Lately I have come to realize

W

where_is_my_gc

Registered Users (C)
and frankly speaking not after reading those threads "Why not India...", I have started coming to terms that India is still much a better place.

After living in US for past 6 yrs, I had to come to believe that there can't be any thing better than this as far as standard of living, clean air, beautiful roads, better career opportunity and money are concerned. But if you seriosuly gauge these in terms of your life objectives and satisfaction - you would know that these don't constitute the complete parameters. Being a graduate from IIT, My sole objective was to get into good MNC SW and then come to US, get GC and get settled. Perhaps I was too naive in my decision making that time.

How it changes?

I admit I have been making yearly trip to India. But whenever I come here and after those initial sense of apathy for traffic, airport dirtiness, everyday slowness wander away, I start loving every bit of it. Hell..I can shout at these people and make up with them, I get to see my kind of people (indian) every day, I feel comfortable talking with shopowners about cricket or govt, doodh waala about his bhains illness and why am getting little, haggling with sabji waala, stopping by to watch ganesh puja at traffic joint, going to my favorite joint and mingling with waiters or old friends there, being able to see parents and grandma whenever feel like, seeing the twinkle in the eyes of kids meeting with them, taking a trip down the drive and eat bhelpuri/golgappa and take a ride on taanga, stopping by the playground to watch kids-youngsters playing cricket/football and participating with them. Theres still more...

Point is - at the end of day I come home I feel - yes I have lived my day and enjoyed to the fullest being in my own country. It is the freedom and how you express and feel it! This freedom even getting GC would never be at par with what you'd experience here..simply because of culture and the way we have brought up! May be it would be different with your kids if they grow up there....but think about what we will be depriving them of.

I also believe once you get detached from your home country for long, you tend to lose the the hang of all these. And, it only becomes worse afterwards. I have seen it happening with my friends and family members....

I guess its better late than never. Long back when I was in India, I was watching this anu kapoor antakashri in UK and witnesses so many people crying weeping on some songs... in particular one lady who really was in terrible state - upon being asked later she said - I have missed it for long and I can't make up for it.

Remember what Tom Hanks said in Terminal - "Krakozia is home - I am not afraid of my home!"


cheers : )
 
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How come I hear this talk only from people stuck in GC and not from people with GC. Everybody is responsible for their own decision.
 
how many gc holders visit immigration forum?

But they still discuss and debate these options - if you have encountered them in real
 
meranumkabayega said:
How come I hear this talk only from people stuck in GC and not from people with GC. Everybody is responsible for their own decision.
Click to expand...

May be ppl who have GC don't frequent this board but frequent other boards like http://r2iclub.com ? That website is full of R2I stories of every type of Indian. GCs, Non-GCs, USCs..... I have been reading it for the past 1 month in anticipation of my own R2I and a wealth of info is there.
 
I'm a strong supporter of anybody with PD before Dec 2003 to do an r2i. If enough # of people did that, my PD will become current sooner.

Nothing agaist anybody but I'll help in packing for anybody with a qualifying PD.
 
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Options

Life is all about having options. The more options you have the more you feel in control of your destiny.

There are many great things about this country and were very well put in the initial post of this thread. However there are also some terrible things likewise life in another country.
As Immigrants we are here because we chose to, noone is putting a gun to our heads. We do it since at this point in time it suits our life objectives. Likewise if we get a hostile response to our predicament, our decisions in due course will reflect that. However since I do believe in this country I feel in due course our issue will get addressed largely since it our cause is just.
I believe that people crave many things in life, green cards, money, best education, beauty etc etc in life because they percieve those things give them options.
Think about it for a second.
I have seen people who have US citizenship get better matches than they "deserve", I have seen people with beauty or best education get to the US on account of those assets, we all know of education getting you money, money getting you a green card eg investor visa. In other words one can use any of these advantages to leverage their position in another one.
Ultimately one would like to have the best of all these, though our personal priorities might have a different order ranking.

None of us will lose any of those things we already have without a green card or US citizenship but the latter expands the options available. Hence our angst in my view.
 
