Problem In India, Pls Help!!!

Re: God Bless Wow GC ...

Originally posted by peekayem
God Bless Wow GC ..
this is a perfect example of "Free Speech" without knowing the actual story and drawing decisive conclusions from a few lines of online msgs!! You've been a real friend!! Again ..
God Bless You!
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I don't know whether God is going to bless wowGC(though his posting is emotional, his views are correct), you need more blessing not from god but from your mother.

From your posting only I cannot draw any conclustion whether you're guilty or not(and that is not my business too), but I would say this much. No mother wants to be left alone when her better half is dead and please do not blame your job situations as you stated in the first post. No boss in the world is cruel enough not to grant vacation for that difficult time.

You can still visit for a week and console your mother and take care certain things as other friends in this forum suggested. Even if 485 is approved in your absence, you can go through legal process to reenter this country.

To tell you honestly, I never indulge in the controversial posts and give my opinion. I am very sorry for the situation you are facing rightnow and wish you everything will be all right.

Best wishes,
Raj
 
Originally posted by sai-2367
wowgc,
Your note seems to touch emotional strings, and i too really feel very sorry for the poor lady who is there all by herself. What is the use of having children when they are not there when you need them the most. Old age is a very difficult thing by itself and to live by yourself alone in a hostile environment is even more difficult.
May god give her strength.
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I do apologize for wrongly mentioning my mother being "alone" when I hurriedly opened this thread this morn, after a sleepless last night. (though i remember that i mentioned that we're co-owner of a house). Currently there r 8 members in that house:
* my mother
* an orphaned boy whom we've raised (from age 7), educated, got married .. who is now 35+; working, with his wife and a kid. They use the same room, utilities and utensils, that we use.
* my elder cousin, his wife and their 2 kids.
Apart from that we've several relatives, friends ( read Several ) who live not far off.

This thread was ALL ABOUT exposing corruption in gov/police/adm level .. what we've done and doing for our mother .. this is not something I would like to discuss in a public forum!!

Had we been interested in making money from our house, we would have struck a deal with this promoter, or any one out there for a good price! On the other hand, we're trying to preserve it .. "AS IT IS", as an ancestral home, without giving it to the promoter. (I've bought an apt. separately in a good location)

But, I do understand how some people can get carried away and jump to "Quick Conclusions" only by reading a few lines of online forum msgs. Hope people have read my subsequent posts, in addition to my first one.

"There is no greater mistake than the hasty conclusion!"
Thomas H. Huxley (1825 - 1895)
 
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People have different reasons not to visit when a loved one is dead. You should be prepared for those as you are far away and you cannot just go like that.

Though I am emotional in these things and used to think that you should, I have personally seen my friend who couldn't attend his mother's funeral since he did not have his AP. He applied for it though but did not have it at that time. He tried at the Atlanta INS office but with no luck. (But if I were him, I would have definitely attended.) But not seeing his mom and consoling her for 10 months is not a good thing in my opinion.
 
Originally posted by peekayem
Hi waytoolong,
that's what I'm thinking of doing also and trying to estb that connection thru my cousin. If this can happen in a posh locality in South Calcutta, I dare not think about the suburbs, or the interiors!! God help them.
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Actually you are a target because you own land in a posh locale and your mother is vulnerable, so the vultures came ... Did you try to post on NRIOL or Calcutta-online to find out if there is any way you could find anyone with contacts to help you out ? You never know, there could be a decent human being with contacts at a pretty high level .... with the right connections, it is just a matter of a phone call.

Anyone here on this forum have contacts (political or administrative) in Calcutta ?
 
peekayem
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But, I do understand how some people can get carried away and jump to "Quick Conclusions" only by reading a few lines of online forum msgs. Hope people have read my subsequent posts, in addition to my first one.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Online forum messages are meant for discussion. If you want to avoid your personal or family issues, please do not post messages online.

1. What ever is the situation, you and your brother failed to take care of ur parents at the time they needed. You may be in USA today and living in this free world but the duties & responsibilities of the son cann't be replaced by others.
 
locally solved

Hi
this problem is almost common in india. One of my known people lost his house at Benaras when he shifted his jobs to punjab. Similarly, I know a couples of them lost or almost lost their property in Burdwan and calcutta. In fact, My own brother was losing his property . But a famous lawyer (relative of my Sister-in law) rescued. I feel this problem has to be solved locally only. We are at US have no real picture of present India. It has changed for a last few years. People enjoy anything "free". No point of blaming them. We do not know the actual depth of the problems but comment as it does not cost or harm. I feel to go back and stay with my mother. She lives alone in a big house too but suroounded by relatives. Please solve locally.
Thanks
 
Why do Indians always think that the parents need their children when they are old? If they have some help and friends and relatives of their age, they need not stay with their children. Just a visit now and then by/to their children should be enough. On the contrary there are a lot of disadvantages of them staying with you. And what is wrong in putting them in an old age home?
 
Originally posted by frantic
Why do Indians always think that the parents need their children when they are old? If they have some help and friends and relatives of their age, they need not stay with their children. Just a visit now and then by/to their children should be enough. On the contrary there are a lot of disadvantages of them staying with you. And what is wrong in putting them in an old age home?
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frantic,

It is JUST OUR CULTURE!! No culture can be praised entirely or blamed entirely. Different cultures are exactly that.... DIFFERENT!

PS: WE can change that with our present generation and not be emotionally dependent on our children. But, to expect our parents to drop that dependence, cold turkey, when they have been brought up that way, is just cruel!

These days many people, especially the women, are educated. When you have education on your side, it acts as a great prop and a companion and one doesn't feel lonely. Think about one of our mothers, who were not educated and had lived with the concept of the family being her life, suddenly finding herself lonely without any emotional support!!

DISCLAIMER : THIS IN NO WAY TALKS ABOUT peekayem OR HIS SITUATION!!!
 
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Prajaram what you have expressed below is very well thought and practicle view. I agree, we can not take 180 degree turn in a year or a decade....it is a long process and we need to continue to do the right things so our present and future generation don't have to make such hard choices.

Originally posted by PalaniappanRajaram
frantic,

It is JUST OUR CULTURE!! No culture can be praised entirely or blamed entirely. Different cultures are exactly that.... DIFFERENT!

PS: WE can change that with our present generation and not be emotionally dependent on our children. But, to expect our parents to drop that dependence, cold turkey, when they have been brought up that way, is just cruel!

These days many people, especially the women, are educated. When you have education on your side, it acts as a great prop and a companion and one doesn't feel lonely. Think about one of our mothers, who were not educated and had lived with the concept of the family being her life, suddenly finding herself lonely without any emotional support!!

DISCLAIMER : THIS IN NO WAY TALKS ABOUT peekayem OR HIS SITUATION!!!
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Re: Selfishness

Originally posted by dsatish
wowgc is 100% right. When i read Peekayem's first post, i was amazed that this type of people(peekayem brothers) exist in this world. Their dad died last November and neither of them visited thier mother even after 10 months. One can understand if one can not make a journey at a short notice due to some strong reasons. But no reasons can justify two people not making one single trip to their motherland to see their father's body one last time and/or to console their mother.
No father or mother will want such children.
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Please leave this to those two brothers ! What you and me do in our life is not perfect. Don't give them negative feeling now....they are grown ups and they know what is good and bad for them. This is very sensitive subject....and one should not give unwanted, unasked suggestions or comments.
 
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