If you file I-485, you can file I-765 just on the basis of already filed I-485.
If you do not file I-485, J-2 holder needs to provide info why he or she needs work permit. It is OK to apply for work permit to cover things like entertainment expences, but not to cover basic needs of J-2 holder.
Nope. But you might need a proof (that they could request as a RFE) that you have more than enough funds to provide support for J-2 holder without employment for him/her.
Just to make sure you understand, I-485 is a green card application, something that is much more complex and cannot be done without an underlying immigrant visa petition. Moreover, J-1 and J-2 visas often carry a two year home residency requirement that prohibits filing of a green card application without obtaining a waiver. But in your case, I believe you are in need of a C-5 category EAD for your wife so I-485 doesn't apply.
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