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I agree with posmd

I am mechanical engineer working as a computer programmer for about 8 years now.I have applied for GC and waitiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...ng for the approval. I have always wanted to do a master in electronics and move on to become a robotics or automation engineer.Being here, I do not have any doubt this is clearly doable and I have just have to commit the time and money.
On the other hand if I live in a city in India, I am not sure whether I will even think about these options.(Bombay? Chennai? Bangalore?)
US is a great country and life is easier and I will be responsible for what I am.In India there are lots of invisible and surprising factors that come into play on everydays life and it is not so easy as here.
After saying all these and with US advantages, will I ever feel about my home in US as same as in India? No.
I terribly miss the breeze and cool early mornings and hot afternoons of my home town.

I guess I will make up my mind one way or another soon.
Just wanted to say how I feel..(Too much of personal information I know.)
 
well you are not alone and there is nothing new, have seen movie Antz, it just take one Ant to think radical :))

we are all in a conveyor belt in a assembly line, we sacrifice many simple things in life and work hard to get the best school, graduate join a MNC come to use struggle/cry/ for GC, eventually we all get GC, 90% of legal immigrants (H1Bs) get GCs itz only a matter of time

but itz all about choices, courage and priorities,

At this time economy India has tremendous advantage , but speaking just for me, I am too addicted to the comforts of US and I am too tired of taking any risk.

so itz all about getting out of assembly belt, one needs to dig deep inside them to find out if they have in it,

a diehard desire for FREEDOM
 
I think if you have enough assets(about rs. 2 crores) you can live like a king in india...(bad roads, pollution, crime etc will not go away...but you can choose to ignore it)

same thing is true if you have 1-2 million dollars in usa....you can get a investor visa...do your own business and live a good life...

but if you are dependent on your salary it becomes a bit difficult to accumulate assets in india.....compared to usa....due to the income/cost of living ratio being better in usa.

my plan B is to give up dependency on GC (will apply but not hesitate to change employer if required). but still work for 3-4 years(or as long as i can take it) save most of it......and if GC process still stinks in usa....go to another country or india....

in other words.....need to stop depending on GC for a while....till things become a bit fair...
 
Mytake

I have developed short to mid term objectives and working on that dilengtly

1) Invest in India (At least make a destination there and buy there )
2) Buy a house here in U.S. if u can ( Buying house a never a bad deal as long as u can easily afford it )
3) Raise the family (Important stuff in life anyway..I mean have kids....)
4) Try that spouse is educated instead of sitting idle. Sitting 5-6 years idle for a person in his/her primetime is really waste.


Remember,
- Nobody has become rich by saving money in bank.
- Time never come back once it is gone
- You can't change destiny
- More than 1 billion people living in India in less than 1/8th of U.S. Area size still living ( don't know if happy :) )

Thanks
 
my2cents said:
-
-Nobody has become rich by saving money in bank.
- You can't change destiny
Thanks
Click to expand...

i disagree with the above 2, for #1, do some math, to see what will happen if you save $20k/yr for 20-40 years......you will realise how easy it is to become a millionaire...


i dont beleive in destiny........of course i do agree that you cannot fight fate.....you may keep planning and implementing....but things may not be in your favor....and all your efforts go waste.....but that does not mean.....that you should not be positive and keep trying...

destiny means....that everything is predetermined......that means either my destiny says i am screwed and hence there is not point in putting efforts or my destiny says i rock....and again no need to put effort...

if above definition of destiny is wrong, my apologies..
 
I disagree on one aspect

Investing ... simply putting money in a bank and expecting a meagre interest on it will not help. Saving a million in 20-40 years may not be enough. Buying a house is better if it is appreciating.

techy2468 said:
i disagree with the above 2, for #1, do some math, to see what will happen if you save $20k/yr for 20-40 years......you will realise how easy it is to become a millionaire...


i dont beleive in destiny........of course i do agree that you cannot fight fate.....you may keep planning and implementing....but things may not be in your favor....and all your efforts go waste.....but that does not mean.....that you should not be positive and keep trying...

destiny means....that everything is predetermined......that means either my destiny says i am screwed and hence there is not point in putting efforts or my destiny says i rock....and again no need to put effort...

if above definition of destiny is wrong, my apologies..
Click to expand...
 
Options

Good thread.. Good discussion..

I remember reading about a Jew in a Nazi concentration camp who went around sharing the single peice of bread that he got. He made it through the ordeal. When interviewed after liberation, he said that even though hatred, bigotry and all malice was all around him, he never allowed these to get inside him.

