Just couple of quick preliminary comments (hopefully in the evening at home I will have more time to actually do some editing on the file you sent me).
Seems to me that you are still pushing for adjudication in court and only as an alternative to remand with specific instructions. I probably would go at this stage with wathsnamecheck's recommendation to ask only to add the critical sentence to compel FBI to finish the name check in 30 days, or even a weeker one would do the job: requesting USCIS to expedite with FBI the name check.
There are couple of things left from the materials you used which I believe, doesn't apply to your case. You say something that you want to contribute to the national security of this country. Never before you mentioned that you have the right qualification for this and you actually applied for such a job in the Department of Energy, where a security clearence is required (this is from my draft). Toward the end (copied from a different document) you identify yourself as a menmber of a class action lawsuit, which again, I believe that doesn't apply to you.
It is OK to use other documents, but when we copy from these, it should be a little bit more than just "copy+paste".
Hi Team,
Thank you so much for your review and comments on the file. I have already made some changes as recommended.
I will be adding Senator Obama's proposed bill as an exhibit in my motion and will be mentioning the reason behind this bill. The reason for saying "Motion for Reconsideration" because that is what written in the local rules "Motions for Rehearing or Reconsideration". I do not think there will be any remedy from senator / congress person. They already said that they can not ask for expedite name check.
Good catching the irrelevant items paz. Last night I was unable to see these mistakes. I do not like the way text is flowing. I also saw some redundancies in different paragraphs. Also, does each numbered paragraph need a title, do I need to start with "Introduction", need your expert help here. Do I need to prioritize the numbered paragraphs, like the most important paragraph need to be number 1?
Thank you so much team.