Your pending I-485 - is this an employment or family based AOS?
If it's an employment based I-485 and it's not approved yet, can't the OP just add the spouse as a deriviative and just file a I-485 based on the OP's approved I-140? (I'm not sure, but I thought I'd thrown that option out there to the experts)
If it's a family based I-485 - your marriage might have caused extra complications to your own application. We'd need more details on your case before we could comment further.
TNguy78 is right about the employment based 485. The only addition to that is that the beneficiary's PD must be current as per visa bulletin before she can submit the 485 for her derivative.
Should my husband's I-485 petition be based on my pending I-485, i.e. copy of receipt, or on my approved 140? He didn't file 140 with me(I didn't file for him when I did my 140) . Thanks!