chanses after divorce with conditional GC

N

NYgirl

Registered Users (C)
I'm in a very stupid situation. 2 weeks ago I've got a conditional green card. Thanx God. My husband is good enough, by sometimes his behavior is anormal. We're married for 6 months and he's already filed divorce 2 times without any reason; almost every 2 weeks he comes home and tells me he wants to divorce. But in 2-3 days he asks me to forgive him, he cant live without me... and so on. And after it happens again and again. Yesterday I tried to speak with him about it and realized he has a psychological barrier. In other words, he is afraid of being married. Moreover, he belives that we have to be divorsed by may 2007 (our anniversary) because after one-year-marriage it will be more difficult to divorse. I can't live like on a bomb. Every single day I expect somthing "new" from my unpredictable spouse. I'll go crazy soon, if I'm not yet.
I wonder if I can annul our marriage and file to remove conditions by myself? There is no abuse or smth like that. I searched the forum's archive and found out that it was impossible if the marriage was less than 2 years. Is it true?
 
NYgirl said:
I wonder if I can annul our marriage and file to remove conditions by myself?
Click to expand...

Yes u can

NYgirl said:
There is no abuse or smth like that. I searched the forum's archive and found out that it was impossible if the marriage was less than 2 years. Is it true?
Click to expand...

That is not true. It's possible to remove conditions after divorce. U would have to prove the marriage was entered into in good faith and not for the purpose of securing immigration benefits. Which is why u getting a divorce soon would be detrimental to ur good-faith argument...considering it's been just weeks since u got ur conditional GC. I'd suggest u ride ur luck till his may 2007 deadline and hope he has a change of heart. What d'u know...the longer u stay with him the more he gets used to the idea of being married.

Yall go seek counseling and stuff like that...and retain evidence that u tried to make it work.
 
Sounds like a crazy bastard. If he doesn't want to be married why did he go through with it in the first place?
 
dr_lha said:
Sounds like a crazy bastard. If he doesn't want to be married why did he go through with it in the first place?
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I was thinking the same thing...Ma'of fact I wanted to bring that up...but I've resolved not to be judgemental.

What's with all the deadlines and flip-flopping...like it's a contract or sum'n.
 
dr_lha said:
Sounds like a crazy bastard. If he doesn't want to be married why did he go through with it in the first place?
Click to expand...

Funny, but this is serious :( Maybe he is bipolar- drag his butt to a shrink ASAP
:D
 
Yall go seek counseling and stuff like that...and retain evidence that u tried to make it work

where i can find these services? should we go there together or just me?
 
I totally relate 2 u.I am myself going thru these deadlines....its stupid...n it feels aweful....to take one day at a time....for GOD sakes....life is to enjoy and not to suffer....if ur divorce is contested....it takes 6-12 months to resolve.....I wud say....u give it some time....that ways its easy for u to apply for I-751(Removing Conditions on ur GC).....also...make sure u have as enuf joint documents....that helps ur case too...the reason why he wants to do it within a year .....its because then he doesnt have to pay any alimony....the more u stay with him....the more is the alimony you can claim for....

Gud luck 2 u...I know its tuf time for u....just take it as a phase that will pass one day...:)....
 
the worst is that we almost dont have any joint docs exept medical and dental insurances.. he says if he's going to divorce I dont need to remove conditions in 2 years... he thinks me dont need any docs because I'll go back to my country in a year... even more, none of his friends knows that we're married.. he didnt tell it to anyone... when we show up together everybody thinks I'm his girlfriend, but not a wife.
 
It's always possible to get a divorce and apply for the lifting of conditions based on a waiver. If it will be succesful is another matter. When he filed for those divorces, did he actually file with courts so you have the documentation, or did he just threaten you with it? The documentation might be some form of proof of how he is treating you. He's using divorce as a means to threaten you and terrorise you. That's emotional abuse right here. You guys should get counseling if you haven't already, this sounds like it needs professional guidance.

In California there's the option of the summary dissolution. Which is a simplified and easier form of divorce, it does however have some restriction. You can't have too much debt together that was accumalated after you got married, or have children together, for instance. There are some other restrictions too, but look into it, because you can get that done in the first 5 years of marriage. More info here: http://courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/divorce/summary.htm

You'll have to look into the law in your state, to determine if you can do that there.
 
