You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Marriage Fraud
- Thread starter mb20
- Start date
Jackolantern
Registered Users (C)
He is 20 - I am 10+ yrs older - 2nd marriage for me
He is working FT, albeit min wage - not enough to cover his part of expenses
We have agreement on money and he has held his end of deal
Since last post, he has been accumulating clothes/sport stuff from other people we mutually know to send back home to Russia. I told him this is embarassing to me and no funds in budget to be mailing 10lb care packages back home just because. It feels like i'm married to a scavanger who's riding on the backs of others. He's borrowed money from others we mutually know in past to send back to Russia and now they're asking me to borrow money... 5K.
I'm not into caretaking for anyone, believe in self-responsibility, and his fam is not living on skid row - they work and own home and likely just getting by like the rest of us. His US relative told me he was sent to this country to earn money and support the family back home. How pathetic to put on anyone, much less a young adult. Again, another major cultural difference. To your other question, being that he attempted to cheat on me prior to marriage, which I forgave and we went to counseling over, I hardly feel like I'm a queen or he's madly in love with me. I, however, don't think he's cheating any more. This week, he had a tantrum over something stupid and bit me. I went to police to report - no arrest/charges filed. He has not been in home this week and withdrew all his money that I was supposed to receive to pay bills. Funny how that was forefront to him to do after incident.
I'm too old for this BS, have worked to hard in my life, college educated, and need to move in new direction. I can't honestly say what his motives are, but no, I am not happy.
What is deeply confusing me is why on earth you married him in the first place. Maybe you are confused about that yourself.
cafeconleche
Registered Users (C)
Well, alternately, you can also tell him your suspicions (if you're comfortable doing so) and say that you will only withdraw the petition and not claim it was a sham marriage if he agrees to leave you alone. I don't know if that will work, but I thought I'd mention it. Experts might weigh in.
You can only expect so much from a 20 yr old guy. Its pretty obvious that you husband is still pretty immature. Women usually bite guys... that fact that he bit you to express frastration shows that he is probably even more immature than your average 20 yr old dude.
Again, him accumulating "sports crap" to send back to Russia instead of doing something that would be of benefit to his family (you and your child) shows immaturity and ignorance. I'm assuming its going to cost him a few hundreds of dollars to ship that crap.
If he was not immature, he would be spending that money on bills or even a weekend getaway for his new family.
Borrowing money or stuff from your mutual friends shows gross ignorance and maybe even stupidity on his part. This is evidence that your husband grew up in poverty which is sad, but sucks at the same time...
This is where i'm starting to see something that resembles a smoking gun! If his folks back in Russia are poverty stricken, it would be reasonable for them to borrow or ask for a couple, maybe a few hundreds of $ for food, medications, etc. But that does not seem to be the case. They asked you for FIVE THOUSAND and they don't even know you? Did your hubby reject or entertain the idea? Do you think he is rooting for them to get the money?
Finally, you are not happy, you don't feel like he is madly in love with you and he even recently assulted you. This is not looking good for you lady.
Time has come for you to do what is best for you and your child! Maybe he is good in bed or something, but this guy (or should I call him a kid) does not seem to have your interests at heart. He is using you. Be it for money, GC, shelter, it doesn't matter. Now is the time for you to think about yourself. You deserve better. There is a MR. right out there waiting to sweep you right off your feet...
Mr. Russian guy needs sometime to grow up, mature, learn some manners and know how to treat a woman.
Or maybe Mr. Russian guy needs intense counseling. Maybe you can withdraw your petitions and try to salvage the marriage through couseling. If he has a nerve in him that loves you, he will be willing to change. If he does not respond to marriage couseling, move on baby girl...like I said, you deserve better... Best of luck...
Again, him accumulating "sports crap" to send back to Russia instead of doing something that would be of benefit to his family (you and your child) shows immaturity and ignorance. I'm assuming its going to cost him a few hundreds of dollars to ship that crap.
If he was not immature, he would be spending that money on bills or even a weekend getaway for his new family.
Borrowing money or stuff from your mutual friends shows gross ignorance and maybe even stupidity on his part. This is evidence that your husband grew up in poverty which is sad, but sucks at the same time...
This is where i'm starting to see something that resembles a smoking gun! If his folks back in Russia are poverty stricken, it would be reasonable for them to borrow or ask for a couple, maybe a few hundreds of $ for food, medications, etc. But that does not seem to be the case. They asked you for FIVE THOUSAND and they don't even know you? Did your hubby reject or entertain the idea? Do you think he is rooting for them to get the money?
Finally, you are not happy, you don't feel like he is madly in love with you and he even recently assulted you. This is not looking good for you lady.
Time has come for you to do what is best for you and your child! Maybe he is good in bed or something, but this guy (or should I call him a kid) does not seem to have your interests at heart. He is using you. Be it for money, GC, shelter, it doesn't matter. Now is the time for you to think about yourself. You deserve better. There is a MR. right out there waiting to sweep you right off your feet...
Mr. Russian guy needs sometime to grow up, mature, learn some manners and know how to treat a woman.
Or maybe Mr. Russian guy needs intense counseling. Maybe you can withdraw your petitions and try to salvage the marriage through couseling. If he has a nerve in him that loves you, he will be willing to change. If he does not respond to marriage couseling, move on baby girl...like I said, you deserve better... Best of luck...
Jackolantern
Registered Users (C)
He agreed to counseling because he realizes his green card is in jeopardy if he doesn't (even if he doesn't know you withdrew the I-130). Stop doubting your decision. You didn't withdraw it for fun or on impulse. You did after thinking long and hard about it, and because you realize you're being used.
You would have to refile everything ... I-130, I-485, I-864 and all. That includes having him do another medical and fingerprints. Which means he'll find out you withdrew.
You would have to refile everything ... I-130, I-485, I-864 and all. That includes having him do another medical and fingerprints. Which means he'll find out you withdrew.
Are you paying for his treatment? You shouldn't.
First he assults you, then now he is slapping your child? Why did he have to slap your child?
Okay, this does not smell good...as a matter of fact, I think this stinks!!Why is he getting mental health treatment? did he get a nervous breakdown after you had him removed from the house? Is that why he is suicidal?
mb20, If you were my sister, I would advice you to leave this guy alone. At least long enough for him to grow up. This does not look like love to me.
Now I see a smoking gun... He wants you to help him in every way: Like one stop shop: Shelter, financial, GC, sex, and everything else. Now he is having a nervous breakdown after realising that he could loose all that. Not good.
Having said that, you know him better than all of us in this forum.
Do what you think is best for you and your child.
First he assults you, then now he is slapping your child? Why did he have to slap your child?
Okay, this does not smell good...as a matter of fact, I think this stinks!!Why is he getting mental health treatment? did he get a nervous breakdown after you had him removed from the house? Is that why he is suicidal?
mb20, If you were my sister, I would advice you to leave this guy alone. At least long enough for him to grow up. This does not look like love to me.
Now I see a smoking gun... He wants you to help him in every way: Like one stop shop: Shelter, financial, GC, sex, and everything else. Now he is having a nervous breakdown after realising that he could loose all that. Not good.
Having said that, you know him better than all of us in this forum.
Do what you think is best for you and your child.
Concerned4us
Banned
OP,
Your report about physical abuse of your child is very troubling. The statistics of child abuse by a step parent are horrifying; it has already happened in your family. You really need professional help yourself; please get some immediately. It is worse to be married to the wrong person than to be single.
Your report about physical abuse of your child is very troubling. The statistics of child abuse by a step parent are horrifying; it has already happened in your family. You really need professional help yourself; please get some immediately. It is worse to be married to the wrong person than to be single.