review jaata hai phir kuch bahar nahin aata hai...


Current Status:

आपकी केस अग्ली कार्यवाही के लिये बिहार झिलाधिकारी कार्यालय भेजी गयी हैं

Munnabhai: Abe Circuit tumko last year GC milta to thik hota na..
Circuit: nahi bhai , sahi hua.. last year GC milta to .. main house buy kar leta tha.. tension nahi lene ka..


Circuit:- Bhai Yeh 140 kya hota hai

Munnabhai:- 140 bole to 2050 mein rifle ko aisa nam diya jayega


Circuit:- Bhai yeah desi pantar log ne phul bheja to kya bapu prasann hoge
Munnabhai:- nahi yaar bapu nahi bap prasann hua, uscis director, tera, mera, sabka bap

Circuit:- Bhai 485 approve hone ke bad kya hota hai
Munnabhai:- 2 minute tak heart bandh ho jata hai

Circuit:- To bhai yeah heart bole to phirse chalu kaise hota hai
Munnabhai:- Jab teri akh pe balti bhar ke pani dala jata hai aur tere ko pata chalta hai ki subah ho gayi mamu........ 485 ka approval to sapna tha..

Subah ho gayi mamu, 140 to approve ho gaya, lekin 485 ki kahani shuru ho gayi mamu..

Subah ho gayi mamu......
Circuit:- Bhai 485 approve hone ke bad kya hota hai
Munnabhai:- 2 minute tak heart bandh ho jata hai

Circuit:- To bhai yeah heart bole to phirse chalu kaise hota hai
Munnabhai:- Jab teri akh pe balti bhar ke pani dala jata hai aur tere ko pata chalta hai ki subah ho gayi mamu........ 485 ka approval to sapna tha..

Subah ho gayi mamu, 140 to approve ho gaya, lekin 485 ki kahani shuru ho gayi mamu..

Subah ho gayi mamu......

Circuit: bhai, aaj Chamiya boli "VISA number" nahi hae

Munnabhai: aare tension nahi laene ka, bhai sae puch nae ka, tere VISA card pae number hae na, usko dae, aur green card puch.

mera kya hoga

abe circuit

janhvi ko jane de

janhvi nahi chahiye

mere ko to card chahiye

kya karu


circuit:- simple hai bhai, janhvi ko bolo

INSTEAD OF "GOOD MORNING MUMBAI"

SAY

"GREEN CARD MUNNABHAI"


Munnabhai: Circuit, mamu ke sath kuch locha huha

Circuit: Bhai, tension math lae, naam bata, sab ko kat dallunga

Munnabhai: nahi circuit, usko kuch labor ka locha bola, mae pura samja nahi, thu jakae patha kar laena

Circuit: abi gaya, abhi aaya, tu idhar hi bait bhai

Circuit: bhai, mamu ko labor ka problem hae bhai

Munnabhai: Circuit, tu bhi na, labor bole to, labor pain hae kya

Circuit: bhai,pata nahi, labor ka locha usho kaise, uska biwi ko aana tha na

Munnabhai: Circuit,tu ek kam kar, ja kae ambulance bula, aspathal lae kae chaltae hae, mae jakae janhvi ko laekae aatha hun


in the hospital


mamu: what the hell is going on, Munna tu mujae idhar kyo lae ke aaya

Munnabhai: mamu tu bhi na, majak mat kar, tu hi nae bola labor ka locha hae

mamu: you idiot, mera green card ka labor ka locha hae, tu kya samja, abhi wat lagadheeya na mera, Oh god what am I talking

Circuit: bhai, mae samja nahi

Munnabhai: mamu, problem kya hae tera, teek teek bata

mamu: O god, I can't explain, iske bhasha mae hi boltha hun, kya karae

mamu: munna, mera LC ko voodadeeya sale nae, kisi aur ko dae deeya, raste pe mila to uska wat laga tha hun, O jee what am I talking

