There is something from getting frustrated when you even didn't start the process to just stay and thinking that the process should change when is not gonna happen today neither tomorrow or in a year. I answered you about the drug thing, even you didn't get convicted, you got arrested with drug charges. For them, even you are not convicted every officer can look at it in their own terms (I got the explanation by a law enforcement persons). I am not saying that you are doom man, but since is not shoplifting it was drug related you should talk as everybody here told you, you should contact a lawyer, plus since you have so many doubts and fears the lawyer can explain you in general what things are do and dont's in your specific case okay?
Must of us understand you perfectly,but well is that the music they want to play so learn it and be proactive, don't let that some BS give you a hard time. This is not necessary the worst situation that you could be. Take this to strength your character.
You must consider what your wife wants too and she should know what are your frustrations and talk about it if it's really worth the effort. Actually since she is the USC she can go to the Consulate and make calls to USCIS and probably get a better result from it. The worst thing can happen is that you must go back to Canada because they don't accept you right? So what you going to loose? nothing! anyway you are not dying to go to the US.
As we explained to you before if you Adjust your Status (inside the US) you can apply for Advance Parole that is the travel document so you can go back and forth to visit your mother. If you go by Consular Processing you go to the US until you get approved for your permanent visa.
I wish you all the luck, it is frutrated, we know that they can do better. But getting upset and frustrated before start getting the information, reading it before make a move is worthless. Nobody can tell you something that many of us will like to hear that will take less than 6 months! and many of use start this process way before you and we are here, hanging in there.
God bless you all,