Serious Help! Marrying a female US citizen pregnant from another man.

I

immiman

New Member
I met this girl a while back and we have really fallen deep in love. When i met her, she wasn't aware she was pregnant. We had not even started dating at that time. However, she later found out and told me she was pregnant just about a month before we started dating. It was hard for me to accept the situation but i still loved her so much and she loves me back. She has never been married, and the father of the unborn baby is her ex boyfriend. We've dated a number of months even with the pregnancy so I proposed to marry her a few days ago and she agreed. I have accepted to look after the child like its my own child. We plan on getting married and she wants me to establish my permanent residence because i am in the USA on a visa. I have been told marrying a woman with a baby that ain't yours raises a lot of suspicion and scrutiny. How do i proof my marriage is bonafide when my name is not listed on the birth certificate as the father of the child?
I really need help. Any ideas?
 
Dear Seal,

The same kind of documents everyone else provides, LOTS more of it. Also perhaps if you go for her doctors appointments etc connected with the pregnancy, get some documentation of it.

Good luck!

Examples of proof:

i. Joint Bank Statement from Bank of ______ with payroll direct deposit for both
ii. Car Insurance naming both parties from _________ Insurance
iii. Life Insurance by xxx and yyy naming each other as beneficiaries
iv. 401k Account Forms with each other as Beneficiaries
v. xxx's IRA Statement naming yyy as Sole Beneficiary
vi. Notarized Will by both xxx and yyy naming each other as Beneficiaries
vii. Photo of Bank of _________ Credit Card in both names for the same account and letter confirming joint usage from Bank of __________
viii. Electric/Gas Utility Bills in both xxx and yyys name
ix. Cable Bills in both xxx and yyys name
x. Statement of Account from _______ Charity to xxx and yyy concerning our $$$/month sponsorship of x children.
 
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immiman said:
I met this girl a while back and we have really fallen deep in love. When i met her, she wasn't aware she was pregnant. We had not even started dating at that time. However, she later found out and told me she was pregnant just about a month before we started dating. It was hard for me to accept the situation but i still loved her so much and she loves me back. She has never been married, and the father of the unborn baby is her ex boyfriend. We've dated a number of months even with the pregnancy so I proposed to marry her a few days ago and she agreed. I have accepted to look after the child like its my own child. We plan on getting married and she wants me to establish my permanent residence because i am in the USA on a visa. I have been told marrying a woman with a baby that ain't yours raises a lot of suspicion and scrutiny. How do i proof my marriage is bonafide when my name is not listed on the birth certificate as the father of the child?
I really need help. Any ideas?
Click to expand...

You are going to have a tough time proving it is not a relationship of convinience...for immigration puposes rather than an actual relationship...I would suggest at least a consultation with an attorney
 
Forget about the immigration aspect ... just look at the train wreck you're driving yourself into! She's rushing to marry you because she wants somebody to play the role of her baby's father. And you're thinking of rushing to marry her because of your immigration status. At least let the baby be born and have her work out the custody issues before you marry her and get entangled in a legal nightmare.
 
In many states the husband at the time of a birth is the presumed father. It is not possible to simply not put a name on a birth certificate in such a case. The biological father will need to step up according to legal procedures in order for the child to not be yours. Once it is yours, you are responsible for its support even after a divorce unless paternity is disestablished. So if you do not want to be the baby's daddy, do not marry until after it is born. And even then, you will have to deal with coparenting; you will not be the child's parent and all the hassles that entales.

Don't think about marrying until you consult an attorney.
 
Train wreck is right ! But if you are really sure you want to go down this path with her .Then the one thing you can do is be there when the baby is born and when they ask who the father is just say I am the father.

Be forewarned though in the event things fall apart between the two of you .You will still be liable for taking care of that child. You can get test done later on and so forth but that is a costly and very rough road .

All around though this just sounds like a BAD IDEA.
 
matt1256 said:
Train wreck is right ! But if you are really sure you want to go down this path with her .Then the one thing you can do is be there when the baby is born and when they ask who the father is just say I am the father.

Be forewarned though in the event things fall apart between the two of you .You will still be liable for taking care of that child. You can get test done later on and so forth but that is a costly and very rough road .

All around though this just sounds like a BAD IDEA.
Click to expand...
at least not that cool idea.
 
i dont understand all these baseless accusations and attacks against immiman. you dont know anything about him or how real their relationship is; you are just making prejudiced assumptions. shame on you. immiman, i agree with ananga's advice. i wouldnt sweat it too much as long as you have enough evidence and you know each other very well. if you are confident you can answer all the questions that the immigration officer might ask you in a stokes interview, you shouldnt worry too much. there are many more complicated cases than yours that pass with no problem. but of course, if you can afford it, consult your local attorney. although, based on what you've said, i wouldnt get an attorney. its pretty simple case if thats the only issue you have. marrying someone with a baby does not automatically mean you are in a fraud marriage; however, it may raise a red flag for IOs. especially if you get a jerk type. so i'd prepare this case as if im going in for stokes interview. good luck!
 
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