Feb2002Case
Registered Users (C)
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_167938,0030.htm
"C’mon boys, I want to have an emergency meeting," Saurav Ganguly shouted to his team after the Tendulkar versus Australia match on Saturday night.
Tendulkar grimaced. Whatever for? he wondered.
Ten minutes later the Indian team met. Coach John Wright and psychologist Sandy Gordon too were there. Deep Throat, my unimpeachable source, watched the proceedings through the keyhole.
Ganguly began the meeting. "I must recall an old joke," he said. "An American was once asked to watch a cricket match while in London. He went there. After the first six balls, the umpire shouted `over.’ The American quickly left, saying 'It’s a good game but very short.'"
Nobody laughed.
"It’s a shame we are turning cricket into a short game besides losing matches," Ganguly continued. "We didn’t last the full overs against Australia and even against Holland!"
Tendulkar gaped at Ganguly. Gordon pondered the psychiatric relevance of this joke to the Indian team.
Deep Throat recalls that Ganguly himself lasted 32 balls for eight runs in Wednesday’s Tendulkar versus Holland nightmare and 21 balls for 9 runs in Saturday’s Tendulkar versus Australia nightmare.
For nothing better to say, Gordon said for the 68th time in a month: "A captain must lead his team from the front."
"But with a bat in hand," an impulsive Rahul Dravid said and bit his lips.
Ganguly glared at him. "I know why you were clean bowled in the Holland match after 17 runs," a sarcastic Ganguly told Dravid. "You got out because you were busy asking the wicket-keeper `Where is Holland?’"
"We need to play aggressive cricket," John Wright suggested for the 1,468th time since he became a coach. "We must," Sandy Gordon said for the 18th time in the day, "forget the past and look to future."
"How can I look into the past or present or future?" Ganguly screamed. "Everybody is analysing not only my footwork, wrist movements, my running, the batting and bowling order I choose and the field arrangements I make, but also my hairstyle, food habits and even my state of mind! And that guy Srikkanth is yelling for my blood from Sony Max commentators’ box! How can I
possibly concentrate!"
"We have to forget the past….." Gordon said for the 19th time.
"Yeah," Ganguly said, "We need to have a game plan that everybody says we don’t have. I now have a gameplan to win the World Cup."
Excited, Dinesh Mongia asked: "The 2007 Cup? Good idea!" Ganguly frowned at him. "No, the 2003 cup!"
"Meanwhile," Ganguly said, "I will continue to monkey around with the batting order. In the next match, while I come at No. 1, Sachin will come at No. 4. Many guys say I should bat at No. 4 or No 5 but I am the captain. What do you think?"
Nobody said anything.
Ganguly should come at No. 12, John Wright thought to himself.
"So what’s our game plan?" Harbhajan insisted.
"It’s simple," Ganguly said. "While batting, we should concentrate on the game instead of sponsors and individual scores, run quickly between wickets and try to score as many runs as possible without giving away wickets. While bowling, we should bowl accurately and get batsmen out quickly. While fielding, we should be athletic and chase the ball instead of waiting for it to come to us. This should be our game plan and the cup is ours."
There was stunned silence for a minute. Sehwag said quietly: "If this is the game plan, it’s back to basics. I might as well go back to school."
Ganguly scowled at Harbhajan and said: "One more basic question: how do we last 50 overs?"
"One good way of ensuring that," Yuvraj suggested, "is to have only batsmen as the 11 players and forget all about bowling."
Kumble and Srinath glared at Yuvaraj.
Gordon said: "Australian selectors pick a player only if he is good in at least two of the three departments: batting, bowling and fielding. Each player should be good at batting and fielding or bowling and batting…..etc. What if Indian selectors too do it?"
Then we may be left with no team, Tendulkar thought to himself.
Nobody said anything.
"Should we have a legspinner at all in the team?" Gordon asked.
"Boy! With a head-spinner like Mandira Bedi around, do we need anybody!" Kaif joked.
Nobody laughed.
Gordon stood up and wound up the meeting, saying: "Ok guys, tomorrow’s psychology class is at 8 a.m, don’t drink too much tonight."