Please advice

Hi ,
One of my friend is married and settled in US on a dependent visa (H-4),she is actually expecting her first baby in a couple of months time.
She has been married for about 3 yrs now and due to some family issues rom her in-laws,she is threatened to be divorced and make her return back to her home country.However her husband is good at times that he says to her he loves her and cant think of life without her ....but when he comes into play with his parents,he totally forgets her and plans on divorce.
My friends concerns is ,she actually does not want to return back to her country nro she wants her husband and in-laws to think she is helpless or under their mercy!!!but she knows that if her baby is born here in US, it would become a US citizen and with that though her husband divorces her ,can she still be in US under the pretence of caring for her child who will be a US citizen and also get separation from her husband!

Is it possible for her to get divorce and still stay in US?
Can anyone advise?
 
When he filed for those divorces, did he actually file with courts so you have the documentation, or did he just threaten you with it?

He filed 2 times to our county court.. and after he did it I went with him to court to cansel our divorse. Sure, I have these papers from court. Thanx for information. I didnt know I could use them as evidence of abuse.
He also bought one-way tickets for the nearest date so I couldnt go to court. But I don't have them now. All I have are emails from him (he noticed me that he'd bought tickets and asked me to pick them up) and from airline company (about booking and payment). I don't know if I can use them too?
 
Yes you can use the emails. Please keep any documentation you have between the two of you as this sounds like a real syco person. As others have said, seek counselling and try and take it one day at a time. All the best :)
 
As others have said, seek counselling and try and take it one day at a time

I can do it, but my husband never will go there
 
NYgirl said:
where i can find these services? should we go there together or just me?
Click to expand...


U could go to a pastor(if u're a christian or something)....and have documents saying yall were there. In addition, u could go for a marriage counselling session...a shrink etc. keep receipts

It'd be better to go together.

Edit: U could send him email requesting that u both go for counselling. He'll probably refuse...just keep copies of the email he sends u back to show that he refused to go together for counselling.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
NYgirl said:
I'm in a very stupid situation. 2 weeks ago I've got a conditional green card. Thanx God. My husband is good enough, by sometimes his behavior is anormal. We're married for 6 months and he's already filed divorce 2 times without any reason; almost every 2 weeks he comes home and tells me he wants to divorce. But in 2-3 days he asks me to forgive him, he cant live without me... and so on. And after it happens again and again. Yesterday I tried to speak with him about it and realized he has a psychological barrier. In other words, he is afraid of being married. Moreover, he belives that we have to be divorsed by may 2007 (our anniversary) because after one-year-marriage it will be more difficult to divorse. I can't live like on a bomb. Every single day I expect somthing "new" from my unpredictable spouse. I'll go crazy soon, if I'm not yet.
I wonder if I can annul our marriage and file to remove conditions by myself? There is no abuse or smth like that. I searched the forum's archive and found out that it was impossible if the marriage was less than 2 years. Is it true?
Click to expand...
NYgirl...

(((HUGS)))

You are saying there's no abuse... From what you have said, there clearly is. Your husband is troubled and has serious issues - a rational person would never say or do things he does. It is your choice what you want to do, but you do not have to put up with it.

If you want to retain your green card, you can remove conditions without him, if you have enough evidence of abuse. Emotional abuse qualifies as well, it doesn't have to be physical.

Do you have any witnesses who will be able to write affidavits and describe how he's treating you? Did you ever try to talk to people at support networks for battered women or shelters? There's tons of these organizations in the U.S., and they will provide counselling and other services for you at low cost or free. If you want to work it out, family counselling is a good option, but then again, you are saying your husband doesn't want to do it.

He's threatening you with deportation and refuses to cooperate. It's abuse without a doubt.

You may wanna talk to an immigration lawyer. If you can't afford one, find Catholic Charities in your area - they handle tons of battered immigrant spouses cases, and they provide legal help at a very low cost (sliding scale).

Again, it is up to you what to do. It's disturbing that your husband FILED for divorce twice within 6 months of marriage :(

I wish you all the best, and please, be strong!
 
I have a similar problem, My wife and I are been married for 3 years, and I aplay
for permanent residence wish everything when ok. I'm just waiting for name check this was in dallas under DORA program last year 11/15/06.
my problem is that my wife just tell me she is lesbian and refuses to go to counseling. I'm really sad and mad, I still love her but what can i do ??
can I still get my green card, is not my foul that she is lesbian! what you guys think? what can i do?
 
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