Gave Up...Planning to make some bucks and go back

D

danp

Registered Users (C)
Guys/Folks/buddies/.....

My PD is May 2003.....and in my company...two were give Sub Labor....PD May 2002.....

I am sure there is no words to calm me down....

I am 35+(downhill started)......worked in India for a long time...

Now....in another country....waiting in the line....

Is it all worth guys? I thought so...but I take that back.

Then after that again US citizenship ....another 5 year chunk....

What make USA different....why do all want to come here?

Thinking about my kids.....my relative is facing huge problems with her daughter not listening ....and blah...blah....has anybod thought about it...

Now I need you guidance....just thinking of company change for higher salary....and not bothering about GC....and then return after few years....
Maybe this retrogression is doing some good things to me...

Dan
 
To give you my perspective.

I didn't think of GC when I came to US. I came here to make money and support my family back home. After I started working, I thought, let's apply for GC and see how it goes. I thought "After I have the GC, I will soon become an independent consultant and make more money".

Like everyone else, after I jumped into the GC bandwagon, I wanted to have the stamp of a permanent resident as soon as possible and reap some benefits out of that. Obviously, I am also dissapointed hearing the retrogression and the visa bulletin. My PD is Oct 2002 and was close ( a few months) to June 2002 before the Oct visa bulletin came out.

But the lesson I learnt was if you expect too much, you will be dissapointed.
Retrogression is not the end of the world. There might be something just around the corner (this Friday!). Optimism and confidence is the name of the game. If you are upto it, you will suvive.

Cheers and enjoy !
 
We all can understand the things you are going through.

Plz do not treat this reply as preach, just sharing my opinion.


Sometime in life things doesn't go as we expect, we don't know why, but there would be some good reason and God (whaterver ur beliefs are and u name him) knows that. Best thing is Practice your faith(whatever ur beliefs are) and trust on God in this difficult time, and pray, everything will be fine.

Think on this way if G.C is written in your luck it would come on right time and noone can stop it.

Neither G.C nor this whole world wealth give u happiness, Happiness is not a Destiny it is a Journey and these small materials sucess are just symbols,

If u try to focus too much on G.C and ignore other imortant things around you, you may realize later what you were chasing is not worth than what you lost.

As a friend all I can say try to balance your life, find happiness in all small things u can do. there is no tommorow to wait for happiness take a deep look around you what u are missing.


The following link may help you. (try to understand the 'law of deattachment')

http://boards.immigration.com/showthread.php?t=189628


Remember When one door is closed God open 100 more doors for you, all u need to find. Instead of going back to home country, try to explore ur other options, like Canada, It is a good peaceful place to live. do not compare as wealth, try to find peaceful and happy life for you and your family.


If you don't find this reply helpful or this is not what u were expecting, then plz do accept my aplogize.


Wish you Good Luck.
 
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Thanks...guys

The reason I am worried is the age I came to this country...
If I were in my early 20s...then it is fine...

I am 35+...just came to US....because an opportunity kicked in

I did not know...that I would be stressed like this...

My relative says...these are not problems...real problems are problems when you kids grow up here...

Now ....I am thinking.....I not in a Heaven....though it looks like...but in a Hell....

Let us wait....all my friends are all in the same boat....

It looks like problems have just started...when I was in India...

I did not have to go thru these problems....was more happier...close to relatives...and trustful friends....here friendship is fragile....sophisticated....

I still cannot understand lot of things.....

Have anybody gone back to India...and living happily...

Common guys....set me right....

Dan
 
danp said:
Thanks...guys

The reason I am worried is the age I came to this country...
If I were in my early 20s...then it is fine...

I am 35+...just came to US....because an opportunity kicked in

I did not know...that I would be stressed like this...

My relative says...these are not problems...real problems are problems when you kids grow up here...

Now ....I am thinking.....I not in a Heaven....though it looks like...but in a Hell....

Let us wait....all my friends are all in the same boat....

It looks like problems have just started...when I was in India...

I did not have to go thru these problems....was more happier...close to relatives...and trustful friends....here friendship is fragile....sophisticated....

I still cannot understand lot of things.....

Have anybody gone back to India...and living happily...

Common guys....set me right....

Dan
Click to expand...



I still feel it's a personal decission. I came to US at 35 and now I am 41. I am working as general manager in India with 25 people reporting to me. Now I am software engineer surviving the 10 lay offs in 5 years. I have two kids both studying in high school and middle school. Until now I did not find any problem with the kids. If you decide to back , then make a decession before your kids turn 8 to 10 years. After the first month at the school itself my kids made it clear that they are not going back. Now I am stuck.
rrml
 
>>The reason I am worried is the age I came to this country...
If I were in my early 20s...then it is fine...

To be or live like happy person never regret, this is the correct time for you to be here, I have seen ppl came in 20s unmatured mind,no guide, no "LUKSH" in life and the way they spent there life they are saying "They wish if they wouldn't be here so early" :D :D
So you came on right time.

