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[whats_in_name]

Hotel for Women Only

A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5- story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women
Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them
how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor-by-floor,
and once you find what you are looking for, you can
stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a
sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign
reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain."
The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the
men here are tall and plain." They still want to do
better, and so, knowing there are still two floors
left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men
here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men
here. This floor was built only to prove that there is
no way to please a woman."

 

[whats_in_name]

Instructions on Consumer Goods


On a packet of dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (...oops, a bit late!)

On a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Yeah sure. That's the only time I have to do my hair).

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On a packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (they must be nuts!)

On a bar of soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and how would that be?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a sleeping pill cover: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (oh, I was taking this for another reason!)

On a bag of chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On packaging for an iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On a bread pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (what were they thinking?)

 

[whats_in_name]

We all must have heard of ABCD = American Born Confused Desi...

But How about an ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

American Born Confused Desi, Emigrated From Gujarat, Housed In Jersey, Keeping Lotsa Motels, Named Omkarnath Patel, Quickly Reached Success Through Underhanded Vicious Ways, Xenophobic Yet Zestful

 

[sgi]

Rulez for Girlz-from the Guyz

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive
than short hair.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - MAX. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the PLAYBOY girls, don't expect us to act
like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.