My friend wants to cancel her husband's green card

indianoverseas

New Member
Hi everyone,
I have a friend who got married about 7 years ago. I think during the early years of her marriage, she had a hard time conceiving and was not have a good marriage. I do not know too many details because during that time, she had become very socially withdrawn and we had lost touch (she stopped receiving phone calls, answering emails, stopped attending social gatherings etc). About two years ago, she saw my mom at a party and got my phone number from her and attempted to get in touch with me. She now lives out of state but we do keep in touch. She has two young kids and recently she opened up to me about her marriage. She told me her husband (who got a green card because of her), just refuses to stay with her here in the United States. He supports her financially (pays rent for her apartment, sends money to feed herself and the kids), but that's about all the support she gets from him. I don't think he was ever physically abusive (I could be wrong), but has caused her a lot of emotional trauma. He is very suspicious of her (even though he lives in India, he keeps tabs on her phone calls, checks her emails, etc), although HE is the one who is acting suspiciously. The reason he gives her for not staying here with her is that he gets bored out of his mind in the United States because according to him, there is nothing much to do here. He is an engineer and works for a company located in the United States, but takes on projects that are in India so he could travel and stay there (as much time away from her and the kids as possible). He doesn't care about seeing his girls grow up. She tells me that his mother is a ruthless woman. Any time she comes here for a visit, all she does is she sits and watches tv at her home and demands to do chores for her (even last year when she was heavily pregnant). When she calls her husband in India, she snatches the phone from her son (my friend's husband) and tells her to stop bothering him. She tells her she has a roof over her head and food to eat and should be thankful for it and not bother her son about coming to live with her in the United States, since he has "nothing to do over there". She fears he already has another woman there.

Her family lives here, but she does not have any moral support from them. Her brothers keep telling her that it's only a matter of time, and things will get better for her. But it's not so simple. Her parents are very old and there is not much they can do. Her brothers are married and her parents live with her brothers. She lived with her brothers for a while, but the setup was getting too inconvenient, so she got her own place now (out-of-state). Only one of the brothers lives in the same state as her, but the rest of her family lives in a different state.

Her husband has an older brother who is married and she told me that his wife refused to apply for a green card for him for 10 years. She knew they were not decent people so she only got him a green card when she felt her marriage was strong. My friend regrets getting a green card for her husband, and feels she should have been a little smarter and made choices like her sister-in-law did.

Her husband is eligible for citizenship now, and he will be here in about a week or so (one of the few reasons he visits is immigration paperwork - he is very diligent about filling out his immigration paperwork on time). The looney is already talking about a third baby and she doesn't want anymore kids with him. She is wondering if anything can be done now. She wants to contact someone in the immigration department to cancel his green card and prevent him from getting his citizenship. Who can she get in touch with?

Any help will be appreciated.

Thanks!
 
If applying under the 3 year rule, as long as he is not officially separated or divorced, and as long as the IO does not suspect anything, he does not have much of an issue.
Yes, she can make life difficult by sending out the letter, but the letter has to reach the right IO (does or will she have the case #?) in the right time. And then he can always apply at the end of 5 years rather than 3. It will be difficult to revoke the GC after 7 years of marriage (unless it still has conditions).

If I were in her position, I would look forward. What do I want with my life? Live like this, or divorce? If the husband got GC, call it charity and move on.
 
She should file for divorce, apply for child support get a career and move on with her life, it seems hard but based on what you say, it's probably the best thing to do.
As per immigration, there's little she can do, the marriage is legit, two kids and he has fulfilled his financial obligations. If he wants to apply for citizenship he can do it, it's just a matter of when, now, or in two years.
 
This is a very common situation. That is, I see guys from my country treat women like this all the time. Sure, she can make life difficult for him by contacting the right IO, but is it worth it? Apparently she has spent almost 7 years of her life with a man who clearly doesnt love her. And I can tell you from experience, the man has another wife and some more kids in India. Once he gets his citizenship, he will divorce your friend and apply for visa for the wife in India. Men in my country do this all the time, some of them are even close friends with me. The point is they dont see anything wrong with what they are doing because in their minds, they are taking care of the woman.

