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- Thread starter roran
- Start date
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Re: a good one
masterji:cuz the akashwani said "devaki's 8th child was gonna kill kamsa" which had nothing to do with vasudev.
masterji:cuz the akashwani said "devaki's 8th child was gonna kill kamsa" which had nothing to do with vasudev.
st8
Registered Users (C)
INTERNET PARKING NOTICE
Offender : You!
Date: Friday, January 3, 2003
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Offender : You!
Date: Friday, January 3, 2003
Offense #5556789 : in front of the computer TOO LONG!
Details of Offense :
During our routine sweep of the Internet we, the Internet Police, have discovered that you have been on your chair in front of the computer TOO LONG!
You are HEREBY ORDERED to clean up that pile of cups, cans, wrappers and papers on your desk (yes, we can see you - sit up straight!) and after you have logged into the real world for a minimum of ten minutes you may log back on to the Internet.
Failure to comply may result in loss of reality, carpal tunnel syndrome, and the requirement of a larger chair. The timer starts NOW! Get off your butt - you'll thank us for it later.
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Registered Users (C)
u r so wrong roran
you have terribly misread your partner. Because research shows that men are emotional too even though not as emotional as women.
Originally posted by roran
If you ask me(i am not a male), I would say men are probably 10% into emotions,insecurity etc.,The rest are all "Don't Care, Have Fun" attitude for them.
When it comes to emotions, it is like talking to a wall.
you have terribly misread your partner. Because research shows that men are emotional too even though not as emotional as women.
Re: u r so wrong roran
I am not wrong. It depends on an individual and it is very relative in terms. I don't know if any research statistics will ever help in these behavioral aspects. One can only say from one's own experience. So, maybe you are a very emotional guy. Please ask the same question to your wife and see what she says. Whatever she thinks is emotional(whichever will trigger emotional feelings) may not be tha same for you and vice versa. This percentage which I quoted is from my point of view. My hubby might say the same, that females are 10% emotional, though he may not say that I am 90% fun.
I am not wrong. It depends on an individual and it is very relative in terms. I don't know if any research statistics will ever help in these behavioral aspects. One can only say from one's own experience. So, maybe you are a very emotional guy. Please ask the same question to your wife and see what she says. Whatever she thinks is emotional(whichever will trigger emotional feelings) may not be tha same for you and vice versa. This percentage which I quoted is from my point of view. My hubby might say the same, that females are 10% emotional, though he may not say that I am 90% fun.
I think guys are too much into position. they want to prove to their wives that they are the best. hardly admit their weaknesses especially to their wives. God only knows what they want to show to this world! I find them tooooo selfish when it comes to emotional care. When they see girls then all their morals go down the drain. They are hypocrites most of the time. They are paranoids......always to extreme of some character........either too hen pegged or too dominating.
This apply to 95% of guys. I am sure about it too.
This apply to 95% of guys. I am sure about it too.
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Registered Users (C)
sorry
I didn't mean to start any war girls( roran/485gccase).
Peace!!!
I didn't mean to start any war girls( roran/485gccase).
Peace!!!
well I'll say guys are like wild horses.........either are tamed by their parents or by wives. Well, thats like my personal belief. I don't care if anybody accepts it. I have seen it in so many situations. Roran your husband might be different. On personal offense pl.
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i heard this from an american friend of mine
It's heaven if you have
"Chinese food, Japanese Wife, British home and American Pay".
It's Hell if you have
"Chinese Pay, Japanese Home, British Food and American Wife".
It's heaven if you have
"Chinese food, Japanese Wife, British home and American Pay".
It's Hell if you have
"Chinese Pay, Japanese Home, British Food and American Wife".
Back to jokes please ....
Please don't deviate from the humor thread, I thought we are here exchanging some fun, lets not get into emotions/physiological issues
WHEN THE END OF THE WORLD ARRIVES, HOW WILL THE MEDIA REPORT IT?"
USA Today:
WE'RE DEAD
The Wall Street Journal:
DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
National Enquirer:
O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN
Playboy:
GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft Systems Journal:
APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE
Victoria's Secret Catalog:
OUR FINAL SALE
Sports Illustrated:
GAME OVER
Wired:
THE LAST NEW THING
Rolling Stone:
THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR
Readers Digest:
'BYE
Discover Magazine:
HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW
THE COSMOS?
TV Guide:
DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!
Lady's Home Journal:
LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGEMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!
America Online:
SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.
Inc. magazine:
TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft's Web Site:
IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE.
Sun:
ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE!
NBC News:
THE END IS NIGH. FIRST, THESE MESSAGES...
Please don't deviate from the humor thread, I thought we are here exchanging some fun, lets not get into emotions/physiological issues
WHEN THE END OF THE WORLD ARRIVES, HOW WILL THE MEDIA REPORT IT?"
