Tgif

dsatish

Registered Users (C)
Wow, This is not only my first TGIF posting (in 1+ yrs in the forum), but also i am the creater of this thread :cool:

An IT consultant gets a job at a new client. On the day he joins his client, the manager was very busy and he tells this guy that he will introduce other team members on the next day. That being the first day, he doesn't have much work and he just wanders around and watches every body around. On the next day, the boss says that he wants to introduce others to the new consultant . The new hire just smiles and says, sure. Then the boss takes him to the other consultant first and the new consultant says that that guy must be a consultant. The manager asks him, how do you know ? The new guy says, i just made a guess. Then the manager takes him to the two full time employees and the new guy says that they must be the full time employees. The manager appreciates the sixth sense of the new hire and he takes him to the database DBA. To his surprise, the new hire tells that that guy must be the DBA. Now the boss gets curious and asks him how does he know all these people ?The consultant smiles (typical) and says that it's again a guess. Then the boss takes him to the QA lady and again the new guy gets it correct. Finally, the boss takes him to the Unix administrator and the new consultant again gets him correctly.

Amazed at how this guy can tell the roles of each employee, the manager pleads this guy to tell him how did he make such perfect guesses each time. The consultant, as always, smiles, and says this: Yester day, i was just roaming around and i observed all these people . The other consultant was always on the internet and so that's the easiest guess. The full time employees were all the time talking about this years's bonus and speculating on how much rise they might get. The QA lady was always talking non-stop with others. The consultant said that the toughest guess was to distinguish between the DBA and the Unix admin, because both are equally sleepy faced :p . He finally made his guessbased on his experience, that the sleepy indian is the DBA and the sleepy american is the Unix Admin.

PS: The above joke is just meant fun. Not always true. Enjoy. It's a long week-end for me. That's why i am so happy. :D :D :D
 
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Originally posted by dsatish
Wow, This is not only my first TGIF posting (in 1+ yrs in the forum), but also i am the creater of this thread :cool:

An IT consultant gets a job at a new client. On the day he joins his client, the manager was very busy and he tells this guy that he will introduce other team members on the next day. That being the first day, he doesn't have much work and he just wanders around and watches every body around. On the next day, the boss says that he wants to introduce others to the new consultant . The new hire just smiles and says, sure. Then the boss takes him to the other consultant first and the new consultant says that that guy must be a consultant. The manager asks him, how do you know ? The new guy says, i just made a guess. Then the manager takes him to the two full time employees and the new guy says that they must be the full time employees. The manager appreciates the sixth sense of the new hire and he takes him to the database DBA. To his surprise, the new hire tells that that guy must be the DBA. Now the boss gets curious and asks him how does he know all these people ?The consultant smiles (typical) and says that it's again a guess. Then the boss takes him to the QA lady and again the new guy gets it correct. Finally, the boss takes him to the Unix administrator and the new consultant again gets him correctly.

Amazed at how this guy can tell the roles of each employee, the manager pleads this guy to tell him how did he make such perfect guesses each time. The consultant, as always, smiles, and says this: Yester day, i was just roaming around and i observed all these people . The other consultant was always on the internet and so that's the easiest guess. The full time employees were all the time talking about this years's bonus and speculating on how much rise they might get. The QA lady was always talking non-stop with others. The consultant said that the toughest guess was to distinguish between the DBA and the Unix admin, because both are equally sleepy faced :p . He finally made his guessbased on his experience, that the sleepy indian is the DBA and the sleepy american is the Unix Admin.

PS: The above joke is just meant fun. Not always true. Enjoy. It's a long week-end for me. That's why i am so happy. :D :D :D

Good one.
Hmmmmmmm. I don't seem to get the rationale behind the determination of Indian DBA and US Admin?
 
Re: Re: Tgif

Originally posted by OmGV
Good one.
Hmmmmmmm. I don't seem to get the rationale behind the determination of Indian DBA and US Admin?

In my 5 yrs experience as a consultant at 5 client sites, i have found that most of the times DBA'a are indians and Unix Admin's are Americans. So the joke :D
 
Continuing my friend dsatish's TGIF

Just Too Stupid

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

".......Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
 
Santa asking time

Santa asking time

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa raste per ja raha tha aur achanak vahan se gujarate hue ek adami se puchha : "Bhaisaab kya time hua hai ?"

Adami :"Kyun? jarur...abhi 4:00 baje hai !"

Santa apane sir ko khujata hau..heran pareshan :"Arey yaar ajib hai...subah se sab ko yehi question puchh raha hun...aur sab log alag alag jawab de rahe hai"
 
haircut

Preeto goes for haircut

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Preeto took her dog to the parlor for a haircut, and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $60, she was shocked.

"I only pay 50 bucks for my own haircut!"

The groomer replied,

"But you don't bite, do you?!"
 
36 People in a Plane

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

35 People and an Irishman were in a 4 engine jumbo jet heading
over the Pacific Ocean,
Suddenly, a Message is announced,
"Ladies and Gentlemen Engine #2 has Died, We will be 30 mins late"
"Damn!" Said the Irishman,
10 mins later, "I`m sorry people Engine #3 has died,
We`ll be 1 hour late"
20 mins later,
"Every one, engine # 4 has died,sorry, We`ll be 2 hours late"
Suddenly the Irish man speaks out,
"Bloody hell, If the last engine goes we`ll be stuck up here
all day!!"
 
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