Enjoy
For those of you who have gone through inexplicable experiences just
to let somebody(here) figure out how you spell your name (!!),
here"s
something that you can relate to
read on .......................
" Your name?"
" Dinesh."
"How do you spell it?"
"D-I-N.........."
"slow,slow, T ?"
"No, D."
"Is that T as in Tom, or D as in Dennis?"
"No, not Dennis, my name is Dinesh."
" I know that. I am asking you, is that a T as in Tom, or D as in
...Detroit?"
"I don't know who Tom is, and I haven't been to Detroit. I just came
from Madras."
"OK, OK, I know that. Is that T-I- OR D-I- ?" "D.
D-I-. D-I-N-E-S-H."
"Is that your last name or first name?"
"uh? Dinesh is name."
OK. What is your LAST NAME ?
"That is my first and last name. Dinesh."
"Then, is your name Dinesh Dinesh?"
"No. My name is Dinesh."
"But what is your LAST NAME? I am ASKING YOU ABOUT YOUR LAST NAME."
"I told you, Dinesh. I always had the same name, from birth till
now.
DINESH.
That's my name."
"OK, WHAT IS YOUR FAMILY NAME?"
"Family? Family name? My family doesn't have a name."
"What do the neighbors call you?"
"Dinesh."
"Not you. Your whole family. what do they call your family?"
"Beedida Bhat'rr."
"So, that is your family name. Do you understand? How do you spell
it?"
"Spell what?"
"B.D. whatever you said, what your neighbors call your family."
"Oh, that........................ Beedida Bhat'rr."
"What do you need that for? It only means
'the brahmin who makes = beedis."
"What are B-D's?"
"Not B-D. Beedi, is like a cigarette, you see, they roll the
tobacco in a leaf and tie a thread around it. 25 in a kattu."
"25 in a what?"
"Kattu, or katta, whatever. Like a bunch, you see.
I there is even one less or one more, my father could always tell
without counting. He then taught me how to do it."
"I am not worried about your 'cutter' or whatever. what - is-
your-last-name?"
"I told you, Dinesh."
"OK, OK, I don't want to go over this again. What is common to
the names of all the members of your family?"
"They are all in Sanskrit. My first sister is Suneetha, the second
sister is
Sumathi ........"
"Not about the language. When you write your name, and your sister
writes her name, what do you two have in common?"
"we have the same handwriting. Even my father can't tell our
handwritings apart."
"Blast it! What is your father's name?"
"G.K.Nettar."
"What does G.K stand for?"
"His name, Gopala Krishna."
"Then what is Nettar?"
"That is our house name."
"House name? Aha, does every one at your house have this name?"
"It is not our name. It is the name of our house. Strictly speaking,
it sould be Honnadka. But my fahter was too lazy to change it. My
father was born in Honnadka, but, see, my grandfather was born in
Nettar."
"What was his name?"
"I told you, G.K.Nettar."
"Your grandfather was also called G.K. whatever?"
"No. That is my father."
"Then what is grandfather's name?"
" Govinda Bhat. See, my relatives still call me Mangalore Govinda.
Because it is a tradition to name the first son after his
grandfather.
All the brothers of my father have done this. So, we have Honnadka
Govinda, Jogivettu Govinda, Kanchodu Govinda, and I am
Mangalore Govinda."
"So , then, your name is Mangalore Govinda, not Dinesh."
"No, My name is Dinesh. Mangalore Govinda is how my relatives call
me.
That is not my Name."
"What do they call your sister?"
"Ammanni."
"What? Your said her name is Sooneetha."
"Yes, that is her name, Suneetha, But we call her Ammanni."
"Is that her nick-name?"
"No. Seh doesn't have a nick name. Only our neighbor's daughter has
a
nick name. She is called 'SOOTE'. She is very active.
That's why." "What about your brother?"
"I have no brothers. But then, you can count all those Govindas as
my
brothers too. See, they are really kind of my brothers."
"OK, What are their names?"
"The oldest one, he is my bigbrother. He is called GovindaNNa."
"Govinda Anna? Then Anna is his last name."
"No, ANNA, not anna. ANNA means big brother."
"What is his NAME?"
"His name is Govinda Bhat."
"Then your last name is But."
"Not but, Bhat, B-H-A-T.But that's not his name, you see."
"If that's not his name, what is it? Why does he have it in his
name?"
"Bhat simply means he is a brahmin. He might as well write Rao,
like his father does, or Sharma, like may father's second brother
does."
"How does he write his name in official papers?"
"Nettar Govinda Bhat. That's how he writes it."
"How does his father write it?"
"Nettar Venkata Subba Rao."
"Aha, I can see now. Your father is G.K.Nettar, his brother is
Nettar something Rao.... your last name is then Nettar.
Aha, I got it."
"But Nettar is not the last name. It is the house name."
"I don't care. Tell me one last time, What is YOUR last name?"
"But I told you, my last name is the same as my first name, my only
name, DINESH."
"Then, I am going to write Nettar here. I don't care if it is your
house name, your grandfather's name ,your dog's name, whatever.
It is your last name. How do you spell it" N-E-..."
"N-E-T-T-A-R."
"N-E-T-T? Is that T as in Tom or D as in Dennis?"
"My name is Dinesh, not Dennis."
"AARRGGHHHHHH.Do we have to go through this again? Here, write it
down."
"That's it. From now on, you are Dinesh Nettar,
Dinesh is your first name, and Nettar is your last name. OK?"