My advice to your friend. Divorce him as soon as possible. In the divorce papers, state everything she has been through, an IO might see it, they might not. It's not worth it to fully pursue him losing his green card since she wont get anything from it. She should have known what she was getting into already, so its time to cut her losses, get as much money as she can from him, divorce him, and move on.
As far as she's a good person, she will find another man who will truly love her and treat her and her daughters well. Life is too short to put up with this sort of bs.

Good luck.
 
I was thinking the same thing -that she should get a divorce and move on. Divorce is stigmatized in our culture, but I will suggest that to her anyway. She does not want an easy life for him, especially after what he made her go thru.
 
I was thinking the same thing -that she should get a divorce and move on. Divorce is stigmatized in our culture, but I will suggest that to her anyway. She does not want an easy life for him, especially after what he made her go thru.

Then she needs to get as much money as she can!!
 
I was thinking the same thing -that she should get a divorce and move on. Divorce is stigmatized in our culture, but I will suggest that to her anyway. She does not want an easy life for him, especially after what he made her go thru.

Whether stigma or not, that seems to be the story here right? What do you think the husband is going to do once citizenship is complete? If divorce is anyway going to happen, it is best to do it at your own time, pace and demands (money, child support, whatever).

Getting in touch with an immigration officer ... not easy. You can send a mail to USCIS, but what will they do with it ... they operate based on an application or receipt number. They have already finished processing the green card years back, and if you send something in reference to that, it will just be filed or destroyed. If the green card still has conditions, then it can go there and do damage when he tries to remove conditions. Or you need the citizenship filing receipt number. If you have that, you can send whatever you want with reference to that case.

But please do realize this ... anyone can send a letter. I can send a letter too. Without a legal separation or divorce, what is the value of that letter? I am sure authorities see 100s of spousal complaints which are then withdrawn the next day. I will say let bygones be bygones and think clearly about future, but if you do want to do damage, a letter or meeting will not cut it (CIS is not a counseling center), you /she has to be prepared to file official complaints / start separation. And even then it depends on whether he has a clear GC or conditional.

ADD : First you have to be clear (clarify) whether the husband GC is conditional or not. Also, how long has he had the GC?
 
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Her husband is eligible for citizenship now, and he will be here in about a week or so (one of the few reasons he visits is immigration paperwork - he is very diligent about filling out his immigration paperwork on time). The looney is already talking about a third baby and she doesn't want anymore kids with him. She is wondering if anything can be done now. She wants to contact someone in the immigration department to cancel his green card and prevent him from getting his citizenship. Who can she get in touch with?

If he does not live in US, how is he eligible for citizenship? I guess he has spent at least 18 months in the last 3 years in USA otherwise he will not be applying. Maybe he is a borderline case with some presence and some absence. If he has any issues on the residency angle, he will be asked for evidence that he maintained residential ties with USA. It is within her rights to not supply that information. Abused people (mentally or otherwise) sometimes think they must have done something wrong. She will have to get out of that and refuse to provide evidence. She can also ask him not to visit her house (a restraining order maybe) ... otherwise he might claim he has been living at that address. She will have to get out of the victim mindset; have a game plan to confront and adhere to it. Sometimes just the threat of a complaint to CIS might put the fear in him.

Again, I am probably thinking too far ahead without knowing the real situation well enough.
 
Thank you, sanjoseaug20, for giving some very good pointers. He has a permanent green card, but I don't know for how long he has had it. I did advice her some of the things you said, like not having a victim mindset and that she has to take control of her life, because in the end it's all upon her ..and the outcome will be what she makes of it.

I dont know how many times he visits her or how long he stayed in the United States. All I know is what she told me - he is going to be here in a week to get his citizenship. His visits seem sporadic. He was here last year when she was having their second child and he was here in January when she was having a surgery.
 
After 7 years of marriage and two children and the 10-year green card being in his hand for years, at this time there is no chance of them cancelling his green card based on his wife's statements about the marriage's problems. If it's going to be cancelled, it would have to be another reason such as spending too much time outside the US without a reentry permit.
 
