Spam: Tgif

R

roran

Registered Users (C)
I was thinking of posting some fun in this forum after a really long, long time. May this Year bring a lot of prosperity and joy in everyone's life. Please forgive me if you do not want to read immigration unrelated info. You should have read SPAM in the subject itself.:)
Now for today's joke:

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."

He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix
the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."

"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."

To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead?
I don't think so."

"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."

"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!"

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is
working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was
either screw him or bake him a cake."

He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

She replied, "Hellooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"
:D
 
In the BIG city

A Kentucky family took a holiday to New York City.

For an adventure the father took his son to see a skyscraper. They were amazed by everything they saw - especially the elevator at one end of the lobby.

The boy asked,
'What's that there, Paw?'

The father responded,
'Well son, I reckon I never did see nothing like this in my entire life. I got no darned idea what it is.'

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up.

They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened again and a voluptuous 24-year-old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said,
'Go git your Maw.'
:D
 
Originally posted by gambler
Technically correct!!!
A helicopter was flying above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it up in the helicopter window.
The pilot's sign said, "Where am I?" in large letters.
The people in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it to the window of their building.
Their sign read, "You are in a helicopter."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at the map, determined the course to steer to the SEATAC airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how the "You are in a helicopter" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the Microsoft building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer!"
Click to expand...

Then next time again same pilot lost in the space of Vermont. This time again he put banner sign "Where am I?" in large letters
The people in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it to the window of their building.
Wait for 600 to 999 days. and Fortunately the the pilot was waiting his GC. So He know where he was.
 
pilots wating for GC

IT is nice to know us is importing pilots and putting them through I485 process :)-.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top