* T * G * I * F *

[sai-2367]

Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says,Hey, Dave! How ya doin? His wife is puzzled and asks if hes been to this club before.
Oh no, says Dave He is on my bowling team.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, How did she know that you drink Budweiser?
Shes in the LadiesBowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, starts to rub herself all over him and says Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4-letter word in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, Looks like you picked up a real b*tch tonight, Dave.

 

[YJay]

A little Italian man just immigrated to Australia and found a job at a grocery store to sell apples. The man did not speak English at all. The shop owner taught him three sentences.
1) "Two bobs a doz." (2 dollars a dozen) to answer the 1st question customers usually ask about the price.
2) "Some are. Some aren't" (to answer the 2nd question about quality of the apples, e.g. are they sweet/ripe?)
3) "If you don't someone else will." (in response to customers not buying and mumbling something like "I don't think I'll buy" on their way out).


A big, tough looking local man with tattoos all over his body passed by the store, "Hi mate, hava ya got the time?"
Little man: "Two bobs a doz."

Big man (confused and irritated): "Are you trying to be smart?"
Little man: "Some are. Some aren't."

Big man (angry): "I really want to punch you at your nose!"
Little man: "If you don't someone else will."