my mother = citizen, my father = resident with cancer, me = no stay

i have a very long story. i have tried many avenues. but the result is the same; the ins does not like my face and told me i can apply for permanent residence again in SEVEN years.

my father is a permanent resident and recently got married to an american citizen. one week ago, this lady became my legal mother by adopting me, a 29swf with no children, no criminal background and the positive list goes on and on.

after a visit to the ins in san antonio, the lady told me she is very sorry to hear my father has cancer, but i must not even think to try and stay here and why did i not tell my embassy before coming here that i wanted to stay.

i have been working on cruise ships for the past three years and have not since been back to south africa.

i discovered my father had cancer and decided i want to try and stay here and work here legally to be with him. you would have sworn i was a criminal when i asked the lady about different things i was considering.

i left so upset and i still am. does this not count for anything?
do they not have their own families, will they not want to do the same thing? must i feel like a criminal to be with my father and new mother?