What to do - spouse is insane

[akatu]

Meredith,

whether you deserve or not a green card this is the subject of law and its interpretation. All moral sides of your story is your own personal business unless you need specific advice of that character, but that would be the wrong website. Some ppl pose themselve as a prist and preach you on your morality and intentions. Do not listen to them, just do what you have to do. Find a good lawyer who knows the law and can help you to find the way out.

 

[JohnnyCash]

I was never been ILLEGAL in U.S. Can't you tell from my English, JohnnyCash?

No, I cannot tell from your English that you have never been illegal in the US. And I can bet that nobody can tell this too. Anyone out there?

What someone's command on English language has anything to do with his/her illegal stay in the US? If someone has very good command on English, then it could only prove that English is their first language, but it has nothing to do whatsoever with their immigration status.

Do you think Aussie, British, Irishs and Canadian don't live here illegally just because they are so good in English because of it being their first language?

What kind of justification is this?


"If I am not making effort to secure the green card, I would NOT be in my right mind [matter of fact, I don't think anyone would be in his/her right mind]"

Tell me you are kidding. Do you know how many people around the world are desperate to have a green card? Yet still they are still in their right mind and don't want to secure it a wrong way (many of them).

 

[JohnnyCash]

I need a helping hand to assist me to pick up all the pieces [a figure of speech] by advising me and get on my life.

I don't know WHAT exactly you want to hear out from people in order for you to "pick up all the pieces". And what part of my opinions you don't understand?

I've already told you very clearly that if you want all this torture to you to stop and want to get on with your life (as you said here), then the only option for you is-to leave/divorce your husband immediately as he is the reason for all this mess and torture in your life. However, leaving him means no green card to you at all thru this marriage.

But if "picking up all the pieces" means you are talking about how to get a green card being in this miserable situation of yours, then you would need to manage yourself to stay in the marriage, one way or another, as you have been able to manage yourself to stay in the marriage so far even if it is so hard on you. At least, this would give you a green card.

So, the choice is yours. If you are thinking about getting green card thru I-360 then you really have no case for I-360. You have to have documented situations for INS to consider on your abuse claims. You can go to as many attorneys as you want, but they will tell you the same what I'm saying here. Only few attorneys will give you false hope on I-360 so that they could make money out of you. Choice is yours.

Immigration is a legal matter, which has nothing to do with morals, sympathetic and other matters. And as a legal point of view, you will not have a case for a green card if you would leave your husband.

Hope you to see that I'm trying to help you out despite of having different tone.

 

[bps01]

Meredith

I see that you have a lot of replies but no one answered your question. Jonny Cash is a perfect example how paralegals behave in an Imm law firm, they do some applications for INS and then they think they are as good as the lawyers and (in jonny's case better than the lawyer.. ) Leaving personal egos of posters aside.

I would suggest you get a lawyer for your Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) application. This is the only remedy against asshole USC , who think they can control their immigrant spouses just caz of the INS. But before you go to the lawyer you need to make your case so the lawyer will take it and not screw you around as a lot of them just want your money.

First, you need to prove that you have suffered b/c of this mental condition, there is nothing in the law that says that injury has to be physical, it can be mental. Thus , you need to go to a shrink and talk to him as it is having an effect on you, get his report which shows you suffered, affidavits from USC friends that know both of you and can testify he is abusive.

Second, You need to prove he has a mental condition that has gone out of hand and he has sought medical treatment and may not be able to control himself all the time. As for his claim that his medical records are confidential under the privacy laws, well, since you are his wife you have a right to see them. I really don’t know what relations you have with his doctor but since he is mentally unstable he can give you a copy without disclosing it to him else ask your lawyer he may find a better way.

Third, you need to have evidence that shows you entered the marriage in good faith. Also if you pay for his medical or medicine keep records of that too.

Dear, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) application is independent of your pending GC and your hubby will never know you are doing this and they will tell you the result independent of your pending GC application.

Good Luck.

