need advice - high schooler, alone now

B

baseball

Registered Users (C)
I\'ve almost finished high school (I am permitted to give out only limited information about myself).

My father recently divorced my mother to marry a woman in Belgium and we have no further contact with him or information about him. My mother wants to return to her home country now since she has no one else here (no friends, no relatives, no job, no education/skills except cooking), so she is all set to fly back soon (in about a month). I have decided to stay on here and not go back with her. I have my permanent residency, and I am 18, so I can stay here in America, and don\'t have to return to the old country (which is an alien place to me anyway because I was practically raised here in Virginia).

I can work on a $6-an-hour job and support myself for the rest of my life like most other people from my town. Or I can join a local university where I have been accepted and study further. While I would strongly prefer to study, this may prove to be financially difficult since I will not have a home (we rent) and no source of income at all. I can get student loans though and I am pretty stubborn, achievement-oriented and determined myself.

Please advise me: What kind of problems am I likely to face while being alone and more importantly, how do I overcome these problems? I have absolutely no relatives here in America and very few friends who are over 18 themselves.

What other advice could you give me?

Signed,
not-permitted-to-give-out-name
 
Attend school part time

Since you appear quite motivated you can share apt or some place with another student, work full time and attend school part time. Maintain good grades to keep the scholarship. Instead of 4 year you could still graduate in about 6 taking summer courses too.

Once you are in school and work full time you are less likely to feel lonely like you do now. Wish you the best.
 
Try to get college education by all means.

baseball,

Do extensive research to receive scholarships and financial aid available to you at the moment. Considerably more financial aids available for citizens than for Green Card holders. So consider applying for citizenship when/if you are eligible.

Needless to say, stay away from drugs and criminal environments.

When in doubt, do like _successful_ people do.

And good luck!
 
but college\'s darned expensive

I too am inclined to go to college, but it is extremely expensive and almost no one from my town ever goes to college. And these are kids with rich parents. I will have absolutely no one in this country after my mom goes home to the old country for good. Our total savings after paying for her expensive plane ticket is about $700, of which mom will take $100 and leave $600 for me.

The few students who do go to school spend about $22,000 a year on tuition, board and living expenses, after their 20-hours a week jobs. Are you saying that I take out student loans to the tune of 22,000 * 4 years = $88,000? That is way too much! There\'s got to be a better/smarter way. Any suggestions?

I\'ll be absolutely alone here and since our neighbors never really socialized with us, I don\'t really know anyone I can go to for help if I need help. So there is no reason for me to stay in Arlington, Virginia, which being close to the White House, is an EXTREMELY expensive location to stay. Moving someplace cheaper seems the sensible thing to do. Any suggestions?

Tuition at the Washington/Virginia schools is too steep. Where is tuition likely to be lower?

Thanks
 
No Title

would you consider getting a citizenship and then joining your mom in the old country ?
College will probably be much cheaper there (than here) and you can always get better
opportunities here once you graduate ?

Just my 2 cents. Don\'t know your situation in full.
 
problem

Scholarships? I wish! My teachers always maintained I was super-smart but that certainly never reflected in my grades and performance. My GPA is so bad that I will not tell you what it is. I just need a second chance to prove that I can ace all my tests. All these years, I just fooled around in Virginia while my parents struggled to get the green card.

It\'s kinda hard to explain, but part of the reason I could not work hard was seeing how hard my parents worked and how difficult life was for them. Loafing around seemed the best form of escapism. But I never dreamt I would be all alone in America when I turned 17 (almost 18 now).

But I am digressing. I have very bad grades. I can get very good grades if I got another chance, no problem. But given my current performance, I can say goodbye to scholarships and the financial aid/admissions people quickly lose interest in me after they see my transcript.

I wish every person on this forum has something to suggest to me. You never know but one of those suggestions - however plain it may be - might just change my life! Thanks!!
 
Fake poster

My 2 cents.

What is this B.S. of not being allowed to give your name and blah, blah, if you are 18, what is preventing you from telling more?
It is pathetic that someone (I am assuming this message belongs to the same trend) is posting messages with contrived stories,which people are afraid to confront for fear of hurting an "innocent poster". However, this forum doesn\'t have an independent verification of the identity or background of the poster, and then, the only way of putting the veracity of a posting is by this sort of reply.

There is a person or group of persons who have been very active lately trying to cause damage to this forum by posting messages similar to this one, I\'d wish there was a way of unmasking the fake posters, unfortunately this is probably not an easy task, but at least we can try to open our eyes to such postings and don\'t condone them.

My apologies if this is a true posting, but the more I read it, the "faker" it seems. Whose\'s mother from an "old country" would leave an 18 year old alone, here, when having a GC, give me a break!

My 2 cents once more.
 
No Title

Huracan, I am seventeen actually but what questions do you have about me, huh?? I\'ll be happy to answer as many of them as possible. You must be one of those annoying assholes who are in various chat rooms 24/7. How was I trying to cause "damage to this forum"???? Answer me! Did I say a single sentence that would "damage this forum"? I was minding my own business. I asked a few questions without offending anybody. I never insulted anyone or said mean things about anyone, so if you have nothing to contribute get your ass out of my life.

