Husband Cheating...Interview in 3 days

Cheating is a funny thing. People will tell you do this, do that, but no one truly knows your circumstances or situation. we're just not in your boat and we don't know you or your husband.

Yes you are going to be angry and for that it might be best not to make any decisions out of anger (most of the times it turns out to be regret). Call and ask to reschedule your interview (make up some reason) and take that time to decide whether you can or even want continue with your marriage or get a divorce.
 
The French Maid said:
I mostly lurk on this board but I just have to chime in on this one.

As a woman who was once married to the champion of serial cheaters, I am appalled by the statement

Antilope--"What if there is something wrong with her that drove this guy to cheat on her and you're all trying to be nice out of sympathy?

I take great offense to that and believe me, I am not offended easily. EVERYONE is responsible for themselves. NOBODY makes anybody cheat. That is just an excuse when the cheater can't take responsibility for their own actions. If she is disrespecting him in the worst ways, it is not a ticket to sleep with another woman. If you are unhappy in a marriage, leave.
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Hey, I'm sorry you got cheated on.

If you're that "appalled" by a hypothetical question that could be true and if you're so offended that you just had to come out of your lurking and post about then I wonder if you would have tried to hurt yourself if I'd actually outright accused her of being at fault for his cheating. I wouldn't have been this harsh if you hadn't used such words. People respond to situations in ways in which they see fit, it is not up to you to say what is and isn't a ticket towards doing anything. Just in case you didn't notice, I, too, have said quite a few times that we don't know the exact details of the case, therefore, we cannot give her proper advice or take sides. My statements and questions in previous posts were just examples of what her situation may be like, obviously since she herself only gave us little pearls like "married after 2 months" and bitter pills like "I want him deported".

By the way, it sounds so beautiful and easy doesn't it "if you're unhappy, leave" but that doesn't always work. Plenty of people out there stuck in unhappy relationships because they have nowhere to go, no one to help them or take them in, or for the sake of the kids, or for financial reasons, etc.

See, you're appalled by the fact that I questioned whether it may have been her fault this happened and I am appalled that someone who entered a marriage with someone after only 2 months would be so shocked she got cheated on. Different perspectives, I guess.

**Edited for harshness:)
 
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PraetorianXI said:
#2 "She signed an Affidavit of Support, I-864, for him (and even if she divorces she would have to honor that if he becomes a resident for the next 10 years!)"


He will pay child support? and she will pay "alien" alimonies or support to him as well? :p She will be under a contract to actually support the guy because of the signed I-864 (Which only becomes legal binding if the residency is approved). But even if he pays child support for those two years, the guy still has to remove the conditions on the Green Card by himself (i-751) and I wonder how is he going to do that?
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Good information. I wasn't aware of that, I thought all she had to do was stay married to him until he got his GC and then divorce him. Well, in that case I guess the kid can visit his dada over the summers:D
 
PraetorianXI said:
So you are asking her to LIE to USCIS? :confused: What is it with you people?... :rolleyes:
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I did not say to lie. I said make up a reason- for instance- I have a family situation that I have to take care. The reason doesn't have to be a lie.

geez, quick to judge.
 
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sheracar said:
I did not say to lie. I said make up a reason- for instance- I have a family situation that I have to take care. The reason doesn't have to be a lie.

geez, quick to judge.
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So if the IO asks... what is the situation she will say "My husband cheated on me and I am thinking of divorcing him"?? Right? :rolleyes:

Anyhow, Reschedule is not a viable option, as the interview is this coming Tuesday. :eek: I hope she does check this post before making her mind...
 
PraetorianXI said:
So if the IO asks... what is the situation she will say "My husband cheated on me and I am thinking of divorcing him"?? Right? :rolleyes:

Anyhow, Reschedule is not a viable option, as the interview is this coming Tuesday. :eek: I hope she does check this post before making her mind...
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I'm not telling anyone what to say or what not to say-hence I won't create scenarios. what she says is her business. goshh relax a bit or you could do something else with those hands http://www.handsonatlanta.org/
 
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sheracar said:
I'm not telling anyone what to say or what not to say-hence I won't create scenarios. what she says is her business. goshh relax a bit or you could do something else with those hands http://www.handsonatlanta.org/
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Well, I am pretty relaxed right now. Enjoying watching TV with my lovely wife :) and I also have done quite a bit of "good work / volunteering" while I wait for my AOS Interview.

Interpreting for Hispanic Pregnant Women on their visits for prenatal care and also for Hispanic Parents who bring their children to the local pediatrician. We have lots of Hispanics in this area and I have enjoyed helping them break the language barrier. :cool:

Thanks for the link to the Website, but Atlanta is actually about 2-3 hours away from where I live... I'd be interested in some places to do sightseeing or photography though, know any? :)
 
PraetorianXI said:
Well, I am pretty relaxed right now. Enjoying watching TV with my lovely wife :) and I also have done quite a bit of "good work / volunteering" while I wait for my AOS Interview.