Divorcing him and moving on with life, though difficult is best path forward for your friend. If he is still an Indian citizen, and if your friend or you are willing; file a case in India. google "498a".
 
All I see is spite and envy here. The lady in question should worry about her own life and to get on with it. With 7 years of marriage, and a green card, she could at most delay his citizenship and not prevent it. If he has a US citizenship she can pursue for money more easily. If he decided not to get US citizenship and stay in India, she would get zilch in child support payments from him. Strategic thinking rather than emotional thinking is called for. And more importantly move on! Life is too short to be bitter and get twisted!
 
After 7 years of marriage and two children and the 10-year green card being in his hand for years

This is where it is slightly murky. The OP says the husband is filing for citizenship as soon as eligible. Maybe the green card was not filed as soon as they got married. Anyway, we do not have details to confirm.
 
This is case of two separate matters being comingled.

Understandably, your friend has been treated badly by her truly despicable husband. By what will denying him citizenship achieve? Will that act get rid of him? You do know, don't you, that there are people who stay in the USA for over multiple decades simply on the basis of their green cards. It might be possible for him to continue doing that. I guess I do not understand why denying the citizenship is so important. It will just be an inconvenience to him, which, presumably, he will overcome anyway. Is it about revenge? If it is, it is a very poorly thought out strategy.

If your wife wants to remove herself from the husband and his abuse, then she should pursue separation and divorce. Yes, I understand the issue of stigma; I hail from the same culture (although there is no one monolithic "Indian culture"). But, if she pursues divorce, afterward, this lady will continue to live in the USA and, hopefully, be able to deal with it a little better than how she would have, had she been back in her native country. A part of emigrating to another country is about expanding horizons, assimilating new values, and going on with life. And, overcoming problems in life, involves courage and effort (and support from friends, perhaps like you).

I always say this to my close friends and relatives in similar situations -- if your fear of the stigma is preventing you from climbing out of the sh*t hole you call marriage, then your problems are not bad enough (and perhaps your husband is not abusive as you make him out to be). When it is dark enough, stigma or no stigma, it will feel like freedom to get out of it.

In summary, this is an issue that pertain to relationship counseling more than it does to immigration and citizenship.
 
He was never physically abusive,he pays her rents and he supports her financially and your friend wants to cancel his green card, and you are on this forum trying to find out a way. From all i have read I don't think your friend deserves a good guy like that. From what i read you friend must be disturbed. If I was married to a woman for seven years and have two kids why would i wish that woman bad , you have two kids together for God sake and your friend is acting like she donated a Liver for this fellow. Its a Green Card something he has shown he does not need. A green card or a Passport does not guarantee success in Life, There are many Natural born citizens living in shelters. Trust me if a guy wants to use a woman for the purpose of getting green card he would not get her pregnant twice (or for that matter stay with her for 7 years) to be paying child support for kids he hardly sees. So tell your friend that she needs to move on and stop hating
 
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HTrust me if a guy wants to use a woman for the purpose of getting green card he would not get her pregnant twice (or for that matter stay with her for 7 years) to be paying child support for kids he hardly sees.

I agree with you on the 7 year part.
But why do you think someone "wanting to use a woman to get a green card" will not get her pregnant ... because of child support? What if the wife did not know how much the husband has, and can not lay claim to that easily. What else?
 
Trust me if a guy wants to use a woman for the purpose of getting green card he would not get her pregnant twice (or for that matter stay with her for 7 years) to be paying child support for kids he hardly sees. So tell your friend that she needs to move on and stop hating

I do not agree that this is good guy (based on what OP has described). Telecommuting while a good option for work, not good for marriage.

Why he would have children; may be to prove that his intention to marry is in good faith and not for green card. Path to citizenship starts with green card. If his intention all along has been to establish his credibility of marriage but, never intended to live with his married wife, then it is immigration fraud at best.
When in marriage, it is not child support but responsibility, i would leave it at that.
To be objective; wife needs to either move on with life and let go of his behaviour, or file a complaint in India. Stigma or not.
 
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