Tgif :)

H

hedgehog

Registered Users (C)
> HU'S ON FIRST
> > > By James Sherman
> > >
> > > (We take you now to the Oval Office.)
> > >
> > > George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
> > > Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new
> > > leader of China.
> > >
> > > George: Great. Lay it on me.
> > > Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
> > > George: That's what I want to know.
> > > Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
> > > George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new
> > > leader of China?
> > > Condi: Yes.
> > > George: I mean the fellow's name.
> > > Condi: Hu.
> > > George: The guy in China.
> > > Condi: Hu.
> > > George: The new leader of China.
> > > Condi: Hu.
> > > George: The Chinaman!
> > > Condi: Hu is leading China.
> > > George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
> > > Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
> > > George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
> > > Condi: That's the man's name.
> > > George: That's who's name?
> > > Condi: Yes.
> > > George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of
> > > the new leader
> > > of China?
> > > Condi: Yes, sir.
> > > George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I
> > > thought he was in the Middle East.
> > > Condi: That's correct.
> > > George: Then who is in China?
> > > Condi: Yes, sir.
> > > George: Yassir is in China?
> > > Condi: No, sir.
> > > George: Then who is?
> > > Condi: Yes, sir.
> > > George: Yassir?
> > > Condi: No, sir.
> > > George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the
> > > new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of
> > > the U.N. on the phone.
> > > Condi: Kofi?
> > > George: No, thanks.
> > > Condi: You want Kofi?
> > > George: No.
> > > Condi: You don't want Kofi.
> > > George: No. But now that you mention it, I could
> > > use a glass of
> > > milk. And then get me the U.N.
> > > Condi: Yes, sir.
> > > George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
> > > Condi: Kofi?
> > > George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
> > > Condi: And call who?
> > > George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
> > > Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
> > > George: Will you stay out of China?!
> > > Condi: Yes, sir.
> > > George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get
> > > me the guy at the U.N.
> > > Condi: Kofi.
> > > George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now
> > > get on the phone.
> > > (Condi picks up the phone.)
> > > Condi: Rice, here.
> > > George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg
> > > rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in
> > > China. And the Middle East. Can you
> > > get Chinese food in the Middle East?
> > >
 
damn!

That was funny. I cant stop laughing. I have tears in my eyes.

Thanks man
happy friday

fisa
 
Humor Is Best

HI Guys,

I read this joke about 3 days back and simply loved it(sorry for not posting it here earlier)... My colleagues in office who read about it, were laughing like crazy..

Conclusion: Make Laughter and Humor the Universal Language :) :)

Have a Nice Weekend..
 
Another one

The Long and Short of It

In order to develop friendly relations between India & Pakistan, Atal Behari Vajpayee and Pervez Musharraf decided to visit each other's countries. The first visit was by Vajpayee to Pakistan. There, Musharraf showed him Pakistan's modern telecommunication systems. They were so good that Vajpayee made a call to the devil in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes! The bill for the call came to only Re.1. When Vajpayee came back, he also wanted India's telecommunication systems to be at its best when Musharraf visited India. Suitable arrangements were made. Musharraf came to India, visited the telecom department and talked to Zia-ul-Haq in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs.500! Musharraf asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to hell so costly in India?" A high level diplomat replied - "From Pakistan to hell, it is a local call, Sir, while from India, it is long distance!"


Diclaimer: It is just a joke, please do not take offence.
 
Cheers

Life's Reflections

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
 
Another one

Three police squads , The Scotland Yard police , The NY Police and the Punjab Sardar brigade contest for the best police force ward . The judges lead them to the Gir forest of India and assign them the mission . He who captures an adult Lion and brings it back alive in the fastest time will be adjudged the best . First Scotland yard goes into the forest and comes back in half an hour with a Lion all tied up . Then the NY police go in and come back in 15 minutes with a tied up lion. Lastly the sardar brigade goes in . 15 minutes , half an hour , one hour goes and no sign of our saradrjis The judges give up and decide to search for them . They go into the forest . After some searching , they find the sardarjis all excitedly yelling near a tree . The sardarjis have tied up a big bear to a tree and one of them is shouting , "Bol tu sher Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher Hai !! "
 
Hi hedgehog

You got last part of it wrong :)

last part it like this


sardar brigade comes back in 5 minutes :p empty handed and just behind them an Elephant shivering and barely able to walk and saying I am Lion, I am Lion, I am Lion.... :p
 
One from US Navy

Actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations,
10-10-95:

#1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

#2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a
collision.

#1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

#1. THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE
US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

#2. This is a lighthouse. Your call.
 
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