To further the comments from previous posts in this thread, we look for options..i.e. hope when there is despair and lack of control. In things like GC where we have no control, we cannot let the despair of the wait get inside us. We have to stand firm and believe that we can succeed...anywhere or there are other countries.. Keep those options.. we need to keep our hopes us.. and believe in ourselves..

Options allow us to get our control back..

But also, realistically, if we all had our Green Cards, we might look for more $ jobs, more satisfying jobs or go live in the mountains.. but at the end of the day, we think that GC will give us even more options to be happier..

When we think about it, we have most of the reasons to be happy already.. We probably won't change much after getting the Green card if we are not happy already..

lets make an effort to enjoy life as is.. with or without the GC..

Lets not compare.. everyone's dream is different.. we are all wired differently.. If we compare and try to match up to others, we will always be catching up.. and never leading..

Life happens when we are waiting for something.... Lets not wait too long else life pass us by..
 
Totally agree ...

puvathoor said:
Good thread.. Good discussion..

I remember reading about a Jew in a Nazi concentration camp who went around sharing the single peice of bread that he got. He made it through the ordeal. When interviewed after liberation, he said that even though hatred, bigotry and all malice was all around him, he never allowed these to get inside him.

To further the comments from previous posts in this thread, we look for options..i.e. hope when there is despair and lack of control. In things like GC where we have no control, we cannot let the despair of the wait get inside us. We have to stand firm and believe that we can succeed...anywhere or there are other countries.. Keep those options.. we need to keep our hopes us.. and believe in ourselves..

Options allow us to get our control back..

But also, realistically, if we all had our Green Cards, we might look for more $ jobs, more satisfying jobs or go live in the mountains.. but at the end of the day, we think that GC will give us even more options to be happier..

When we think about it, we have most of the reasons to be happy already.. We probably won't change much after getting the Green card if we are not happy already..

lets make an effort to enjoy life as is.. with or without the GC..

Lets not compare.. everyone's dream is different.. we are all wired differently.. If we compare and try to match up to others, we will always be catching up.. and never leading..

Life happens when we are waiting for something.... Lets not wait too long else life pass us by..
Click to expand...

puvathoor,

You are absolutely correct my friend. Each one of us are at different stages of our lives and our priorities are different. We just happen to share the pain caused by the prolonged GC process. If we think hard enough, we will realize that the GC will solve only some of lifes easier problems (stagnant career, more freedom etc). The GC will not however, change who we are (atleast I hope not) nor will it solve lifes real problems that I am sure all of us face on a daily basis. Earlier on in the process I made the mistake of being obsessed with this process, as the years have gone by I have realized that it was a waste of time. I was wasting time over something I had no control over. I could have used all that time to better my life and tackle other more relevant problems that I was facing. Over the past year I have begun to do that and I am much happier. I still get a little frustrated when I think about this mess but then I think about all the other things that I am doing right now and that makes it better.

I will not lie and say that the GC process is irrelevant for me but it does not consume me as much. I learnt it the hard way ..

regards,

saras
 
where_is_my_gc,
It is a good thing you realize. Most don't. Strictly speaking, GC shouldn't matter. It doesn't to me. I have realized that I can be happy or miserable anywhere. It is upto me. I pity those who try to get spouses here based on GC or those who marry for one. They are desparate. The good thing is that we all have the power to choose.

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation" . Thoreau was right on the money.

"Desperation is the most widespread and undiagnosed disease in the world." - Yours truely.
 
msh626........you are the enlightened one........thanks for sharing the solution to all problems......my god....its so easy ....we bow to you...
 
Well, if you're gonna be sarcastic, do it well.

Anyway, you personally shouldn't have a problem since you have mentioned that your wife is an EB-1. Good luck!
 
interesting and valid points all through the discussion. i remember the term "pyrrhic victory"..we all might get GC at some point...but at what cost.
if it means you sacrifice the meat of your working age in a shoddy job...then getting GC is useless.
its like getting married at the age of 40 when you can't raise your equipment without viagara.
i wonder why so many indians leave or want to leave america 4-5 yrs after getting GC. maybe i will understand once i get my own.
my own experience is i was frustrated when my 140 was not filed by company and after that they held on to my 485. i was frustrated for a while when the dates retrogressed. i was waiting for the 180 day period, but that day came and went and i am still with my old employer....
i guess one of these days my GC will come (sooner than later) as the dates have been current for me for the past 2-3 months...
now i worry about other things than GC. ..

