Can I Dare??
- Thread starter july16
- Start date
phoaupkari
Registered Users (C)
In case July16's wife read his post and got mad at him ...here's to her
A man leaves for work one Friday afternoon. It is payday, so instead
of going home, he stays out the entire weekend partying with the boys
and spending his paycheck.
When he finally appears at home on Sunday night, his angry wife
confronts him and harangues him for nearly two hours with a tirade.
Finally, she stops the nagging and says, "How would you like it if
you didn't see me for two or three days?"
"That would be fine with me," he says.
Monday goes by and he doesn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday come and go, and he still doesn't see her.
On Thursday, the swelling goes down just enough so that he can see her
out of the corner of his left eye.
A man leaves for work one Friday afternoon. It is payday, so instead
of going home, he stays out the entire weekend partying with the boys
and spending his paycheck.
When he finally appears at home on Sunday night, his angry wife
confronts him and harangues him for nearly two hours with a tirade.
Finally, she stops the nagging and says, "How would you like it if
you didn't see me for two or three days?"
"That would be fine with me," he says.
Monday goes by and he doesn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday come and go, and he still doesn't see her.
On Thursday, the swelling goes down just enough so that he can see her
out of the corner of his left eye.
addition to july16's post
A Man is INCOMPLETE before his marriage,
After the marriage he is FINISHED.
----------------------------------------------------------
A Man gave an ad. in the matrimonial column
'..Wanted a Wife...'
Next day, he got thousands of replies..
'You can have mine'
---------------------------------------------------------
A Man is INCOMPLETE before his marriage,
After the marriage he is FINISHED.
----------------------------------------------------------
A Man gave an ad. in the matrimonial column
'..Wanted a Wife...'
Next day, he got thousands of replies..
'You can have mine'
---------------------------------------------------------
phoaupkari
Registered Users (C)
july16
sorry I dd not sympathize with you , but it wasn't my intention to give your wife any ideas either
I was just responding to ur previous statement
sorry I dd not sympathize with you , but it wasn't my intention to give your wife any ideas either
I was just responding to ur previous statement
Originally posted by july16
Sorry, but that was a Married man's prespective.
Maybe you can show us the other side of the coin
Another one
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails.
Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me." He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place. They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around. It got so hot and heavy, that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out there.
At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time.
He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said: "Come on guys, we're almost there!"
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails.
Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me." He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place. They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around. It got so hot and heavy, that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out there.
At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time.
He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said: "Come on guys, we're almost there!"
WheresMahGreen
Registered Users (C)
Re: Another one
Hehehe! That was a good one.
How about a Little Johnny?
Little Johnny is at school one fine day dreaming away to glory during a math class. Noticing this, the teacher decides to bring his attention back to the class with a question. So she asks him, "Johnny, if there were 100 birds perched on a tree and I shoot one, how many would be left?" Johnny replies, "None, teacher! All the other birds will be scared away by the sound of the gun shot." Smiling, the teacher says, "No, Johnny, there'd be 99 birds left. But I like the way you think."
"But teacher, " says Little Johnny, " I have a question for you..." On hearing this, the teacher starts feeling uncomfortable as she knows how notoriously Little Johnny's little devilish brain works. Putting up a brave face in front of her class, she asks him to go ahead with his question. Little Johnny asks the teacher, "There are three women sitting at a park bench and eating icecream. One of them is scooping it up using a spoon, the other is biting through the cone and the third is relishing the icecream by scooping each helping with her tongue. Which one of them do you think is married?" The teacher turns red when she hears the question but goes on to reply, "The one who is licking and scooping the icecream with her tongue." Little Johnny, with a devilish look on his face, says, "No, teacher, it is the one wearing the ring! But I like the way you think!!"
Hehehe! That was a good one.
How about a Little Johnny?
Little Johnny is at school one fine day dreaming away to glory during a math class. Noticing this, the teacher decides to bring his attention back to the class with a question. So she asks him, "Johnny, if there were 100 birds perched on a tree and I shoot one, how many would be left?" Johnny replies, "None, teacher! All the other birds will be scared away by the sound of the gun shot." Smiling, the teacher says, "No, Johnny, there'd be 99 birds left. But I like the way you think."
"But teacher, " says Little Johnny, " I have a question for you..." On hearing this, the teacher starts feeling uncomfortable as she knows how notoriously Little Johnny's little devilish brain works. Putting up a brave face in front of her class, she asks him to go ahead with his question. Little Johnny asks the teacher, "There are three women sitting at a park bench and eating icecream. One of them is scooping it up using a spoon, the other is biting through the cone and the third is relishing the icecream by scooping each helping with her tongue. Which one of them do you think is married?" The teacher turns red when she hears the question but goes on to reply, "The one who is licking and scooping the icecream with her tongue." Little Johnny, with a devilish look on his face, says, "No, teacher, it is the one wearing the ring! But I like the way you think!!"
Brain Teaser Please no Cheating
Brain Teaser
Read this sentence:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE- SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF- IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now count aloud the ' F' s in that sentence.
Count them ONLY ONCE; do not go back and count them again.
Then see below..
. Answer below (scroll down) ...
ANSWER:
There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds
three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you
got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six,
you are a genius. There is no catch. Many people forget the OFs. The
human brain tends to see them as "V's" instead of "F's".
Brain Teaser
Read this sentence:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE- SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF- IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now count aloud the ' F' s in that sentence.
Count them ONLY ONCE; do not go back and count them again.
Then see below..
. Answer below (scroll down) ...
ANSWER:
There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds
three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you
got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six,
you are a genius. There is no catch. Many people forget the OFs. The
human brain tends to see them as "V's" instead of "F's".
lamborghini
Registered Users (C)
you guys asked for this..
What the heck, it's a friday
A first standard teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first standard. My sister is in the third standard and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third standard too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first standard and behave. The teacher agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third standard should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third standard."
The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.
The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question! Harry "Pockets." Now no reactions or special face symbols on Harry's face. He was so cool!
Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T,is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid ?
Harry: Coconut.
The principal's eyes open really wide, Harry was taking charge.
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky ?
Harry:Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog on three legs? Harry: Shake hands
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, answer me.
Harry:Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do?.
Harry: tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
Principal was looking restless and bit tensed.
Harry: wedding ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me,you feel good.
Harry: nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: arrow
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth standard, I missed the last ten questions myself."
What the heck, it's a friday
A first standard teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first standard. My sister is in the third standard and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third standard too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first standard and behave. The teacher agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third standard should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third standard."
The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.
The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question! Harry "Pockets." Now no reactions or special face symbols on Harry's face. He was so cool!
Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T,is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid ?
Harry: Coconut.
The principal's eyes open really wide, Harry was taking charge.
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky ?
Harry:Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog on three legs? Harry: Shake hands
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, answer me.
Harry:Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do?.
Harry: tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
Principal was looking restless and bit tensed.
Harry: wedding ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me,you feel good.
Harry: nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: arrow
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth standard, I missed the last ten questions myself."