My Wife is destroying my life

S

Shan29

Registered Users (C)
Hi my name is Zeeshan. I am 29 year old and i am living in North Carolina. I am been living in the united states for past 11 years. I married to girl in pakistan about 3 years ago and we have a son together which now i am 80% sure that he is my son too but not 100%. My wife came to usa on a suppose immigrant visa as my wife with my son. When she was in pakistan she always demanded money and it seemed like that money and jewelry was everything to her. When she came to USA she left all the jewlery that we gave her on the wedding day in pakistan with her mom. Some of our reletives in pakistan kept telling us after marriage that she just want the green card and she has no intentions of staying with me. I didn't believe anyone and kept supporting as i thought that she might change when she starts living with me in the USA. She came here about 2 and half months ago and from the word go she was complaining about stuff. On the eid day all of our family went to the mosque for eid prayer and she insisted that she wants to stay home and doesn't want to go. when we came back she had stolen my mom jewelry from her room and $160 with the jewelry. When asked about it she started cursing and saying bad names to my mother and father. First we decided to call the police and later we said that we should settle this in home. Next 2 or 3 days she stayed in our home and will not admit that she stole the jewelry and the money. on the 5th day she started acting really crazy and started throwing stuff in home broke the tv remote control and also hit the tv with a calculator and also there was a dish made she dumped that in the living room and cursed everyone in our house. we made 1 or 2 short videos of her cursing us and threatening us that she will put all of us in jail. when we heard that my little brother went to the police and told them that we had such and such problem at home and they said you go home and if she does something again call us. Later the same day my wife went out of house and called the police from our neighbors home. she told police that her husband had hit her and even hit the child because child had a bruise too. i told police that i didn't do it and she just making all this up. after seeing all the evidence and also one of our aunt was in our home when she threw stuff in house and made a mess. police also asked her few questions. finally, they took her to jail in an assault case. she was released after two days and one of her friends in maryland took her there. We went to the congressmen in our city and told her the story. she told us to write to the INS about this. we wrote a complete letter with details to the INS about what she did to us also sent them a copy of police report. when my wife left NC she took the child with her.
now i have given her divorce according to our islamic laws. In nc there is law that you have to live separate for one year to give the divorce.
she constantly calls me from Maryland and threatens me that she will file a domestic violence law suite against me and will do this and that and that the child is suffering because of me. I told her few weeks ago that i can take care of the child but i will have to get the DNA test before to make sure.
Last night she and one other lady who helps new immigrants called me and they said that the child is in pakistan now. she said that she went there and left the child and came back which i believe is a lie. now that lady is threatening me that she will make my life miserable and will do this and that.
what should i do in this case.
my wife just married me for greencard and so just she could come and live in USA. what are my best options. Please Help.
 
You need a family law attorney licensed in your state of residence who either has experience with your cultural and immigration issues or has a good relationship with an immigration attorney who does.

Given that there is a child potentially involved and the possibility that she will try to use the VAWA to gain legal status (expected based on your reports of her actions) , you really need more help than is available on the forum.

If you cannot afford one, seek out the services at the law school or through the social service agencies such as Catholic Charities who can assist you in locating an attorney who will working on a sliding fee scale.

You have too much to lose to not take this situation very seriously and use professional assistance.
 
