ROC approaching, marriage heading to divorce, need advise on my options.

[immiresearch]

Hello all,
This site really helped me through the AOS processs and i hope somebody can just help think through this position am in right now.
I have been married to my USC wife since Oct. 2010 and it was through this i got my 2yrs green card. My 90days ROC window will open in late january. A lot have happened to our marriage since i got my green card. She had cheated and still cheating on me. I have caught her with a guy in our matrimonial home and in fact, she was pregnant for this same guy she is cheating with. We (in fact, I) have try to work it with no success.
Knowing that my ROC is coming and the fact that am still going to need her for the process, i traded softly with her and reluctant in getting a divorce. But i think it has gotten to a point where i feel saturated with the pains and hurt and the fact she is not showing any chance of change, so am ready to go for the divorce. Our marriage was based on love and not for the sake of green card. All her family including her father likes me and i have all the proofs to prove the genuity of my marriage. She actually agreed to assist in getting the condition lifted on my green card.
In order to go through this successfully and avoid making any costly mistakes, i have these following questions:

1) Does it matter if am the one that legally file for the divorce and file for I-751 waiver? As an evidence, i have the discharge paper when she was discharged from hospital after aborting the pregnancy she had with the guy, the police report when they both involved in a car accident, this happen in one of the times she was sleeping in this guy's house. I have the audio recordings of her confesssion about the pregnancy and all these couple with appartment lease, bills in both our names, car title and insurance, checking and credit account etc.

2) Do you think filing a no-fault divorce or at-fault divorce (if i file the divorce based on her adultery and she in fact said she dont have any problem with this) will have any effect on how long it will take the divorce to be final or on my ROC?

 

[ananga73]

If as you said she agreed to assist you in getting the condition removed, why don't you wait for the removal of conditions before filing for divorce? It will only take about another six or so months. Does not make sense to me.

To answer your questions:

1. No it does not matter. It's all very subjective and they will be looking at the evidence submitted to prove bonafides.

2. It all depends on the reviewing officer. If he senses there was fraud, the petition will be scrutinized thoroughly regardless of whether it was no-fault divorce or otherwise.

Hello all,...................... All her family including her father likes me and i have all the proofs to prove the genuity of my marriage. She actually agreed to assist in getting the condition lifted on my green card.
In order to go through this successfully and avoid making any costly mistakes, i have these following questions:

1) Does it matter if am the one that legally file for the divorce and file for I-751 waiver? As an evidence, i have the discharge paper when she was discharged from hospital after aborting the pregnancy she had with the guy, the police report when they both involved in a car accident, this happen in one of the times she was sleeping in this guy's house. I have the audio recordings of her confesssion about the pregnancy and all these couple with appartment lease, bills in both our names, car title and insurance, checking and credit account etc.

2) Do you think filing a no-fault divorce or at-fault divorce (if i file the divorce based on her adultery and she in fact said she dont have any problem with this) will have any effect on how long it will take the divorce to be final or on my ROC?

 

[immiresearch]

If as you said she agreed to assist you in getting the condition removed, why don't you wait for the removal of conditions before filing for divorce? It will only take about another six or so months. Does not make sense to me.

To answer your questions:

1. No it does not matter. It's all very subjective and they will be looking at the evidence submitted to prove bonafides.

2. It all depends on the reviewing officer. If he senses there was fraud, the petition will be scrutinized thoroughly regardless of whether it was no-fault divorce or otherwise.

Thanks for your reply! and i perfectlty undetstand when you said it doesnt make sense to you that i want to file the divorce even thought she said she will assist with process.

What happen is she want to get the divorce but she doesnt have the money right now. If she have the money right now, she will file the paperwork right now. As she said, she is waiting for her tax return. I decide to get the divorce only when 1) am just so tired of her BS. She doesnt sleep in the house anymore even though she still have all her stuffs in the apartment and because of my so called evidence, i feel i shouldnt have problem proving that our marriage was real (i just hope).

Secondly, i would have love to wait in order to avoid any problems with the ROC, but what if we file the ROC together in say February (and VSC takes like 9months at the moment) and in the middle of everything, she finally find money for the divorce? That will make the whole thing messy and complicated, a scenerio i dont want.
For some reason she want a divorce and ofcourse she said she will help but i dont want to put my hope into that.

 

[ananga73]

Your explanation makes sense. Good luck with the process and my sympathies on the breakdown of your marriage.

Cheers.

Thanks for your reply! and i perfectlty undetstand when you said it doesnt make sense to you that i want to file the divorce even thought she said she will assist with process.