Munnabhai: mamu, to tension mat le, may sub set kartha hun, Circuit idhar ah

Circuit: bhai

Munnabhai: circuit, iska to kuch LC ka wat lag gaya

Circuit: bhai, ek bat poochu

Munnabhai: poocho

Circuit: bhai,LC kya hota hae, apun ka dheemak me teek tara gusa nahi

Munnabhai: Circuit, LC bole to "Leukemia Certification", mamu to doctor hae na, kuch to lufda huva hae, koi to uska LC churalee hoga

Circuit: Bhai yeah PERM kya hota hai

Munnabhai: Are PERM, PERM bole to Phat ke edharij raheli mamu


Circuit: Bhai, yeah CAO kis chidiya ka naam hai...

Circuit: bhai, to phir apun saale kaa naam GAO rakhega...CAO kayeko ko bolne ka....

Munnabhai: Circuit...yeh angrez log hai...inko apun bhasha ka idea nahin hai bidoo...isleye...woh kya bolte hai naa angrezi main... Center Ass Officer....kuch aese hi...kaafi deafficult hai...
Munnabhai:- Circuit aj hum ko fever hai, no lud fever

circuit:- bhai, chalo doctor ke pas chale....

munnabhai:- abe doctor kya karega yaar

circuit:- to bhai bolo, kya kare

munnabhai:- chal thik se samja, yeah lud ka kya karneka

circuit:- bhai, awaj karo, koun lagata hai yeh lud, uski to

munnabhai:- thik hai jane de, abhi woh number laga, chal mujik sunte hai jab chamiya ayegi tab bat karenge, lud kyu nahi hai

Bihar mein 10 baj gaye kya?
Circuit:- Bhai bahut dimag phat rahela hai yeah woh ek pantar bol raha tha kuch AILA, LAWSUIT , yeah sab naye funde aa gaye
kya hai yeh sab bhai

Munnabhai:- abe lawsuite yeah agrez log rifle istamal karne ke unke tarike ko bolte hai, unki rifle istemal karne ki tarkib sab alag hoti hai, sidhi goli chalti nahi hai, bole to long term effects hote hai, isko bolte hai law suit

Circuit:- ha woh to thik hai bhai lekin yeah AILA kis chidiya ka naam hai

Munnabhai:- apun ko jyada pata nahi, lekin woh mamu bol raha tha
"Ab Inki Lijiye Advice", angrezi tarike se shotting kaise karne ka , bole to kanuni shooting iski advije..

Circuit: Bhai, employer ne tung keeya, Chamiya ko phon guma deeya, Chamiya boli AC21, bhai tension mae hun

Munnabhai: circuit, AC21 bole to, America ya Canada

Circuit: Bhai, ye 21 kya hae

Munnabhai: 2 in 1 hae rae,America / Canada, tero ko jaha marjee hae vaha jeelo, aish karo

Circuit: Bhai,aaj boli, NOID beja

Munnabhai: aare jake AR11 file karna

Circuit: Bhai,AR11

Munnabhai: vo hae ke, tera ghar idhar hae, NOIDA mae nahi hae, ye Chamiya bhi na english memsab hae sali 'A' chod deeya, aagar tu vo form ko fill nai keeya to usne tera card ko NOIDA bejengae

Circuit:- Bhai yeh RFE ka kya funda hai to

Munnabhai:- woh kya hai na teri file me in angrez lok ko kuch samaj mein nahi ata hai na tab woh tere ko wapas khat likhte hai
usko bolte hai RFE bole to Request for English matlab angrezi mein unko samjane ka kya..


