Any ideas or suggestions

TheyStink said:
BTW, outside the scope of this forum; she wants to work things out. Says that she had bad chat addiction and did things without realizing or knowing what she was doing (actually meeting people and so on.....). I'm at fault too as I cut off any communication with her in last 7-8 months and that's when her "addiction" got worst. She's willing to sign any papers or do anything to work things out.
Is that addiction part true? If by slightest chance (not likely) I decide to work it out, any steps I should take or get any papers signed? I own everything (house etc.) but of course she's entitled to 50% at this time no matter what. She's not working at the moment and we have 2 kids.
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Sorry to hear your situation and can certainly understand your frastruation and mixed feelings about things. I am not an expert in marriage relationship, but as common sense from an individual with a family, my first thought on that is how horiible would be for your two kids if the divorce is the only solution. Of casue, if things were so bad to causing possible harm to the kids, then it will be another situation. From what you are saying here, you seem to be a very reasonable and thoughtful individual, and you seem willing to give your wife another chance as well, but afriad all your efforts might be wasted at the end.... I think the best apporach would be working through a consoler. Based on your own personal experiences and years of relationship with your wife, you should have a fairly good idea if your wife is sincere to seeking for the patches between two of you. From that point forward, I am sure you will have the answer to your original question.

No matter what the end sulotion that worked out for you in your marriage relationship, I am sure there will always be the option for your future. Good luck and best wishes.
 
Sorry to hear your situation. My personal experience is that "once a cheater always a cheater". This theory is proven wrong on several web forums etc etc and I am in no position to support my stance but the reality is that life is too short. For me it was hard but eventually had to just pack up and move on as sometimes thoughts become a demon in itself. There will always be doubt, there will always be mistrust regardless of what the defendent proclaims he/she is doing to build the trust back up again. For me, luck was on my side that I met someone during that time who literally slapped and took me out of the emotional nonsense I was living in and since then I am very very very happy. Forgiveness followed also which is also part of the process.

Not trying to pursuade you. Just suggesting you look deep in to your heart and then make the decision. This one sure is done better with heart than head because reasons you gonna formulate will just so long.

Best regards.

BTW: from what i hear, she cheated on her new guy recently and is currently going through a divorce. Go figure.
 
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I always abstain from giving relationship advice, as it turned around and bit me on the a$$ in the past, but I'll provide some personal observations. The wife of the friend whom I mentioned a few posts earlier blatantly lied to him about running off with a guy she met on MySpace. She told her husband that she was having personal issues and was going to a weekend-long religious retreat to try and figure things out. After he told me about the circumstances surrounding her sudden departure, it wasn't hard to figure out what his wife was up to. I told him to stop being so naive and open his eyes to the situation. He then got into his wife's e-mail account and got concrete proof that she was cheating on him (I won't go into the graphic details). When his wife arrived home from the "religious retreat", she acted like nothing has happened. My friend confronted her and they had a big fight, where (surprise, surprise) she blamed her infidelities on him. He attempted to patch things up, only to have his wife decide to leave to be with the guy she cheated on her husband with. Her lover even had the audacity to pick her up at their house. To make a long story short, she left her lover to return to her husband, left her husband again several weeks later to run back to the lover, whom she left a month or so later and returned to her husband. Since then, my friend claims that his relationship with his wife has never been better.

TheyStink, you seem like a decent person. The decision is ultimately up to you and I'm sure that you'll decide to do what you feel is best for you. At the risk of sounding judgmental, I believe that few things in life could be more wrong (from a moral perspective) than engaging in infidelity in the home that one shares with their spouse. I sincerely hope that your kids weren't home at that time. Good luck to you.
 
My advice is why not give a chance to her in sack of your kids with strong warning! May be things could be solved, she could learn the lesson, keep secret eye on her.Talk to her if she want to be a good wife, good mother in sack of kids? If kids not there then I am not going to be there at all.For you now kids are first priority just think for the kids.
 
Thank you all for your views and opinions; sincerely appreciated.
At this point, for sake of kids, I've decided to give her one more chance. Hopefully it will bring good things out of it then regret later. But for kids, I'm willing to take that chance at this point.
Thanks again.
 
Thank God, I feel very good with your decison.Because I was thinking about the Kids.I can understand your pain, even if I am on your position,I can't do that in that kind of situation. Its was realy bad moral. But just forget it and keep sharp n secret eye. Try to adjust, try to avoid arguments.You know what she is so no use to west your energy use that energy for for your kids. Just give as much time as you can to your kids.

Thanks

TheyStink said:
Thank you all for your views and opinions; sincerely appreciated.
At this point, for sake of kids, I've decided to give her one more chance. Hopefully it will bring good things out of it then regret later. But for kids, I'm willing to take that chance at this point.
Thanks again.
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