Friday Quotes For The TGIF Crowd

U

Upstate_NY

Registered Users (C)
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

You can only go as far as you push.

Actions speak louder than words.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.

Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it.

A BEST FRIEND is like a four-leaf clover, HARD TO FIND and LUCKY TO HAVE.

Some people make the world SPECIAL just by being in it.

BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us.

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your BEST FRIEND will be there.

TRUE FRIENDSHIP "NEVER" ENDS. Friends are FOREVER.

Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.

Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.

What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

Most people walk in and out of your life, but ONLY FRIENDS LEAVE FOOTPRINTS IN YOUR HEART.

“I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”
 
Look buddy

People here want funny stuff.

We dont want any mushy stuff... we are already in a lot of pain :(

Cheers:)
 
Subject: Zomething Funny

Subject: Zomething Funny


Tamils are always proud to be Tamizhs; Pretty
courteous (that is
what they think, at least!). They speak yenglish but
sorry, no indi
(Hindi). The more common Madarasi (chennaisi...,now?)
is an ardent fan of
kireeket matches.

Their counterparts in Bombay think they live in
America but speak Hinglish like ...are you sure ki
Sujata aa rahi hai ya Ill go akela!"
And they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in
Hindi Grammar. The
BEST hypocrites in the world.

Thamizhs, are verrry lecky to have "simble"
neighbours in the keralites who are a komblex race of
peoblle (they migrated around 2000 B.C. from the
middle east, I guess; and now even the Sheikhs feel
wary of them) but they have excellent GK , eat a lot
of chooclyte and own 99.998765% of tyre shops in the
world and form 99% of nursing community.

Not far begind the kerals is the telugu desam, who are
totally againesht
flaunting their wealthu to the woruldu, though they
occasionally come out
withu brick red shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with
pleetsu (fleet).
Worustu,no?! But they (think) are greatu in
CICSu,Microsu and COBOLu!
Generally sane peoplesu (and so you can always findu
them judgingu,
probhingu, queschioningu othersu ...)

The Canadians, excuse me, the Kannadigas aor (are) the
coolest lat
dobun south but if there is political unrest in
Hersogovnia oare (or) an
ebola virus outbreak in Zaire, they bash up the Tamils
in Karnataka.
Cauvery very bad! When it comes to Rajkumar (actor),
if a fly sits on
his nose, theyll burn the entire city of Benglore to
kill the fly! To
hell with Silicon valley! I-ron, firshtu, girlu, Lasht
Bussu, roadu,
crickeatu, filamu are some of their favourites.

Maharashtrians are a conservative, confused,complex
lot-kar. -Kar, that
is because gavasakar, tendulkar, bahulkar,.. confused
that is because
sitting in southern part of India they would ask the
other person "are you
from Maharashtra or from south India..?" and genuinely
wonder why the
other person takes some time to answer the question.
They like the principles of pheejix and their
favourite character
in the alphabet is Zay (god knows where that came
from). Although
soft, peace loving people but they elect the shivsena
to rule them.

And right there next to the Maharashtrians are the
Gujjubhais. They like
to keep kes in the benk and their favourite past
time is eating
snakes like paav bhaji, masala papad and pijja
at the local snake
bar. They gobble down palak sev like their life
depends on it and believe
in the brotherhood and sisterhood of man and
woman(everybody is a bhai
or a ben).

If you go further eesht, you land uf Udissa- the land
of irron (r
unsilent) where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big
towns. The people
are bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill
soorly ask you B or
Bhe. They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally
bawsh their phace at
the wasbashin. James Bond Mohanty in our colleze had a
roll nomber
jero,jero,sebhen.

Bengalees are bery bery similor, but or bery proud oph
Subas Chondro
Boash and Shoatyojit Roy (I used to know a director by
name Satyajit Ray
who was also pretty good) and everybody is Xda. I
used to havbe a friend
by name. Dada. Wonder...never mind. Bot I most
conphess, Roshgollas are
bery goooood, tho!

Bihari kids are supposed to be the smartest kids in
India (if not in the
universe!). How we wish they grow up the same
way,...but... And Biharees
are bery phond of Laloo and Ranchi, ka isse bhadiya
tumre pass kooch hai,
kaa?! spit spit...

UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool and
istudying metals to make
lots of ishteel.

Punjabis are very sweet and aggressive and offerRotti
Shotti Khayega!
to which I once replied No. He said Tage itu,yaar!
By Godu!
Surjeetu, what happenedu, oi?!. Then of
course,everybodys a paappe
or a kaakke. Thats Pnjab for you.

And Kashmir (called Cashmir by many, may be because
of the amount of
cash spent to keep it in India)?!? I know Roja (or
Roza?)was shot (I
mean filmed) somewhere nearby...

But at the end of the day, wherever you are in the
world, whether it is in Sunnyvale, CA;Birmingham,UK;
UmmAl Quwain, UAE or Serangoon Road,Singapore, ask
them who they are and youll get just one answer -
INDIANS
 
Upstate_NY

Very very touching stuff, made me Nostalgic reminding me of my Friends back home.

By the way I am a litt le confused by the first quote, that ends with TEAR.

Now is that Tear a Saline Solution that flows from ones Eyes, in times of distress, pain or sorrow.

Or is it The Tear/Rupture of a certain Tissue.

:D :D :D :D :D
 
I don't know why but I liked this "product placement".
 
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Confucius says

Woman who go to man's apartment for snack, gets tit-bit.
Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth.
Man who gets kicked in balls, left holding the bag.
Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
Passionate kiss like spider web ... lead to undoing of fly.
Man with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day.
Man who argue with wife all day get no piece at night.
Virginity like balloon ... one prick, all gone.
Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.
He who farts in church, sits in own pew.
Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!
Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Man with penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.
Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
Man who go to bed with question of sex on mind wake up with solution well in hand.
Girl who do back spring on bedspring have offspring next spring
Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.
A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Elevator smell different to midget.
Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.
Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard.
A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
Man who smoke pot choke on handle.
Ok for shit to happen . . . will decompose.
Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!
It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there!
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!
Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!
War not determine who's right, war determines who's left.
Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
Wife who put man in dog house find him in cat house.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.
Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.
Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth.
Man and mouse alike, both end up in pussy.
Man who sucks nipples make clean breast of things.
Man who snatches kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.
Girl who douches with vinegar walk around with sour puss.
He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
Man who have head up ass, have shitty outlook on life.
Man who have hand in pocket not just jingling change.
A streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.
Man who stand on toilet, must be high on pot.
Man who have hand in pockets, not crazy, just feeling nuts.
If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.
Confucius say too God damn much!
 
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Life has now been explained

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to
field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to
live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day
by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain
people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I
don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play,
have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty
years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what,
I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play,
have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Life has now been explained.
 
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get
her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll, she came
upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

The gentleman responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the
same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice
a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best. One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"

"No" she replied, "but ... ( scroll down)






























my cucumbers are enormous."
 
Learn Chinese...

...with these Chinese translations.

Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding?
Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan
Do you know lyrics to the Macarena? - Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?
He is a fat man - Wun Fat Gai
He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
I got this for free - Ai No Pei
I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat
I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?
It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?
Meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai You Kum Nao
Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?
See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
Stay out of sight - Lei Lo
Stupid Man - Dum Gai
That was an unauthorized execution - Lin Ching
They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum
This is a tow away zone - No Pah King
You are not very bright - Yu So Dum
Your price is too high!!! - No Bai Dam Thing!!
 
Hey FutureGen1... ur Zomething Funny Humor sucks..

Dude... better come up with some better humor. Your humor suck
 
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