divorce with TD status

C

canadianmom

New Member
My husband has a 3 year TN, and our eldest child and I have TD status. Our younger child is a USC. I want to leave my husband and move back to Canada, but I'm concerned that he could prevent me from doing so.

I know that I will need a letter from him, stating that he consents to my taking the children across the border without him. I'm concerned that if I tell him that I'm leaving him, he will not give me his consent and I will be forced to stay in the US, because I'm not leaving our children behind.

Does anyone know if I can be forced to remain in the US? Can he be legally compelled to allow me to take our children back to Canada? If I remain in the US, I will be financially dependent on him until he moves back to Canada, which would mean I'd be moving back home too. I don't have the education or skills to apply for a TN of my own.

Additionally, if I file for divorce here, USCIS will tell me to leave the country, since I cannot stay as TD if I'm not married to him. I was told this by an attorney here. I do not want to remain in an unhappy and emotionally abusive marriage, and I don't want to leave the children with their father. He's not physically abusive of them, but he's verbally abusive of all of us.
 
canadianmom said:
I'm concerned that if I tell him that I'm leaving him, he will not give me his consent and I will be forced to stay in the US, because I'm not leaving our children behind.
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You will not be forced to remain in the US. You can leave, or you can stay in the US illegally. Either way the choice is yours. It's an unfortunate situation.

Does anyone know if I can be forced to remain in the US?
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No.

Can he be legally compelled to allow me to take our children back to Canada?
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I suppose a family court judge could require him to do so. You need a good family law attorney.
 
If he won't let me take the kids back to Canada, I can't go. I am not willing to leave them with their father, considering how he treats all of us.

Unfortunately, he's got control of all of our finances, so getting an attorney is next to impossible. I can't spend the money without him knowing about it. He doesn't know that I want to divorce him yet. I have nowhere to go here - no family and very few friends, none of whom are able to take me or my kids.

I've been advised by a few people to make up a family emergency in Canada to get his consent for me to take the kids across the border without him, then not return. I don't want to have to go that route, in case it is later used against me or he presses parental kidnapping charges.
 
I am not a lawyer and I just wanted to share my experience.

I have been going through a divorce since 2007 in the State of New York. I am a man and I wanted to keep the children with me in the US.

I went to the NYC's family court and filed a petition to have joint custody but physical custody to the children (3 of them).
Being a man, I was afraid they would not let me keep the children. They went though all the procedures to make sure I was a good father (Psychologist, Children Assigned Lawyers etc...)
They gave me physical custody and the mother of my children went back to Canada while here on TD. After a year, my little one decided that she wanted to stay with her mom and now she lives in Canada.

My advise is:
- go through legal routes as much as you can,
- if he is violent look for shelters.
- Do not cross the border you will put yourself into troubles and -- he will keep the children --.
- You can file a petition without going through a divorce
- you can also go through mediation after filing the petition, in NYC, mediation is free as long as you need it.

Filing a petition will allow you to have legal papers and will facilitate your re-entry to the US without questions from the Customs.
The mother of my children was never questionned when crossing the borders with that paperwork. (order or petition)

Depending on your state, the US takes children's matter pretty seriously.
You can also be assigned a lawyer if you don't have the appropriate financial resources and also an interpret if you are from the 'belle province'

I wish you and your family a good luck.
 
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