TGIF…….. A Joke for a Slow Day

[Upstate_NY]

A contest was going on in Delhi. A tent was set up and the contest organizers announced the rules. It was a survival contest. A goat with its filth was set up in the tent, unknown to most onlookers. The person able to survive and keep his sanity for 15 minutes will be declared the winner. Many enthusiastic folks stood in line under the hot sun. Each one had their chance, only to throw up and faint and then, be carried out in a stretcher. The contest continued through the day but as evening came, no one emerged from the tent on their feet.

Milka Singh, the “Flying Sikh” as known to many, was on his usual evening jogging session. Seeing the crowd and commotion, he inquired and was told about the contest. He decided to venture for more recognition.

Finally, the time came and Milka Singh proudly waved his hands to the crowd as he entered the tent. The smell was dense and suffocating but Milka Singh coolly removed the turban and sat.

Time passed by and the crowd got worried. The contest doctor went in to check. He returned and motioned for the stretcher. The crowd started to worry about their Olympic Hero. The crowds’ eyes were fixed on the stretcher as it came out.

Surprisingly, it was the goat that threw up and fainted. The turban did the trick!

 

[patienceGC]

rating

VPJ!

 

[vbk]

This is for pre-schoolers.

 

[dec11thRD]

oh man...

Good jokes please....

 

[searching_help]

Good one.

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen.
He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to
surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if
they're
intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the
Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer
this
question: "Your mother has a child, and your father has a child,and
this
child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up
and
says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman
of
the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse
Helms
to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can
answer a
question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother has a
child,
and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or
your
sister. Who is it?" Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I
think
about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. Helms
immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators,and
they
puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up
with an
answer.

Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State
Department
and explains his problem. "Now look here, son, your mother has a
child,
and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or
your
sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course,
you
idiot."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I
know
the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair."

 

[Upstate_NY]

From the previous joke:
The stench produced from the turban removal was deadlier than the foul smell of the goat filth.

Here's another:

*****************

Sherlock Holmes and Mr. Watson went on a mountain climbing expedition. With less experience in climbing, they struggled. Soon it was twilight and they decided to pitch a tent and stay overnight.

In the middle of the night, Mr.Watson was awakened by a visibly shaken Sherlock Holmes.

Confused and dazed, Mr. Watson asked as to what happened.
Sherlock Holmes replied – “What do you see?”

Mr. Watson said – “I see the clear, blue sky with all the beautiful stars. I see the great handiwork of the Almighty God in designing such a marvelous universe. I also believe that this beautiful illuminated sky will bring us good luck tomorrow. I am also amazed at how the stars radiate great light and ……….”

But before he could complete his speech, Mr. Holmes slapped him and said – “You idiot, someone stole our tent”

 

[vbk]

Oh God !!

UPSTATE_NY you are getting there ... keep going

At least this was better then earlier...