brokenheart123
New Member
Hello,
I'm kind of in a difficult situation at the moment. I want to ask for your opinions whether to stay married or finalize my divorce.
Let me first summarize our marriage. We met in late 2006, and I moved into his house in July 2008. We got married in August 2008. After our marriage, I had to move away to another city for college (as a transfer student). During my year at new college, we flew to see each other often. And we have lots of proofs of tickets and receipts from his credit card statement. My husband paid for all of my expenses from my tuition to plane tickets to personal expenses. Towards the end of my first year at this college, we had fights, and lots of arguments. We planned our summer trip to go to each other's home countries, but that never happened. (I have proofs of tickets bought and returned)
So I visited my home country on my own during summer. At this time, we just kind of fell apart, but I thought everything would get better once I came back home. In July 2009, my husband picked me up at the airport, and everything seemed great. Although I sensed that he was acting distant, I led on a normal life, cleaning and cooking for him. It was one night that I heard a text message from his phone. He was not in the room, and I knew it was wrong to do, but I checked it, and it was from someone saying "I miss you" in his language. At that very moment, my husband walked in and he was extremely angry at me. We fought violently for the phone because I wanted to read more about it, but he wouldn't let me. One thing led to another. Next thing I knew, he would tell me that he was seeing "the girl" and told me not to wait for him for dinner. That's when I told him to let's go and sign the divorce paper, in which he did with no objection. It'd take 6 months after signing the paper for the divorce to be finalized.
In August 2009, my husband drove me and my belongings to new apartment in another city. I was getting ready for my last year in college. We were supposed to live in this apartment together. My husband signed the contract, but there I was living by myself in the apartment. Even though my husband told me he would not live there with me and he wanted us to be over, the apartment was way too expensive for one person and so he gave me a lump sum amount of money to help pay for half of my rent.
It was a lonely year for me. We didn't really talk much since then. I flew back to the city once and wanted to see him, but he told me to forget about him. Four months passed by. One day, he emailed me and asked how I was doing. We then started to exchange emails and it turned out that that girl and him didn't work out and now he wanted to get back with me. We still never saw each other physically (only through webcam occasionally).
Just recently I got into another relationship. And just recently my husband really wants me back. He wrote me a long email explaining how he was not in the right state of mind, and how he felt guilty of leaving me by myself in a new city. He felt sorry for what he did and wanted to make it up by helping me by staying married with me until I get my GC. But that way I would feel like I'm faking the marriage since I'm in a relationship with someone else. However, my husband is kind of unstable sometimes. Sometimes, he would be nice and really willing to do everything so I can stay in the US and sometimes, he would talk about my new boyfriend and I'd sense that he doesn't want to help me out and I end up with someone else.
Another thing is I honestly don't have much proofs for our marriage at this point. We're a pretty traditional couple. I do housework, and he pays the bills. He only puts my name in his car for immigration purpose (since I don't even know how to drive). We made our joint account together, but my husband always managed the financial part (since I don't really know much about it). We closed our joint account in August 2009 around the time we signed the divorce paper and he took my name out of his car. So basically, I don't have any proofs of joint account or any properties or any insurance at the moment, just a bunch of his credit card statements and my rent contract that he signed. No pictures taken after August 2009 together. Lots of emails and instant messenger conversations.
So my questions are
1. Should I stay married until I receive a GC? or Should I finalize my divorce and apply for a waiver?
2. If I do stay married and build more evidence and proofs of my (now not really real) marriage, would my chance of receiving a GC be higher than getting divorce and apply for a waiver?
3. If I finalize my divorce now, and from what you have read above, do you think I have enough proofs to provide the immigration that our marriage was bona fide?
4. What kind of proofs should I get to strengthen my case? What else can I do?
Thank you very much for reading this. I know it's very long. But thank you
I'm kind of in a difficult situation at the moment. I want to ask for your opinions whether to stay married or finalize my divorce.
Let me first summarize our marriage. We met in late 2006, and I moved into his house in July 2008. We got married in August 2008. After our marriage, I had to move away to another city for college (as a transfer student). During my year at new college, we flew to see each other often. And we have lots of proofs of tickets and receipts from his credit card statement. My husband paid for all of my expenses from my tuition to plane tickets to personal expenses. Towards the end of my first year at this college, we had fights, and lots of arguments. We planned our summer trip to go to each other's home countries, but that never happened. (I have proofs of tickets bought and returned)
So I visited my home country on my own during summer. At this time, we just kind of fell apart, but I thought everything would get better once I came back home. In July 2009, my husband picked me up at the airport, and everything seemed great. Although I sensed that he was acting distant, I led on a normal life, cleaning and cooking for him. It was one night that I heard a text message from his phone. He was not in the room, and I knew it was wrong to do, but I checked it, and it was from someone saying "I miss you" in his language. At that very moment, my husband walked in and he was extremely angry at me. We fought violently for the phone because I wanted to read more about it, but he wouldn't let me. One thing led to another. Next thing I knew, he would tell me that he was seeing "the girl" and told me not to wait for him for dinner. That's when I told him to let's go and sign the divorce paper, in which he did with no objection. It'd take 6 months after signing the paper for the divorce to be finalized.
In August 2009, my husband drove me and my belongings to new apartment in another city. I was getting ready for my last year in college. We were supposed to live in this apartment together. My husband signed the contract, but there I was living by myself in the apartment. Even though my husband told me he would not live there with me and he wanted us to be over, the apartment was way too expensive for one person and so he gave me a lump sum amount of money to help pay for half of my rent.
It was a lonely year for me. We didn't really talk much since then. I flew back to the city once and wanted to see him, but he told me to forget about him. Four months passed by. One day, he emailed me and asked how I was doing. We then started to exchange emails and it turned out that that girl and him didn't work out and now he wanted to get back with me. We still never saw each other physically (only through webcam occasionally).
Just recently I got into another relationship. And just recently my husband really wants me back. He wrote me a long email explaining how he was not in the right state of mind, and how he felt guilty of leaving me by myself in a new city. He felt sorry for what he did and wanted to make it up by helping me by staying married with me until I get my GC. But that way I would feel like I'm faking the marriage since I'm in a relationship with someone else. However, my husband is kind of unstable sometimes. Sometimes, he would be nice and really willing to do everything so I can stay in the US and sometimes, he would talk about my new boyfriend and I'd sense that he doesn't want to help me out and I end up with someone else.
Another thing is I honestly don't have much proofs for our marriage at this point. We're a pretty traditional couple. I do housework, and he pays the bills. He only puts my name in his car for immigration purpose (since I don't even know how to drive). We made our joint account together, but my husband always managed the financial part (since I don't really know much about it). We closed our joint account in August 2009 around the time we signed the divorce paper and he took my name out of his car. So basically, I don't have any proofs of joint account or any properties or any insurance at the moment, just a bunch of his credit card statements and my rent contract that he signed. No pictures taken after August 2009 together. Lots of emails and instant messenger conversations.
So my questions are
1. Should I stay married until I receive a GC? or Should I finalize my divorce and apply for a waiver?
2. If I do stay married and build more evidence and proofs of my (now not really real) marriage, would my chance of receiving a GC be higher than getting divorce and apply for a waiver?
3. If I finalize my divorce now, and from what you have read above, do you think I have enough proofs to provide the immigration that our marriage was bona fide?
4. What kind of proofs should I get to strengthen my case? What else can I do?
Thank you very much for reading this. I know it's very long. But thank you