>>I am 35+...just came to US....because an opportunity kicked in

We all Welcome you.



>> My relative says...these are not problems...real problems are problems when you kids grow up here...

Now ....I am thinking.....I not in a Heaven....though it looks like...but in a Hell....

Listen to your heart First. instead of relatives.


>> It looks like problems have just started...when I was in India...

I did not have to go thru these problems....was more happier...close to relatives...and trustful friends....here friendship is fragile....sophisticated....


Your reaction is natural, when I came, I packed my laguagge two times :D

Life is not problem free and nowhere, if u go back to India you would probaly thinking that You were more happy in here U.S :D :D

It would take you some time to adjust, Be brave and be bold to face all challanges.


I still cannot understand lot of things.....

Have anybody gone back to India...and living happily...

Common guys....set me right....


Do you think that ppl living in Keneya Jungle or 'bush-man' in Australia are happy? or they are not?

Let me share u a secret ,

"App Khud koo Haalat main dhalny ke kooshish kejeay na kay Haalaat ko app kay leay badalny kaa"

(Try to adjust yourself in enviornment instead u expect enviournment change for you"

Be like water Not ICE.

Hope this would help :D

Good Luck
 
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Looks like you are feeling home-sick. Everybody goes thro it, especially as soon as they come from India, even from a visit. At least I do.

I do know some people who have gone back to India. We had a very good neighbour. They decided to go back to India. Their 485 was approved 3 day (YES 3 DAYS!) before they boarded the flight, but they just applied for re-entry permit and took off. Happily settled in India. Primary reason was children schooling. They have no plans of coming back.

You do have a point about kids growing up here though and needs serious thinking. I am also planning to pack up by the time my kids start schooling. We are debating wherether to wait 3 1/2 years and take citizenship and go or leave in a year. We havce no plans of coming back so I dont know why we would need the citizenship ............................

Life has become a struggle here. So much changed after 9/11. Compared to 1996, it feels like we are in Gestapo here now.
 
Thanks again

Thanks ...guys....all these restrictions.....seems like a punishment...
Life is too programmed here.....it looks like I have force myself to get accustomed to this culture..

The problems with kids....is not their education ....they will do good.
Marriage....and then in the old age I cannot go back to India for retirement leaving the kids back here....also when I visit my relative ....his kids just say hi...and that is it.....I do not feel homely....as their relationship seems to so formal....how do I attach myself in these situations...

I simply cannot....it is not...just for money reasons.....can you get my point.


I have a friend ...who is a US Citizen and going back....all of his family are all US citizens...

He is currently packing...and going to Hyderabad.

He says ....to wait and get the Citizenship and then go back to India ...If I want....

He says...in that way...I can come back in the future...and also my kids will have India exposure

Bottomline.....I think...I should not even discuss....with anybody...
If I want to go back....I have to just pack up...as each person views are different...man US is teaching me what is life.....it is good that I came here...as I am learning more and more....about life....and people...and money

Dan
 
decide what you want and adjust accordingly

Staying back in US or going back to India has there own advantages or disadvantages and it also depends upon your situation and personal beliefs/priorities.

For me this is the way I see it.

USA is a great place possibly the best place in the world as long as you are young energetic.

When you are past prime (middle age and old age) India is the probably better.

In terms of comforts, facilities, cleanliness, lack of pollution etc USA win hands on. In terms of diversity of culture, art, etc you have more scope to explore it here. Basically you can get a taste of the whole world.

But if you do decide to stay back you must be willing to adopt the American lifestyle. Meaning you cant expect your kids to grow up like in India go for arranged marriage etc. They will be like other American kids. As long as they are doing good in studies etc I think it shouldnt really matter. The world is changing so fast. India 20 years from now will be carbon copy of US today. Be aware of that also.

Good luck in whatever you decide.
 
You are right Sir...

But....all the Metros in India....are already a CC of US's culture...No doubt about it.

But lot of People are returning back...not because of GCs...now a days....

I have see lot of people with high IQ(especially from IITs) are returning back now-a-days....

It never used to be like that....10yrs ago. Why...Am I missing something?
I met a person from Motorola Bangalore....who was here....he said ....that he would prefer to stay in Bangalore....though he will given an opportunity here.
Why? It never used to be like that...given an opportunity everybody wants to come to US....but why things have changed----Am I missing something here?

OR...is my age peceiving things in a different manner...or am lacking in IQ?

Carbon Copy---concept....since you can get the same thing in India...."Why should I stay in a different country"
 
CC of few systems

danp said:
I met a person from Motorola Bangalore....who was here....he said ....that he would prefer to stay in Bangalore....though he will given an opportunity here.
Why? It never used to be like that...given an opportunity everybody wants to come to US....but why things have changed----Am I missing something here?
Click to expand...

reason is, Indian economy is running fine now a days....
yes, you are right... now every metro city's culture is CC of US culture.... everyone (almost) in India is interesting about US systems like Insurance, contracting etc....

