Spouse going through immigration, do I have to inform USCIS about child i gave up for adoption?

[libyalove]

As a kid of 18, I had a child who I gave up for adoption. The biological father also surrendered his rights to the state. I signed the first set of papers the day of his birth and finalized my decision 30 days later. This is a closed process, I cannot find information about the child and the child cannot find information about me. Because of the emotional stress this caused me, I never spoke of it to anyone, including my own family (they don't know). It is now almost ten years later. I have been married for a year, to a man that I love dearly. We have a great life together and everything is as near perfect as possible. We just received notice of our immigration interview for next month (I am an American citizen, he is obviously not). I have not told him about this part of my life, though I have seriously debated it. I decided not to tell him because at one point, he told me that the past makes us who we are and nothing I could have done in my past would affect our relationship...but I'm still worried that this is the one thing that COULD ruin our marriage, so I have kept it secret. When I was reviewing the appointment letter, I noticed an area that said basically to bring custody papers of any child of either party. So here's where I begin to go into panic mode....do I have to tell immigrations about this, since I have never had custody of the child? Would they somehow inform my husband? And if I have to have documentation of surrendering my rights to the state, I have an even bigger problem....my copy of the documents was destroyed in devastation from a major hurricane. I also kind of feel that this would be an invasion of my privacy, a privacy which I thought was guaranteed through the closed adoption I requested. Any help, please, I am completely torn up and constantly thinking about this!

 

[namecheckvictim]

You have to disclose everything in the interview as you are put under oath and fill up forms under penalty of perjury, you may call it invasion of privacy but the Government has the right and will require you to be forth coming with the application process, not disclosing it will be perjuring yourself and lying under oath both of which will seriously jeopardize his application and your credibility of the marriage.
On the emotional side I totally understand the situation but if the very foundation of a relationship is based upon hiding very important facts of your previous life and is based on lies do you think that relationship will be strong enough to go thru the ups and downs of life?
If you truly believe he loves you, he should love you and cherish you for what you are now and not consider what you were.
You should tell him everything not because of the fear of immigration folks will tell him but because you want to be honest and expect the same in return.

 

[Jackolantern]

This is an interesting question ... a child given up for adoption is not legally yours, so maybe you are not required to list that child on the immigration forms. Or maybe you are. Let me do a bit of research and get back to you.

 

[Jackolantern]

From what I'm seeing, it seems that you should have listed the child on the naturalization application if you are a naturalized citizen.

But looking at the green card forms, I don't see anywhere that you as the US citizen sponsor need to list children that are neither living with you nor otherwise dependent on you, nor been sponsored for immigration by you. The I-130 only asks for the immigrant's children, not your own children, unless the children have been previously sponsored by you. The I-864 only requires listing children that you are sponsoring or are part of your household. The G-325A doesn't ask for children at all. So far, it looks like you don't need to mention or acknowledge the existence of that child for the green card process.

 

[libyalove]

long story short, before i received any replies, i ended up telling my husband. i don't consider not telling him "basing my relationship on lies", as previously we had both agreed that the past makes a person who they are and that we would not ask each other about the past or focus on anything in the other's life before our relationship (he initiated this conversation, it wasn't a ploy on my part to keep this hidden for life, but it sure made not telling him a lot more convenient...ok, bad choice). needless to say, it threw him for a loop for a few minutes, and he told me that if I hadn't told him, he would never have known, but he's happy that I opened up to him. Not too pleased about the news, but he actually was supportive and caring once the shock value wore off a little. It is a huge weight off of me as I've struggled internally for months on whether or not I should tell him. I'm ecstatic that he now has "seen" my worst and loves me the same. Any ideas on my lack of documentation? I lost everything five years ago in the aftermath of a storm. I replaced all of my sensitive documents (my birth certificate, etc.) but never attempted to locate a copy of surrendering my rights. At the time, it was inconceivable that I would ever need it, and I have no idea where I would need to go to get a copy of it....???

 

[Al Southner]

Congrats on telling your husband the real truth about your past on the child front. I am glad to read that he's supportive. You might have to do to Dept of Social Services in your state, provide your SSN and request duplicate copies. I also agree with Jack, you don't have to list the child because you gave it up within the first 30 days and has never lived with you. For documentation, start with the Dept of Social Welfare or Child Service, be clear the purpose you are seeking these documents for. Since the child can't contact you, then you want to explain them that you aren't on mission to try to locate the child, because maybe you developed second thoughts about giving the child up. Indicate you just want to replace lost records, end it there. Good luck to you.

 

[Jackolantern]

Any ideas on my lack of documentation? I lost everything five years ago in the aftermath of a storm. I replaced all of my sensitive documents (my birth certificate, etc.) but never attempted to locate a copy of surrendering my rights. At the time, it was inconceivable that I would ever need it, and I have no idea where I would need to go to get a copy of it....???

You still don't need it. You have no obligation to tell USCIS about the child. Legally, this child isn't and wasn't yours, and you are a citizen so USCIS doesn't have the right to delve into this kind of private/sealed records for you (if you were a noncitizen applying for citizenship, or your immigrant husband was the one with the surrendered child, it might be a different story).

But just make sure you and your husband are on the same page in the interview. If the interviewer asks about your children, you both need to give the same answer whether it is yes or no. Of course, if you say yes you may need to provide the document.