Disclaimer: This in not legal advice , just opinions, follow them after you have consulted your attorney.

 

[Meredith]

Meredith

Jonny Cash is a perfect example how paralegals behave in an Imm law firm,.

That is what I am thinking too. Obsessive hostile argumentative for nothing.

I would suggest you get a lawyer for your Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) application. This is the only remedy against asshole USC , who think they can control their immigrant spouses just caz of the INS. But before you go to the lawyer you need to make your case so the lawyer will take it and not screw you around as a lot of them just want your money.

First, you need to prove that you have suffered b/c of this mental condition, there is nothing in the law that says that injury has to be physical, it can be mental. Thus , you need to go to a shrink and talk to him as it is having an effect on you, get his report which shows you suffered, affidavits from USC friends that know both of you and can testify he is abusive.

Second, You need to prove he has a mental condition that has gone out of hand and he has sought medical treatment and may not be able to control himself all the time. As for his claim that his medical records are confidential under the privacy laws, well, since you are his wife you have a right to see them. I really don’t know what relations you have with his doctor but since he is mentally unstable he can give you a copy without disclosing it to him else ask your lawyer he may find a better way.

Third, you need to have evidence that shows you entered the marriage in good faith. Also if you pay for his medical or medicine keep records of that too.

Dear, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) application is independent of your pending GC and your hubby will never know you are doing this and they will tell you the result independent of your pending GC application.

Good Luck.

Disclaimer: This in not legal advice , just opinions, follow them after you have consulted your attorney.

Thank you very much, bps01. It clears my mind.

Also, thanks for akatu and xkuger.

Big thanks for everyone who has tried to help. Best luck to all of you too.

 

[mant0478]

I understand your situation

Meridith, I do not have answer to your question but just wanted to wish that things get better for you and your husband. I understand what you mean when you say you are depleted, taking care of someone with mental illness can drain every drop of energy, hope and positive attitude in life. There is good chance of your husband improving with medication and counseling. I almost gave up hope of my wife who was suffering from mental illness for the last 4 years but after going through the darkest period, I almost lost her and gave up hope on her recovering and leading a normal life by grace of dr.'s/medications/god she started getting better and she is able to lead somewhat normal life, so I hope that the situation gets better for you and your husband as well.

I sponsered her green card so my situation is not exactly the same as yours that is why I do not have the answer to your question. Are you working on EAD or H1B? If possible you should apply for H1B and start your greencard process through your employer, so even If your husband withdraws the petition you can still continue to stay in the country.


KSB.

 

[mant0478]

I understand your situation

Meridith, I do not have answer to your question but just wanted to wish that things get better for you and your husband. I understand what you mean when you say you are depleted, taking care of someone with mental illness can drain every drop of energy, hope and positive attitude in life. There is good chance of your husband improving with medication and counseling. I almost gave up hope of my wife who was suffering from mental illness for the last 4 years but after going through the darkest period, I almost lost her and gave up hope on her recovering and leading a normal life by grace of dr.'s/medications/god she started getting better and she is able to lead somewhat normal life, so I hope that the situation gets better for you and your husband as well.

I sponsered her green card so my situation is not exactly the same as yours that is why I do not have the answer to your question. Are you working on EAD or H1B? If possible you should apply for H1B and start your greencard process through your employer, so even If your husband withdraws the petition you can still continue to stay in the country.


KSB.

 

[Meredith]

I understand what you mean when you say you are depleted, taking care of someone with mental illness can drain every drop of energy, hope and positive attitude in life. ... I almost gave up hope of my wife who was suffering from mental illness for the last 4 years ...

I sponsered her green card so my situation is not exactly the same as yours ...

KSB.

Thank you very much for the understanding. To tell you the truth - I prefer to be beaten up than dealing with mental illness. They hurt whoever care for them.

It sickens my stomach following some of the replies. So, I didn't check this website for a while. In addition, I am so sorry for what a fight I have brought to Problem2006.