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Who can help me? Marriage!!!!!!!!

G

Guythom

New Member
Hello Folks,

I'm having a terrible time with my wife over here in the US. We won the lottery and migrated to the USA. We've been married for almost 3 years now. Upon reaching here, her behaviour has changed drastically. She has copied foreign culture and doesn't give me respect anymore. She was the principal applicant though.

She wants a divorce. What procedure should l follow. Do we have to divorce here in the US or go back to home country? What proceedure should I follow after the divorce? Do I change my marrital status from married to divorced in my records in US? Will there be any complications? What happens when l re-marry and want my new wife to join me.

Does anybody has such experience? I'm confused. This lady is getting on my nerves.

Folks, your immediate responses will be very much appreciated. Thank you all in advance.
 
Guythom said:
Hello Folks,

I'm having a terrible time with my wife over here in the US. We won the lottery and migrated to the USA. We've been married for almost 3 years now. Upon reaching here, her behaviour has changed drastically. She has copied foreign culture and doesn't give me respect anymore. She was the principal applicant though.

She wants a divorce. What procedure should l follow. Do we have to divorce here in the US or go back to home country? What proceedure should I follow after the divorce? Do I change my marrital status from married to divorced in my records in US? Will there be any complications? What happens when l re-marry and want my new wife to join me.

Does anybody has such experience? I'm confused. This lady is getting on my nerves.

Folks, your immediate responses will be very much appreciated. Thank you all in advance.
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I think you might be able to get a divorce here in the states. Divorcing her will not affect ur immigration status in the U.S. And probably by the time u decide to remarry, u must have become a US citizen which would make it alot easier to bring whoever it is you want to marry over here. Again, u might want to work out things with ur wife. divorce is a mess. Do you have kids?
 
Guythom said:
Hello Folks,

I'm having a terrible time with my wife over here in the US. We won the lottery and migrated to the USA. We've been married for almost 3 years now. Upon reaching here, her behaviour has changed drastically. She has copied foreign culture and doesn't give me respect anymore. She was the principal applicant though.

She wants a divorce. What procedure should l follow. Do we have to divorce here in the US or go back to home country? What proceedure should I follow after the divorce? Do I change my marrital status from married to divorced in my records in US? Will there be any complications? What happens when l re-marry and want my new wife to join me.

Does anybody has such experience? I'm confused. This lady is getting on my nerves.

Folks, your immediate responses will be very much appreciated. Thank you all in advance.
Click to expand...

Hmmmmmmmmmmm . proper marriage or marriage of convinience. It should be easy for you to divorce in the USA if you so wish. But if this is a proper marriage then you realy need too give it a serious thought especially if you have kids.If it's one of those marriages for the sake of GC then you can go ahead.You haven't divorced yet you are dreaming of going to bring someone else from your home country(funny huh??).Hmmmm all the best of luck.
 
abeku66 said:
Hmmmmmmmmmmm . proper marriage or marriage of convinience. It should be easy for you to divorce in the USA if you so wish. But if this is a proper marriage then you realy need too give it a serious thought especially if you have kids.If it's one of those marriages for the sake of GC then you can go ahead.You haven't divorced yet you are dreaming of going to bring someone else from your home country(funny huh??).Hmmmm all the best of luck.
Click to expand...

good point abeku66. Seems like a marriage of convinience like u pointed out.
 
Ok suggesting this is a marriage of convenience seems ridiculous. First of all the person seeking the divorce is the principal applicant so being married is irrelevant in this case. Secondly, they have been married for 3 years so no one could have predicted winning the DV lottery.

Finally, getting a divorce does not affect your status as permanent resident.
 
What strikes me is: if you so much dislike American culture, why did you come here? To me it sounds like you want to enjoy more freedom or whatever here in the US, but you don't want that your wife (the one to whom your married now or the one who you intend to marry later) does the same.
 
@Guythom:

Moving to a foreign country and a new culture is stressful and it puts many difficulties and pressures even on a strong relationship. And yes, people change, and both partners have to accept that both will change as a result of new situation and new stresses. You have to be prepared for bad times in the first years.

May I suggest to you that you find local leaders from your culture and/or religion, who can provide you with some counselling. They will know how things are 'back home' as well as 'over here' and can perhaps give you and your wife a way to find common ground again. Divorce should not be the first step. Likely your wife does not really want a divorce, she is just frustrated.

Over here 'respect' is a more complicated issue. I think that the culture here places more value on BOTH partners getting 'respect' and contributing equally to the partnership. Women here don't respect their partners less, but they expect a more active role in the relationship and the household. There are advantages to the husband for this too.
 
claire08 makes some very good points. Moving to another country is very stressful even within countries with similar cultures. I found moving from Australia to UK very different. My mother is Scottish and my family even lived in UK for a while when I was a child so I thought it would be easy. But until you build a support group and make new friends it is very hard.

Guythom, you don't say how long you have been in the US. The first year living in a new country is very difficult, and you are two different people trying to cope with this new life. If you haven't tried talking to couples who have been through this situation, or as claire08 suggests - asking for guidance by others from your culture and/or religion please try this before taking such drastic action as divorce.
 
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