How dare you attack my mom before you know anything about her background!!! Going back home was MY idea, not hers! I can bring her back here without any problems after I become an American citizen. Why are you insinuating she is an awful person? Do you know ANYTHING about her?? Do you know how many police complaints and restraining orders she has filed? Do you know how many breakdowns she has had and how many sleepless frightened nights she spends here? Do you know how many problems she\'s had? Do you know anything about her medical history? Do you know anything about her own family background and the tragic circumstances that cause her to completely abandon her green card and return to her country of origin? Do you know how bitterly she and I fought over this whole issue? Do you know she is scared of her life because her brother-in-law is terrorizing her? Do you know I spent a night in prison because I hit this person with a baseball bat when my uncle turned up at our house one night and started raping my mother? Do you know my mother could not prove in court she was almost raped? Do you know what such things do to the mind of a poor immigrant lady in a foreign country especially when you can barely speak English? Has it even occured to you that my father may not even be in Belgium as he told us and that he might send someone to hurt my mother?

What\'s your problem Huracan?
 
baseball, how about Navy or Air Force?

Think about it. You can negotiate a very good contract with them and get all the benefits you need including education.

If everything you wrote about here is true, Army looks like the best option for you.
 
did u say u were "Huracan"?

How about you Huracan? What\'s *your* name? If you can hide behind a pseudonym, why do you expect a teenager to give out his real name? I think the culture of this forum should be one of welcoming new people but rude posts like yours drive newcomers away. An apology is in order.
Ganesh
Mera Bharat Mahan
 
I had already done that :)

I already apologised in case this was a true posting in my original message. I still think this is a fake posting, and probably yours too. I think it is good that we can preserve our privacy and stay behind the handle names. I did not have any interest in knowing his details, what I found funny was that the poster had to state that was unable to post details. Furthermore, the age stated in the poster\'s first message was 18, then that changed later to almost 18.Anyway, this story smells to urban legend to me.

How would you deal with the fake poster who have been wreaking havoc lately in the California 485, this and probably other forums?

Newcomers welcome :) Fake posters unwelcome :(
My 2 cents.
 
I am only 16/7 on the forums :)

By posting a message in a public forum, you can expect anything, even replies challenging what you say. I still think that your posting is fake, the story about hitting your uncle with the baseball is a nice touch, this is how you picked your handle name.
My problem is unmasking fake posters :) If you are not a fake poster, please don\'t take offense and good luck with your life. If there is an ounce of truth to what you say, it seems like an error to let your mother to go back to her country. Move to other city where you can be far from your uncle.
By the way, the answer to most of your questions (the do you know ones) is no :)

By the way, I challenged your posting, but didn\'t call you any name.
 
Delete your email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baseball, you need to delete some of your email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The email I send you keeps bouncing back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You haven\'t received no good suggestions on this bulletin board and these nerds have attacked you instead. I told you before, just because you look like them, you don\'t have to hang out with the no-good immigrant crowd. Theyre wierd - you don\'t think like them and you don\'t look like them, you think like one of us, you speak like us, so stay away from these immigrants. The Army suggestion is a good one but we have told you that ourselves.

Stay away from Steve and his friends on your way home from school! Don\'t call me - I\'ll call you.

Love ya.
 
many foreign students came here with less money than you have, plus they were not to work off-campus

My two cents: get a job in a place where there is community college so that you go there part-time. Every CC I know offers weekend and evening classes, and the tuition is very low.

Your can get a better job with a CC degree, or if you want to get a bachelor\'s degree in a four year college, you can transfer your CC credits to it. most colleges and universities encourage CC students to transfer, and they even give scholarship to them.

Or take a loan as other American kids. I work at a university. A lot of students I know have student loans. A lot of American kids are on their own after graduation from high school; move out of the parents\' house, get a job, or take a loan to go to colleg. This is part of American culture.

gook luck.
 
about grades

you dont need good grades to go to CC. But while in CC, you need to work hard to get good grades, so when you try to transfer to 4-yr-college, you will be easily accepted and possiblly be awarded scholarship. I know people who did this.
 
baseball, so many good things going on for you and your mother:

Though I take postngs of people like you with a pinch of salt (some things sound very fake about your posts as huracan said) - I think you could be (maybe not!) a fake too because you have all these options open to you:
1. You already have a GC. So you are a free agent. In the US, kids your age are already on their own. They work through college. this option is open to you.
2. Do you want to find out about abused women\'s shelter run by government and social welfare organizations to help your mother? Some of them are even run by people from the "old country", so may not have language problems.
3. Could you talk to a social worker (who speaks your mother\'s language) to find out how to take out a restraing order against her attackers??
4. can your mother work as a cook? or babysitter? or checkout clerk? or flip burgers at mcDonald\'s or at a cleaning service ... endless opportunities to support herself and her family, if she wanted to!
5. How come you were "practically raised" in the US, but got a GC at 17 years of age?? you should have got it before you reached 10, if the story that you moved here at a young age is true, right??
6. How come your English has very few mistakes, though your parents do not speak the language? (most immigrant kids have problems to speak and write and spell the English language IF their parents had that probem - there are many exceptions, so no offense to anyone on this board).
If you are not a fake - best wishes to your mother and you. you still got a lot of things going on for you both.
 
No Title

My personal life experience has few common points with yours. I expect most people on this board to have been raised outside the US and to have came here either with a pretty high level degree or with their mind set to go in high level education.

In my opinion a high level education pays off, specially if you study in a field that is of interest to you. There are some sacrifices to be made and some fields require more sacrifices than others. On the other side if you are more artistically inclined it may make more sense for you to devote as much time as possible to your passion in whatever field this is. Be honest with yourself and choose wisely, you will have to live with your decision.

Good luck!
 
Military: an honorable choice, sacrifice and opportunity

My husbands has been in the military and has always said how much it gave him (training, college and travel). But more than that he feels very patriotic and could be making more money now (because of his military training!) but wants to give more back.
Finish your H.S. diploma or get your GED (the Army still accepts one or two a month per recruiter). Give back to this wonderful country, give yourself a future! Good luck!
 
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