In short what i have realised is
there is always some worry (small or large) that occupies your mind. I was never a worry free man. when one problem solves another one occupies its place.

for Tamil folks here, its the song "kikku eruthe" from rajini movie comes to my mind.
 
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where_is_my_gc said:
and frankly speaking not after reading those threads "Why not India...", I have started coming to terms that India is still much a better place.

After living in US for past 6 yrs, I had to come to believe that there can't be any thing better than this as far as standard of living, clean air, beautiful roads, better career opportunity and money are concerned. But if you seriosuly gauge these in terms of your life objectives and satisfaction - you would know that these don't constitute the complete parameters. Being a graduate from IIT, My sole objective was to get into good MNC SW and then come to US, get GC and get settled. Perhaps I was too naive in my decision making that time.

How it changes?

I admit I have been making yearly trip to India. But whenever I come here and after those initial sense of apathy for traffic, airport dirtiness, everyday slowness wander away, I start loving every bit of it. Hell..I can shout at these people and make up with them, I get to see my kind of people (indian) every day, I feel comfortable talking with shopowners about cricket or govt, doodh waala about his bhains illness and why am getting little, haggling with sabji waala, stopping by to watch ganesh puja at traffic joint, going to my favorite joint and mingling with waiters or old friends there, being able to see parents and grandma whenever feel like, seeing the twinkle in the eyes of kids meeting with them, taking a trip down the drive and eat bhelpuri/golgappa and take a ride on taanga, stopping by the playground to watch kids-youngsters playing cricket/football and participating with them. Theres still more...

Point is - at the end of day I come home I feel - yes I have lived my day and enjoyed to the fullest being in my own country. It is the freedom and how you express and feel it! This freedom even getting GC would never be at par with what you'd experience here..simply because of culture and the way we have brought up! May be it would be different with your kids if they grow up there....but think about what we will be depriving them of.

I also believe once you get detached from your home country for long, you tend to lose the the hang of all these. And, it only becomes worse afterwards. I have seen it happening with my friends and family members....

I guess its better late than never. Long back when I was in India, I was watching this anu kapoor antakashri in UK and witnesses so many people crying weeping on some songs... in particular one lady who really was in terrible state - upon being asked later she said - I have missed it for long and I can't make up for it.

Remember what Tom Hanks said in Terminal - "Krakozia is home - I am not afraid of my home!"


cheers : )
Click to expand...


you know i am not sure if it happens to people from other countries and other cultures. somehow i get the feeling that Indians living here are always like the "thrishanku" from the epics. They are neither here nor there.
they seem to like indian cultural values yet don't want to take the decision to go back, maybe the 3-4 generation indians born here will be going around here like the Irish or italian americans....who knows...its a bit far off for indian ethnic group to assimilate totally into american society.
 
michael_holding said:
you know i am not sure if it happens to people from other countries and other cultures. somehow i get the feeling that Indians living here are always like the "thrishanku" from the epics. They are neither here nor there.
they seem to like indian cultural values yet don't want to take the decision to go back, maybe the 3-4 generation indians born here will be going around here like the Irish or italian americans....who knows...its a bit far off for indian ethnic group to assimilate totally into american society.
Click to expand...

I guess its more to do with the culture and tradition we are brought up in which I admit is different thn others.

I also strongly hold the opinion that the damage which we do to ourselves by our recurring thoughts on gc is immense and sometmes irrepairable. You may not realize it in short term but it takes heavy toll on you. Believe me! It eventually develops into chronic stress syndrome where these recurring thoughts keep hitting you every now and then. Point is - You and your mind are not free anymore and yes it does damage your body/immune system and thinking power.

Whether its getting frustrated with company on GC process or debating in advance the movement in next visa bulletin (silliest thing I have ever seen) or visiting these forums first time in monring or thinking when the dates are going to move fwd or perhaps holding the dream that I will be Ok once I get GC or I will switch job. Even the last point is not true - its just your perspective considering the situation you are in.

People who have embroiled themselves in all this should ask them - When was the last time I was really happy! You may be able to answer this qs truthfully if you have spent considerable amount of time (> 1 yr or so) thinking about GC.

peace
 
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