Interpreting for Hispanic Pregnant Women on their visits for prenatal care and also for Hispanic Parents who bring their children to the local pediatrician. We have lots of Hispanics in this area and I have enjoyed helping them break the language barrier. :cool:

Thanks for the link to the Website, but Atlanta is actually about 2-3 hours away from where I live... I'd be interested in some places to do sightseeing or photography though, know any? :)
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LOL--I don't think you got the point.
 
PraetorianXI said:
What if she does find a good man? What if the cheater is a bad father indeed? There are many things that are unknown to us in this scenario... but the bottom line is, if she does not wish to remain married to him it is her decision and without a true marriage there is NO green card.

Going to the Interview and LYING about being a couple and love... it is PERJURY under OATH :p... Plus filing for divorce right after he gets the GC in the event he did... how is he going to remove the conditions on it? (i-751) huh? :confused: I doubt she will stay married to him for another 2 years...

There are no excuses for cheating on your spouse. Go ask yours if he/she would take one from you? :rolleyes:

So, do not show up for the interview and send a letter to the District Office where the interview was scheduled to, indicating the petition number and alien number and stating that you wish to withdraw your petition because you are getting a divorce and your husband cheated on you.
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Hey, you are not supposed to lie under oath. I agree with PraetorianXI. You really do not now what is going on in their lives but this woman wants her husband to be deported. she might be speaking out of anger but cheating is not good. If their marriage were true, this guy wouldn't go out and look out to be with someone else while he has a wife and a kid. he is a bloody cheater. Frankly, none of us here really knows what is going on in their case. her question is if she could get him deported. and what will happen if she doesnt show up to the interview. it seems like the answer is no, she cant get him deported. and if she AWOLs, then his case will be denied. he can go out and get married to another women and get what he wants, which seems solely a greencard. this is their private life. she can do what she wants.
 
Well she made it public when she posted her private life here.

I agree, one should not lie under oath.

I think he wont get deported , divorce this one, maybe marry another one and hopefully be present on his baby's life.

Maybe some people should not use deportation as a tool to get back on their cheating partners specially when they are babies involved. Maybe one thing to learn about this post:

"Do not get married after getting to know a person only 2 months. Do not make babies after 4 months. Do not believe the USCIS is going to expell from the country the father of your baby just because your marriage did not work"
 
He won't get deported (because of cheating). But he will be out of status as soon as the application is denied, hence he will be here illegally and accumulating illegal presence time.

It will be in his best interest to leave and who knows if a deportation order is sent to him and ICE or not.
 
techbuyer77 said:
Well she made it public when she posted her private life here.

I agree, one should not lie under oath.

I think he wont get deported , divorce this one, maybe marry another one and hopefully be present on his baby's life.

Maybe some people should not use deportation as a tool to get back on their cheating partners specially when they are babies involved. Maybe one thing to learn about this post:

"Do not get married after getting to know a person only 2 months. Do not make babies after 4 months. Do not believe the USCIS is going to expell from the country the father of your baby just because your marriage did not work"
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well, she did write her case and it is public right now, it is true. she didnt ask anybody if her kid needs a role model or not. she made public what she thought is appropriate and asked people's help on her question not weather she should stay with her husband or not. there are people advised her to lie to the immigration officer, what kind of an advise is that. it is her privacy what to do with her life. i am sure she has an idea. only thing she doesnt have any idea is, she has an interview tomorrow so someone who is trying to take advantage of her could stay in this country legally and have benefits as a citizen for two years, and she doesnt want that happen.

i wonder that if he was to be denied and it was foud out that their marriage was about to end and yet they still show upto the interview and lie as if they are still in good terms. would she be prosecuted?
 
Wel.. That said, once you open your person life to perfect strangers, you have to take their answers with a grain of salt. Otherwise, you need to keep your personal issues to yourself .
 
Call me old fashioned but infidelity is a sign of a bad person in my opinion. Someone who cannot stick to their given word and has no morals. For me cheating is the same as assault. In one case you are physically hurting someone, in the other, emotional and mental trauma is being inflicted.

techbuyer77 said:
Cheating on your partner, even though is worng does not make you a bad parent.
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Without knowing the whole picture, I can't judge a person. Maybe the partner was abusive, mentally inestable, a cheater herself, etc... Who knows? I dont justify cheating but the poster never came back to answer any of our questions.

I dont defend cheating but.... if people were all perfect divorce wouldn't exist at all. And a lot of judges give parents who previously cheated on their partners visitation rights. Cheating is not a felony.
It is morally wrong but you dont get jail time for it. Human beings are not and never will be perfect or angels.
Unless you physically or emotionally abuse your kids, you should be allowed to see them. (or unless you dont pay child support)
 
I would say go to interview, and kill his case in front of him by telling USCIS officer that you are planning to withdraw the petition and filing for divorce.

millionata001 said:
I don't know what to do. I recently found out my husband us cheating on me. He has a J1 waiver and his employment auth card. We have the adj of status interview in 3 days and I'm not going! What will be the end result? I am his sponser. Can he get married to someone and still get his green card? I want him deported! We do have a 5 month son and have been married for a yr. and married 2 months after we met. We have no pictures of us or wedding (we married in court). I am not on any leases we only have bills in our names together and an empty joint bank account.
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