Earlier stage it looks so good... that just paying Rs 200/ month... go to anywhere...get medication etc.....after few years (months) then real scenarion will come up on the screen.....(everyone knows, how Insurance works here)....

Like firing the jobs....as of now we have only one word in India...that is "Hiring"... soon companies will start "Firing"....

like this many.....
 
Not to die like a orphan..pl pack up & go...

With due respect to you... I was surprised to hear your reaction about life - ONLY AFTER retrogression!!!

When PD was moving ahead, never felt to think on -
1. Growing Kids - daughters growing in USA culture of Dating/having boy friends,
2. Culture - Daughters/Son getting married Indian way of Arranged marriage, 3. Relatives - Dying like a Orphan in "Ajnabi" Shehar (City)
4. Warmth - Instead of saying - "Hi", cordial way of greeting - "Namaste with big HUG"
5. Solitory confinement - Kids staying here & at OLd age you are staying in India

I feel anyone who wants to stay here:
- Be bold & face the pro's & con's of staying here, inculding cultural difference, including marriage and morals
- Respect where you were born & brought-up and do not mix-up things of Cultural difference between culture of your home country & USA

If you feel you "DONT WANT TO DIE LIKE a ORPHAN", donot hesitate to "PACK-UP & GO"...

Choice is yours...!
 
Why do you guys put so many ..... in your sentences and then leave them incomplete ? There is a specific use of ..... . You should not be using this anywhere anytime you want.
 
people are returning because future of India looks very promising

I am myself from IIT Mumbai. Many of my friends are returning and planning to return. I thing the trend will only accelerate with time.

I am also planning to return after a few more years.

As I said everything depends upon your priorities in life. You gain some you loose some.

For me I had a great time in USA and will always preserve these memories. But I always knew that I will never be in USA after I cross 40. For me my whole family is in India. My old parents are there in India. I have a responsibility to look after them. At the end of the day the way we look after our parents we can expect the same treatment some day.

There are so many factors in life and it is very difficult to take right decisions always. But we must not loose track of the most important thing our family.

India is our home and it is our motherland. Little discomforts will be there but our heart (atleast my heart belongs there) lies in India.

India is also growing so fast. We will go back and make it even better.

30 years from now I think only a few people will even consider moving from India to USA. India is going to be a great country.

This is what I believe in my heart and that is why I will will go back to my country, to my parents and to the place where I truly belong.

So the bottomline is if you stay back here you will do great but please become part of the American culture. If you go back to India also you will do great.
So chill out and have fun.

Jai Hind. Mera Bharat mahan.
 
blister1889 said:
Why do you guys put so many ..... in your sentences and then leave them incomplete ? There is a specific use of ..... . You should not be using this anywhere anytime you want.
Click to expand...

Write a book on this and publish it....then we will start to use it....if it is useful....
 
Thaks a lot guys

As I get reponses, I am making lot of things very clear.
The reason is---I recently met a doctor. He was around 70 and I asked him why are still working--you might have earned lot of money. He answered in America only Money and Materialism exists. He said you have to get addicted to one of these and he said he is addicted to money. I told him that I feel the same and I want to pack my bags---he said please do that. Take it as my advice.

So it does depend on IQ and age---the whole decision making process.
So life is a balance between money and other things.

Dan
 
Final Word...LISTEN

Define Life and its purpose according to your faith ...

Are you living life accordingly?

I do not think place matters.

Life will challenge your sanity every time of your life and every place you go.

Ask me, living in this country 17+ years without GC. Have teenager daughter. No big deal. The thing that is keeping me going is my strong faith in the Creator.

Things of this crazy material world will give you pleasure for time being but not happiness.

You will get long lasting happiness only when you constantly seek closeness to the Creator.

I pray to the Creator that we get good guidance to live life happily without yearning for anything that does not last long, especially of this world.
Amen, tathastu, evuj thaay, aisa hi ho, etc.,
 
danp...you are going thru emotional dilemma...

With your upbringing, I am sure you will come out of this emotional dilemma....

pl keep cool, everything will be alright with you & all of us!!!

danp said:
I am making lot of things very clear.
Click to expand...
 
danp

Dont pack you bags !
Each place has its ups and downs. No place is a bed of roses.
Once you go back, you will miss this place and then want to come back.
Get your GC and then pack your bags and go ! In this way, at least you can come back.

This retrogression will be solved. We will see some relief in the next few months. Dont give up hope ! Stay positive !!! There are worse headaches in life than waiting for GC !
 
Thanks...Guys...

Pour in your thoughts, motivation, encouragement

I need it....as I am getting confused in America

Sometimes it looks like it is a big mistake I came here at 35

and in the rat race........

One of my american friend has 200k already in 401k and he says...it is too late for me to start and build the asset...

Man....the future is going to be tough...not the GC but retirement etc

Social Security will run out and Medicare will lose steam

But it will be too late as my kids are raised here...and I cannot go back

Only GOD knows the answer.

Another thing...all my friends in Hyderabad are enjoying, earning good too...and I am in Trap.

Hopefully God will take me out....and show me the light
 
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