"C’mon boys, I want to have an emergency meeting," Saurav Ganguly shouted to his team after the Tendulkar versus Australia match on Saturday night.
Tendulkar grimaced. Whatever for? he wondered.
Ten minutes later the Indian team met. Coach John Wright and psychologist Sandy Gordon too were there. Deep Throat, my unimpeachable source, watched the proceedings through the keyhole.
Ganguly began the meeting. "I must recall an old joke," he said. "An American was once asked to watch a cricket match while in London. He went there. After the first six balls, the umpire shouted `over.’ The American quickly left, saying 'It’s a good game but very short.'"
Nobody laughed.
"It’s a shame we are turning cricket into a short game besides losing matches," Ganguly continued. "We didn’t last the full overs against Australia and even against Holland!"
Tendulkar gaped at Ganguly. Gordon pondered the psychiatric relevance of this joke to the Indian team.
Deep Throat recalls that Ganguly himself lasted 32 balls for eight runs in Wednesday’s Tendulkar versus Holland nightmare and 21 balls for 9 runs in Saturday’s Tendulkar versus Australia nightmare.
For nothing better to say, Gordon said for the 68th time in a month: "A captain must lead his team from the front."
"But with a bat in hand," an impulsive Rahul Dravid said and bit his lips.
Ganguly glared at him. "I know why you were clean bowled in the Holland match after 17 runs," a sarcastic Ganguly told Dravid. "You got out because you were busy asking the wicket-keeper `Where is Holland?’"
"We need to play aggressive cricket," John Wright suggested for the 1,468th time since he became a coach. "We must," Sandy Gordon said for the 18th time in the day, "forget the past and look to future."
"How can I look into the past or present or future?" Ganguly screamed. "Everybody is analysing not only my footwork, wrist movements, my running, the batting and bowling order I choose and the field arrangements I make, but also my hairstyle, food habits and even my state of mind! And that guy Srikkanth is yelling for my blood from Sony Max commentators’ box! How can I
possibly concentrate!"
"We have to forget the past….." Gordon said for the 19th time.
"Yeah," Ganguly said, "We need to have a game plan that everybody says we don’t have. I now have a gameplan to win the World Cup."
Excited, Dinesh Mongia asked: "The 2007 Cup? Good idea!" Ganguly frowned at him. "No, the 2003 cup!"
"Meanwhile," Ganguly said, "I will continue to monkey around with the batting order. In the next match, while I come at No. 1, Sachin will come at No. 4. Many guys say I should bat at No. 4 or No 5 but I am the captain. What do you think?"
Nobody said anything.
Ganguly should come at No. 12, John Wright thought to himself.
"So what’s our game plan?" Harbhajan insisted.
"It’s simple," Ganguly said. "While batting, we should concentrate on the game instead of sponsors and individual scores, run quickly between wickets and try to score as many runs as possible without giving away wickets. While bowling, we should bowl accurately and get batsmen out quickly. While fielding, we should be athletic and chase the ball instead of waiting for it to come to us. This should be our game plan and the cup is ours."
There was stunned silence for a minute. Sehwag said quietly: "If this is the game plan, it’s back to basics. I might as well go back to school."
Ganguly scowled at Harbhajan and said: "One more basic question: how do we last 50 overs?"
"One good way of ensuring that," Yuvraj suggested, "is to have only batsmen as the 11 players and forget all about bowling."
Kumble and Srinath glared at Yuvaraj.
Gordon said: "Australian selectors pick a player only if he is good in at least two of the three departments: batting, bowling and fielding. Each player should be good at batting and fielding or bowling and batting…..etc. What if Indian selectors too do it?"
Then we may be left with no team, Tendulkar thought to himself.
Nobody said anything.
"Should we have a legspinner at all in the team?" Gordon asked.
"Boy! With a head-spinner like Mandira Bedi around, do we need anybody!" Kaif joked.
Nobody laughed.
Gordon stood up and wound up the meeting, saying: "Ok guys, tomorrow’s psychology class is at 8 a.m, don’t drink too much tonight."