USA Today:
WE'RE DEAD
The Wall Street Journal:
DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
National Enquirer:
O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN
Playboy:
GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft Systems Journal:
APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE
Victoria's Secret Catalog:
OUR FINAL SALE
Sports Illustrated:
GAME OVER
Wired:
THE LAST NEW THING
Rolling Stone:
THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR
Readers Digest:
'BYE
Discover Magazine:
HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW
THE COSMOS?
TV Guide:
DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!
Lady's Home Journal:
LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGEMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!
America Online:
SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.
Inc. magazine:
TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft's Web Site:
IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE.
Sun:
ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE!
NBC News:
THE END IS NIGH. FIRST, THESE MESSAGES...
Sardar Joke, no offence please
Once a Sardarji was walking on very deserted road with no sign of any transportation.
Sardarji thought that he is stuck for sure, buf suddenly he saw 2 headlites in approaching towards him, the car stopped, it was a BMW and a very sexy girl climbed out of it.
1 hour later Sardarji reaches his home, and narrates the whole episode to his friend, who was worried and asked him how did he made it to his home.
Sardarji replied:
"The girl after coming out of the car stripped completely and said TAKE ME, so it was a very obvious choice, I took the BMW and drove back to my home"
Once a Sardarji was walking on very deserted road with no sign of any transportation.
Sardarji thought that he is stuck for sure, buf suddenly he saw 2 headlites in approaching towards him, the car stopped, it was a BMW and a very sexy girl climbed out of it.
1 hour later Sardarji reaches his home, and narrates the whole episode to his friend, who was worried and asked him how did he made it to his home.
Sardarji replied:
"The girl after coming out of the car stripped completely and said TAKE ME, so it was a very obvious choice, I took the BMW and drove back to my home"
Kakatiya_King
Registered Users (C)
The MALE Rules...
THE MALE RULES We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are their rules! Pleasenote...
these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! enjoy...
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months
we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
together. No it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
camping.
THE MALE RULES We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are their rules! Pleasenote...
these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! enjoy...
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months
we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
together. No it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like
camping.
SO HOW'D YOU BREAK YOUR ARM?
Good one Kakatiya_King....
A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of
story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart. Conditions were perfect.
12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over, "tell me when w
e're having fun" kind of day.
One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in
dire need of a restroom. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there
was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for
female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go
away.
If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a
temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters. So, with time running
out, the woman weighed her options.
Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since
she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods. No
o ne would even notice, he assured her. The white will provide more than
adequate camouflage. So she headed for the tree line, began disrobing and
proceeded to do her thing. If you've ever parked on the side of a slope,
then you know there is a right way and wrong way to set up your skis so you
don't move. Yup, you got it. She had them positioned the wrong way.
Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during embarrassing moments. Without
warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing
through the trees, somehow missing all of them, and into another slope. Her
derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her
knees, and she was picking up speed all the while.
She continued on backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual
vista for the other skiers.
The woman skied, if you define that verb loosely, back under the lift and
finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke
her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last her husband
arrived, put an end to her nudie show, then went to the base of the
mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who transported her to a hospital.
In the emergency room she was regrouping when a man with an obviously
broken leg was put in the bed next to hers.
"So. how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.
"It was the darndest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this
ski lift, and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes. There was this crazy
woman skiing backward out-of-control down the mountain with her bare bottom
hanging out of her clothes and pants down around her knees."
"I leaned over to get a better look and I guess I didn't realize how far
I'd moved. I fell out of the lift."
"So, how'd you break your arm?"
Good one Kakatiya_King....
A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of
story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart. Conditions were perfect.
12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over, "tell me when w
e're having fun" kind of day.
One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in
dire need of a restroom. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there
was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for
female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go
away.
If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a
temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters. So, with time running
out, the woman weighed her options.
Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since
she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods. No
o ne would even notice, he assured her. The white will provide more than
adequate camouflage. So she headed for the tree line, began disrobing and
proceeded to do her thing. If you've ever parked on the side of a slope,
then you know there is a right way and wrong way to set up your skis so you
don't move. Yup, you got it. She had them positioned the wrong way.
Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during embarrassing moments. Without
warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing
through the trees, somehow missing all of them, and into another slope. Her
derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her
knees, and she was picking up speed all the while.
She continued on backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual
vista for the other skiers.
The woman skied, if you define that verb loosely, back under the lift and
finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke
her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last her husband
arrived, put an end to her nudie show, then went to the base of the
mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who transported her to a hospital.
In the emergency room she was regrouping when a man with an obviously
broken leg was put in the bed next to hers.
"So. how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.
"It was the darndest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this
ski lift, and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes. There was this crazy
woman skiing backward out-of-control down the mountain with her bare bottom
hanging out of her clothes and pants down around her knees."
"I leaned over to get a better look and I guess I didn't realize how far
I'd moved. I fell out of the lift."
"So, how'd you break your arm?"