Shan29 said:
Hi my name is Zeeshan. I am 29 year old and i am living in North Carolina. I am been living in the united states for past 11 years. I married to girl in pakistan about 3 years ago and we have a son together which now i am 80% sure that he is my son too but not 100%. My wife came to usa on a suppose immigrant visa as my wife with my son. When she was in pakistan she always demanded money and it seemed like that money and jewelry was everything to her. When she came to USA she left all the jewlery that we gave her on the wedding day in pakistan with her mom. Some of our reletives in pakistan kept telling us after marriage that she just want the green card and she has no intentions of staying with me. I didn't believe anyone and kept supporting as i thought that she might change when she starts living with me in the USA. She came here about 2 and half months ago and from the word go she was complaining about stuff. On the eid day all of our family went to the mosque for eid prayer and she insisted that she wants to stay home and doesn't want to go. when we came back she had stolen my mom jewelry from her room and $160 with the jewelry. When asked about it she started cursing and saying bad names to my mother and father. First we decided to call the police and later we said that we should settle this in home. Next 2 or 3 days she stayed in our home and will not admit that she stole the jewelry and the money. on the 5th day she started acting really crazy and started throwing stuff in home broke the tv remote control and also hit the tv with a calculator and also there was a dish made she dumped that in the living room and cursed everyone in our house. we made 1 or 2 short videos of her cursing us and threatening us that she will put all of us in jail. when we heard that my little brother went to the police and told them that we had such and such problem at home and they said you go home and if she does something again call us. Later the same day my wife went out of house and called the police from our neighbors home. she told police that her husband had hit her and even hit the child because child had a bruise too. i told police that i didn't do it and she just making all this up. after seeing all the evidence and also one of our aunt was in our home when she threw stuff in house and made a mess. police also asked her few questions. finally, they took her to jail in an assault case. she was released after two days and one of her friends in maryland took her there. We went to the congressmen in our city and told her the story. she told us to write to the INS about this. we wrote a complete letter with details to the INS about what she did to us also sent them a copy of police report. when my wife left NC she took the child with her.
now i have given her divorce according to our islamic laws. In nc there is law that you have to live separate for one year to give the divorce.
she constantly calls me from Maryland and threatens me that she will file a domestic violence law suite against me and will do this and that and that the child is suffering because of me. I told her few weeks ago that i can take care of the child but i will have to get the DNA test before to make sure.
Last night she and one other lady who helps new immigrants called me and they said that the child is in pakistan now. she said that she went there and left the child and came back which i believe is a lie. now that lady is threatening me that she will make my life miserable and will do this and that.
what should i do in this case.
my wife just married me for greencard and so just she could come and live in USA. what are my best options. Please Help.
Click to expand...



Dude,

I assume that you are an American citizen? Is your child a US citizen or a greencard holder? How long have you been an american citizen? If your wife took your son to Pakistan and he's a US citizen, she will certainly go to federal prison, big crime to hold a child of a US citizen against their will abroad. Also, if you gain custody of this child during the divorce, she will be required to devulge his whereabouts. Q 13 on I485 was designed primarily for people whose children were taken against the knowledge of other parent...:rolleyes:

You have a very complex case which is going to require an experience lawyer, especially on the divorce site because I believe that you have a strong case of winning full custody of your son in court. The videos which you have will go a long way in underming your wife's credibility and mental state which a smart lawyer can exploit to get you full custody of your child. Moreover, a conservative judge in NC could find in your favor for this child to remain in the US to assimilate and learn about this country as opposed to returning to Pakistan and "possibly attend a madrassa" which might radicalize him. I am not saying that your child is going to be a fundamentalist, GOD knows there lot of pakistani people who have successful lives in their home country and their kids go abroad to learn skills to better their communities. I focused purposely on the narrow view held in conservative circles that most kids will become radical fundamentalist who hates the West. I am certain Triple harbors no hatred towards the West as he is a Westener with three passports...:D

I am certain once the divorce is final, your wife is going to be deported back to Pakistan. Your child will remain in the US and will require you to take good care of him. If you have proof that she married you for the GC, then USCIS would be interested in that information to make a swift decision. What is eid prayer? :confused:
 
Mapac

Zeeshan,

Sorry to read about your problems. I would suggest that you contact MAPAC. The organization is located in Raleigh and perhaps they can refer you to a family law attorney who is also familiar regarding immigration law.

The Muslim American Public Affairs Council (MAPAC) is an organization that aims to lobby at all levels of government on behalf of the growing American Muslim community. MAPAC focuses on politics and its effect on Muslims in America.

http://www.mapacnc.org/
 
Al Southner said:
Dude,

I assume that you are an American citizen? Is your child a US citizen or a greencard holder?

The child was born in pakistan. I am a us citizen for past 5 years and few months. the child has a 10 year greencard to stay in USA.
Click to expand...
 
I don't get it - you got your son a GC even though he was born when you were already a citizen?
Anyway, I take legal action against your wife for taking your son out of the country without your EXPLICIT permission.
 
VisaNutz said:
I don't get it - you got your son a GC even though he was born when you were already a citizen?
Click to expand...

Isn't he automatically a citizen as the child of a US citizen? That's kinda confusing. Unless you filed for LPR for your wife with your son as a dependent? I would talk to an attorney immediately to know all your options. Are you legally still married?
 
VisaNutz said:
I don't get it - you got your son a GC even though he was born when you were already a citizen?
Anyway, I take legal action against your wife for taking your son out of the country without your EXPLICIT permission.
Click to expand...

i was going to file for his us passport when he came here. my wife tore up the birth certificate. to get the us passport a child needs birth certificate with both parents signature.
 
thomas_psu said:
Isn't he automatically a citizen as the child of a US citizen? That's kinda confusing. Unless you filed for LPR for your wife with your son as a dependent? I would talk to an attorney immediately to know all your options. Are you legally still married?
Click to expand...

yes legally i am still married. in North Carolina you have to be separated for 1 year before you can file for divorce.
 
