im paranoid about visiting him..theres no kidnapping or crazy stuff going on but guys like i said he throws this line in my face way too much about how the kids r only his and not mine..he said the kids belong to the father only the mother is nothing,,yet hes 31 and lives at home with his mom and doesnt want to leave her..he fights with me over her and yet the little kids who need their mom (me)..to him he thinks mothers r not important when it comes to his own kids,
What kind of relationship you have with your husband is not anyone's business including mine, but given what you have mentioned here as to what is going on in your marriage then I can bet that this relationship will end...one way or another...sooner or later...
Besides, what kinda woman wants to stay with a man who is telling her that children belongs to only him; and what kind woman wants to stay with a man when she is too paranoid to even visit her own husband. Things are so bad here, which are hard to patch up. I know people often defend their spouse by saying that their spouse is good but doing so because s/he is lately so stressed, or by saying that "I love him/her so much", or "we will work things out", but the fact is- sooner or later their relationship ends... but obviously with more pain and drama. Anyway, it's your life and your choice.
As for who will get the custody of children then neither immigration laws nor immigration status of anyone play any part in deciding the custody matter, instead family laws of your state come in the picture. Both parties are parents of children. Your husband doesn't need to be here to fight for his right or anything else because he can hire an divorce attorney over here while being in his country if he knows this and if his finacial situation warrants him. Both parties are free to file for divorce at places where they are living, but once one party files a divorce complaint then other party cannot file another petition for the divorce. That being said, if you file a divorce complaint here in the United States before him then the case will be proceeded here because the family court in your place would have a jurisdiction over your case, while the family court in your country has no jurisdiction over you even though you are still a citizen of your home country. Same goes to your husband. If he files a divorce complaint first in his country then proceeding will be held in there, and you will be forced to fight your rights over there than here even if you become a US citizen and your children are US citizen.
In order to award child custody, courts normally look at many factors, such as who is a best parent, who is financially able to take care of the children, and if there is any abuse history on the part of any prospectus parents, etc...Nevertheless, 96% of the time wives get the custody of the children. If both parents are unable to take care of children, because of either lack of financial means or other reasons, then state will take the children away. Further, you will need to keep in consideration the laws of your home country as well because some countries require family matters to resolve in their home country regardless whether parties have become a naturalized citizen in other country.
Good luck...