Circuit: Bhai,Chamiya boli, vo NIODA nahi hae NOID beja

Munnabhai: iisa bolna, Chamiya bhi tero ko pura confuse keeya, usko reverse sae padna hae, DION, uska matlab hae Dead Immigration Officer at Nebraska

Circuit: to mera file kya hoga

Munnabhai: simple hae circuit, dek vo chirkut tera file ko approve nai keeya, bapu nae usko wat laga deeya, ab tera file jo jinda hae usko transfer keeya hae, aagar vo bhi teek kaam nai keeya to uska bhi bapu wat lagayega

Circuit: Thanks munna

Munnabhai: Thanks muje nahi bapu ko bolna

Circuit: Bhai,Chamiya boli, FP expired, I will send a request to renew

Munnabhai: circuit, is tame pe usko parishn mat kar, vo bol rahi ke uski first pregnancy expire huva hae, second pregnancy ke liye vo ready kar rahi hae


Circuit:- bhai mene woh bihar phone lagaya bolte hai koi chamiya line par nahi aa sakti abhi, kyu bhai, abhi kaha bihar mein 5 baje hai?

Munnabhai:- Abe aj friday hai bole to unko night duty hai, sone dena unko.....


Munnabhai and Circuit at TSC office

Circuit: aye mamu....toich hai woh jo adjustment karta hai...

IO: What? Who are you? What are you saying?

Circuit: Bhai...yeh angrezi main kaya bolrela hai??

IO: Oh....Shit...

Munnabhai: abey Circuit...baithne ko bol raha...sit...baith ke baat karne kaa

Circuit: mamu...to aesa bol naa..kayeko dimaag ka kharcha kar le raha hai...

IO: I think there is some misunderstanding...we do not entertain in person

Circuit: bhai...phir bola kuch angrezi...aye mamu hindi main bol hindi main nahin to yahi doon kya kharcha paani...

Munnabhai: Circuit...tension nahin lene kaa...main batata hoon...bol raha hai ki miss under standing...yaaney chammiya neeche khadi hai...aur woh bando ko tamasha nahin dikhati...

Circuit: oye mamu, chamiyaa nahin bhai ko card chaiye...woh bhi hara...jaldi se chamka kar de....bhai ne bola hara to hara hi chaiye...urgante...ok...

IO: Will you leave or shall I call security?

Munnabhai: oye biddu...we live but you not...if you not give kadak kadak card...no call...only sms...incoming not free....


Circuit:- Bhai Aap Weekend mein kya karoge?
Munnabhai:- LUD to aya nahi isliye card ki to koi sambhavta nahi hai is weekend mein

To mein Hallucination yeh imbalance sab rokne ki dawai lunga

Matlab:- Apna HAYWARDS 5000............

Munnabhai/Circuit -- Hindi to English Transition

Circuit: bhai, yeh log naraaj kayke ko horele hain

Munnabhai: Circuit, inke bheja fry hai...inke bheje main kuch ghusta nahin hai....tu ab angrezi main bat kar..

Circuit: bhai, pehle bolne kaa thaa naa..apun must englis bolta hai...

Munnabhai: Circuit, mere baap bol naa...no more hindi...only englis...

Circuit: brother, i come you go...who know

Munnabhai: Circuit, fit english...high class no water no glass

Circuit: I talk...you walk...beato aesa...ruk jaaye saans...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Well yellow rock seems people are not happy with this, do you think I should remove this compliation. See for yourself.

Dumbledore
Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 5

Where are you, Moderators?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am sure these jokes are really funny for people who understand the language. But this forum, created with the purpose of helping people who have issues with their I485 applications at Texas Service Center, should accomodate only posts that are relevant and that serve the visitors irrespective of their country of origin, or culture.

There can't be anything wrong with including a punch line here and there in a foreign language, but an having an entire post in a different language is not a good idea. Imagine everyone starting doing this kind of stuff in his or her own language. This forum will become a mess in no time.

Let us keep this forum clean for our own sake.




yellowrocks said:
Hey Mogambo
Hey Mogambo



MUNNABHAI KHUSH HUA!!!!!
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
mogambo1 said:
Well yellow rock seems people are not happy with this, do you think I should remove this compliation. See for yourself.

Dumbledore
Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 5

Where are you, Moderators?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am sure these jokes are really funny for people who understand the language. But this forum, created with the purpose of helping people who have issues with their I485 applications at Texas Service Center, should accomodate only posts that are relevant and that serve the visitors irrespective of their country of origin, or culture.