Shan29 said:
i was going to file for his us passport when he came here. my wife tore up the birth certificate. to get the us passport a child needs birth certificate with both parents signature.
Click to expand...
Order a new birth certificate. You may be able to get it via the Pakistan consulate in New York or Los Angeles (or whatever is the closest consulate to you, if there are others).

Getting the passport will be a problem without your wife's cooperation, but once you have the birth certificate (and marriage certificate) you can file N-600 to obtain a Certificate of Citizenship for your son without your wife's signature.
 
Assuming you went the "Talaq, talaq, talaq" route, you are correct. That will not do the trick. Your son is a US citizen, bring him home and win over cusody in the court of law. Good luck!!!

Shan29 said:
yes legally i am still married. in North Carolina you have to be separated for 1 year before you can file for divorce.
Click to expand...
 
Triple Citizen said:
Assuming you went the "Talaq, talaq, talaq" route, you are correct. That will not do the trick. Your son is a US citizen, bring him home and win over cusody in the court of law. Good luck!!!
Click to expand...

thanks fo ryour adivce. i think my child is still in USA even though my ex wife says he is not in usa. If my child is in maryland where do i need to file the custody papers..
 
Start with your local court. Also report your wife's action (of taking your child out of the country) so that it becomes official. Good luck!!!

Shan29 said:
thanks fo ryour adivce. i think my child is still in USA even though my ex wife says he is not in usa. If my child is in maryland where do i need to file the custody papers..
Click to expand...
 
Shan29 said:
thanks fo ryour adivce. i think my child is still in USA even though my ex wife says he is not in usa. If my child is in maryland where do i need to file the custody papers..
Click to expand...

Since you are in NC, local police where you file the initial complaint as they will have a paper trail for beginners. Follow it through the court and indicate to the Judge the concern you have for you son's well-being. However, if I were in your shoes, contact the Pakistani Embassy and get a copy of your son's birth certificate, focus on getting him US citizenship which will give you more power to screw your wife over custody. In reading your post, she sound unstable and anyone who will tear their child birth certificate is on some illegal substance, excessive bloating and gassy comes to mind...:eek:
 
Shan29,

First, you need good family lawyer. And, I would suggest check following site and educate yourself about divorce, custody etc even if you hire a lawyer

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/north_carolina

Also, who told you that you need to be separated for a year to get a divorce?

And, break all interaction with your spouse. If they try to contact you, you need to tell them to speak to your lawyer.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
usnycus said:
Shan29,

First, you need good family lawyer. And, I would suggest check following site and educate yourself about divorce, custody etc even if you hire a lawyer

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/north_carolina

Also, who told you that you need to be separated for a year to get a divorce?

And, break all interaction with your spouse. If they try to contact you, you need to tell them to speak to your lawyer.
Click to expand...



USNY,

I agree that he needs to educate himself before he even hire a lawyer. I know lot of crappy lawyers who thrive on the ignorance of their clients to rip their nuts off with high fees. You don't want to be billed for divorce sorrow fee which is charged to all couples under 35 years. If you don't know, you are in for some roasting on hot coal...:) I see the cost of divorce in NC can reach up to a $1000, which is like a beginning fee in the DC area.

In most states, a year of seperation is required by most courts in an attempt to have couple work out their marriage before making the final step to divorce. If after a year, the marriage hasn't resolve the issues of contention among spouses, then divorce becomes the final issue to unglue the couple from themselves. So, it is not unusual for people to be told to live seperate for a year before filing for divorce. seperation means living in seperate houses, not under the same roof though....:rolleyes:
 
Al Southner said:
USNY,

.............

In most states, a year of seperation is required by most courts in an attempt to have couple work out their marriage before making the final step to divorce. If after a year, the marriage hasn't resolve the issues of contention among spouses, then divorce becomes the final issue to unglue the couple from themselves. So, it is not unusual for people to be told to live seperate for a year before filing for divorce. seperation means living in seperate houses, not under the same roof though....:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Partly correct.

In most states, one year separation is required for ONLY no-fault divorce. In the OP case, he may be eligible for immediate relief (divorce) on other grounds. Check the link I posted earlier.
 
usnycus said:
Partly correct.

In most states, one year separation is required for ONLY no-fault divorce. In the OP case, he may be eligible for immediate relief (divorce) on other grounds. Check the link I posted earlier.
Click to expand...

thanks your link is very helpful and i am reading through the procedures .
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top