Morality....

I have no kids so my opinion may not be worth anything. Nonetheless, the "C" in the "ABCD" is brought about by the parents, not the culture. I grew up perfectly messed up in India, thanks to my dysfunctional family. In fact, I have not done anything here that I didn't do there. There is no quick-fix to having your kids grow up the way you want i.e. hopping on a plane to across the planet. Learn to respect where you are and be willing to evolve and your kids will do just fine.
 
Don't have kids either, yet! But, this is my view.

The term ABCD is more apt for us FOBs than those who were actually born here or were raised here since childhood. I used to think that these kids (ACDs) are truly confused about which culture to adopt. But, slowly I realised that it is us parents (or to be) who are actually torn between the two cultures. To follow this new stuff and be branded by friends and family back home as "That guy HAS changed!" or keep in tune with the old and be called here as "Soo old fashioned or impractical".

I think we have this view of India (or whichever motherland) that is frozen in time when we left the country. I have often heard people say "This sort of thing never happens in OUR country" or "Our children back home will never do such a thing". But, we fail to realise that in many cases, things far worse happen back home. Present day kids in India are more exposed to the supposed poison of the west than the kids of foreign origin right here in the west. It is when someone tries to mimic something with the idea of being hip and cool, that one goes overboard! And, that is far more dangerous!

It all depends on how involved and level-headed the parents are, in the kids' lives. Even here, among the Indian families, I see extremes. One, where the parents are extremely strict and the kids are itching to break free and never come back. Or, the other, where the kids think that the parents are buffoons who don't know much and hence can be manipulated, and running haywire! Both are extremely bad!

It is not always the environment that has the final say in how the kid gets moulded in life. It is the parent who has that say in any kind of environment. As many have said here, the parents who strike a balance between the two extremes are the ones who raise successful children. Have a set of guidelines with good virtues as the core, let the kids have reasonable (yeah.. I know it is hard to quantify this) amount of freedom and all will be happy. A kid who finds that he/she could do many of the things desired, with the parents' consent and supervision, will never want to throw away the blanket of security that comes with having caring parents.

As far as the education is concerned, I still like the education system back in India, for the lower grades and to an extent at the UG level. Agreed that the system is geared for life in India and is, in many cases, an overload on the children. But, it definitely gives one a solid foundation. One good aspect of education here is the fact that the kids are TAUGHT to ask questions. That is something that is not that heavily emphasised in our system.

Most kids of foreign origin out here, do excel in studies as their counterparts back in the home country. And, in almost all cases, it is very likely to see a good involvement of parents in the kids' education.

Coming to PriyaGC's question (more of a lament) as to why people complain that these kids can't do basic math without a calculator. PriyaGC, it is not that we can not afford calculators but the emphasis is on exercising your brains to solve simple tasks without any aid. Not being able to compute the volume of complex multi-dimensional shape without the aid of a calculator or computer is not a big deal! But, not being able to divide 100 by 4 (YES! THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION) without a calculator IS DEFINITELY A BIGGER DEAL!!!!!

Arriving at the answer to the Nth decimal place without a calculator is not what is expected but the ability to be in the ball park of the answer, without an electronic device, is crucial!

I don't think knowing or learning how to make a wheel is never unnecessary, even in the present day and age!

And, sleepovers don't always have something sexual about them :)

I just rambled on on everything that came to mind. So, please forgive me if this posting is not structured!
 
Folks,

lots of thoughts are floating around, looks like it may not matter a lot where you live here or in India.
Who knows what is going to happen in India after 20 years from now, it is a fast change there also. Take care of certain things and leave rest on luck, One can not control everything in the life.
People put together the terms like:

Respect for individual, Love for kids & family, Peace at home (be patient with your spouse), Values, Strong fundamentals, Guidence to kids, life events, good social environment, Freedom to express.....

I would say this is definitely a good idea to let them visit India to know more out there and choose what they feel is better.

Thanks for sharing your personal experiences,
and I believe the resposibilty goes to the parents as well if they do not have stable family environment at home and kids are messed up.

I left the sweet home when I was 10 and next 20+ years are spend studying/working far away from my town & parents, visited home after long intervals. I really did not have very bad life but family affairs are new to me, It was just my own life. The GC issue will be resolved soon hopefully for us, raising the family is the ultimate task, there is so much to learn out there.

Good luck to all. I hope this thread benefit other people as well as it did to me.

Enjoy your life as it is - Good or bad.
 
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