There can't be anything wrong with including a punch line here and there in a foreign language, but an having an entire post in a different language is not a good idea. Imagine everyone starting doing this kind of stuff in his or her own language. This forum will become a mess in no time.

Let us keep this forum clean for our own sake.
Click to expand...


Though I am from India, I am not happy about using a language which is not understandable for all....
 
If Moderators want they can change the subject line

If Moderators want they can change subject line to

MUNNABHAI JOKES:- IN HINDI...

AFTER THAT IF ROW VISITS IT, THATS their problem
 
Academy Awards

Academy Award for Worst Customer Service
10000 votes total

Nominees are

Police - 0 Votes
Fire - 0 votes
Ambulance - 0 votes
IRS - 99 Votes
Motor Vehicle Agency(Department of Motor Vehicles) 1000 Votes
Department of Health - 1 Vote
USCIS- 8900 Votes

AND THE AWARD GOES TO


USCIS


Academy Awards for Slowest Service


NO NOMINEES AVAILABLE FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD

SO AWARD GOES TO INCUMBENT USCIS.........
 
Senores

Esto es un sitio para aprender y comprender el proceso de inmigracion. Hablen Ingles Carajo!!
 
WELL DONE MEHRO YOU SEEM TO BE LIKE AN UNDISCOVERED GEM WHERE WERE U FOR SOMANY YEARS. PLEASE CONTRIBUTE IN HINDI.



mehro said:
are bhai MIMCi, tu e ka bolat ho

hamar samajhwa kuch nahi aawat
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Non Hindi Visiter Are Strongly Suggested To Use Google Translation To Understans This

NON HINDI VISITERS ARE STRONGLY SUGGESTED TO USE GOOGLE TRANSLATION TO UNDERSTAND THIS THREADS POSTINGS.

SEE WHEN YELLOWROCKS CAN USE GOOGLE TO UNDERSTAND SPANISH WHY NOT THESE NON-HINDI COMPLAINERS NOT USE GOOGLE IF THEY WANT TO UNDERSTAND.


THE PROBLEM IS EVEN GOOGLE CANT TRANSLATE THIS **HOT STUFF** :confused: :rolleyes:

yellowrocks said:
This is a site to learn and to include/understand the immigration process

Courtesy google..
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
YOU WROTE IN YOUR signature that you went for fp without fp notice, how did u manage to do that. what did u say. did u get an fp notice and u forgot it at home or something or just wanted to initiate things with uscis when they your 2nd FP. Anyway tell me how did u manage to get ur 2nd fp done without notice what exactly did u say to enter the building. in washington dc they check ur fp notice and then they let you inside. so i dont understand how u did it.

marooned42 said:
StillAlive: the intention of this thread became clear to non-Hindi speaking users quite a bit late into the thread, when the whole back and forth began.

My intention was never to stop the jokes. I have had a great time reading them too. I just found the tone of certain comments very challenging, and felt compelled to respond to what seemed like an attempt to alienate members of the forum who don't understand a language quite a few of us here apparently do. That's all.

By all means we should continue providing humor anyway we can. However, if it doesn't pertain to the issues that this forum was created for, the least courtesy we can provide to others is to let them know beforehand not to take anything in that thread seriously. And if we fail to do so, at least not attack them when they try to point out that something's amiss.

mv1211: A congressional staffer has enquired of TSC about my case, and got the usual response ("check back after 60 days") a week ago, even though TSC gave me the same response 45 days earlier than the congressional inquiry. Looks like the 60-day period is a sliding window. Who knows what the hell they want from me - they never asked me for any documents.
Click to expand...
 
Independence Day

Circuit:- Bhai aj apni application pe LUD kyo nahi ayega

Munnabhai:- Kyoki aj swatantra din hai aur sarkari kacheri bandh hai
 
Everything has a Connection

Guys

From yellowrocks you have heard about Munnabhai and Gandhiji about appreciating Gandhiji

Did anyone ever wonder that what day did Yellowrocks join this forums

Please check it out...
 
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