What happen is she want to get the divorce but she doesnt have the money right now. If she have the money right now, she will file the paperwork right now. As she said, she is waiting for her tax return. I decide to get the divorce only when 1) am just so tired of her BS. She doesnt sleep in the house anymore even though she still have all her stuffs in the apartment and because of my so called evidence, i feel i shouldnt have problem proving that our marriage was real (i just hope).

Secondly, i would have love to wait in order to avoid any problems with the ROC, but what if we file the ROC together in say February (and VSC takes like 9months at the moment) and in the middle of everything, she finally find money for the divorce? That will make the whole thing messy and complicated, a scenerio i dont want.
For some reason she want a divorce and ofcourse she said she will help but i dont want to put my hope into that.

 

[immiresearch]

Thank you and i really appreciate yoyr time. But regarding proving her adutery to immigration or for anybody for that matter, do you think the discharge papers from the hospital, her confessions and the police report on the accident with the guy are enough as evidence? She said she would admit to that if she is called by immigration but i dont want to belief that. She once said she love me before she make a complete 360 turn. So am trying to prepare for everything without her input.

Also am just thinking really about starting the divorce myelf or let her file the divorce. Am just trying to make everything sensible to the immigration.I dont have problem proving my marriage is not a fraud and that i tried my best to make it work but the fact that you dont know what is going on in the head of someone who will decide your fate is killing. So am thinking if i should just go ahead with the divorce or let her do it??

Am just confused and really thinking hard on the whole thing as i cant believe am talking about divorce with this woman! I dont think i will ever get married in my life again.

Will appreciate if other members can contribute too. The opinion of everyone is really important. Thanks

 

[ananga73]

Remember that to file the waiver, your divorce must be finalized first. I don;t think you have enough time to finalize the divorce unless you start today. They will automatically revoke your green card [it's done by a computer] and subsequently put you in removal proceedings the day after your conditional card expires. Think carefully about your next steps AND either consult an attorney or read the divorce threads on this forum thoroughly.

http://forums.immigration.com/showthread.php?288214-I-751-waiver-(divorce)-thread

Also I don't think you should initially show all those sordid details about her confession, abortion, adultery to immigration unless they imply you used the lady only for your immigration benefit and are divorcing her because now you got green card. Keep the divorce details simple. Immigration is not a divorce court and do not need the inner details unless demanded. What they need to know is there is a divorce, the marriage was bonafide with abundant proof, and copy of divorce ruling [which will provide a concise reason for the divorce].

Good luck.

But regarding proving her adutery to immigration or for anybody for that matter, do you think the discharge papers from the hospital, her confessions and the police report on the accident with the guy are enough as evidence? ......

So am thinking if i should just go ahead with the divorce or let her do it??

 

[whitemimauz3]

To ananga73
why don't you wait for the removal of conditions before filing for divorce?
I dont think you should be advising somebody to do that. It is their life, let them live life as they want. They are getting immigration benefit by virtue or marriage to USC not because otherwise. If it is a bonafide marriage, I am sure OP might overcome conditions removal situation even though he/she is divorced.

 

[immiresearch]

Remember that to file the waiver, your divorce must be finalized first. I don;t think you have enough time to finalize the divorce unless you start today. They will automatically revoke your green card [it's done by a computer] and subsequently put you in removal proceedings the day after your conditional card expires. Think carefully about your next steps AND either consult an attorney or read the divorce threads on this forum thoroughly.

http://forums.immigration.com/showthread.php?288214-I-751-waiver-(divorce)-thread

Also I don't think you should initially show all those sordid details about her confession, abortion, adultery to immigration unless they imply you used the lady only for your immigration benefit and are divorcing her because now you got green card. Keep the divorce details simple. Immigration is not a divorce court and do not need the inner details unless demanded. What they need to know is there is a divorce, the marriage was bonafide with abundant proof, and copy of divorce ruling [which will provide a concise reason for the divorce].

Good luck.

Thanks again. Thinking carefully is exactly what am trying to do with this thread- to make this process as error free as possible and to learn from the experience of other forum members like yourself.

Concerning the divorce being finalize before filing the ROC, i live in NJ and if we are able to agree on the divorce conditions (nothing major here, just if she agree with adultery as the reason for divorce and some electronics and furnitures to share) to avoid a contested divorce, the whole thing should be finalized, at most, april next year. Hopefully it wont take that long.

I actually take a trip to the court house today for the divorce paperwork but they are close (i should have known i guess) so i will go there on monday.

And i agree with you on not going detailed withvthe initial eveidence for the ROC. Am just gonna take it a step at a time. I will be doing both the divorce and I-751 petition myself without an attorney. Thats just too much for me. Am counting on this site and the contributions of other members to get through this as easy as possible.