RobinFromNY
New Member
I am looking for advice about what to do about marriage fraud.
I have an adult cousin with slight cognitive impairment as a result of a car accident when she was a teenager. If you just met her, you wouldn't necessarily notice anything right away though you might find her a little odd. She's actually fairly high-achieving academically (graduated from college), but she's had trouble dating because of the way the accident affected interpersonal social interactions.
Anyway, a couple of years ago, she went on a 2-week church trip overseas to a poor country where she met a man who took a lot of interest in her and continued contacting her when she got back to the US. He aggressively pursued her via internet courtship, saying he wanted to marry her. Eventually, he convinced her to visit him for 4 weeks. While she was over there, he persuaded her to marry him, and she came back and filed for a fiance visa for him and for his 9 year-old son from (what he claims is) a previous marriage.
I was very concerned throughout this process but hoping for the best because I want my cousin to be happy.
He arrived in the United States 5 months ago. They do not live together. She lives by herself, and he and his son live nearby with some people who I have learned are actually family members of his from his home country, many of them here illegally. After he had been here a couple of months, I asked my cousin why I hadn't heard anything about wedding plans, and she said that she and this man had gone down to city hall a week after he arrived and gotten "married" because they were required to by immigration but that they both wanted to wait to save up money for a "real" church wedding. Until then, they aren't living together or having sex out of respect for their religious beliefs (my cousin volunteered this information--I told you she has social interaction issues!).
My cousin has told me that the church wedding will probably be another 8 months from now, conveniently right before she has to move to a different city for a year for a job issue. I asked whether he was going to come with her to the new city, and she said that he was not because he didn't want to take his son out of school and wanted to continue trying to find work in their current city and so was going to stay behind while she moved hundreds of miles away.
I am very concerned about my cousin. I don't know what the rules are, but it seems likely to me that getting married at city hall while not considering yourself married or acting married is probably not allowed under the terms of the fiance visa he arrived on. It also seems to me very likely this man may be leading her on, not really intending ever to live with her as a real husband and just dragging things out until it's safe to divorce.
I want to report this man to immigration, but I also don't want to get my cousin in trouble. I've tried expressing concern to my cousin, but her impairment makes it difficult, and I'm also afraid if I push too hard that she'll shut me out completely. I believe she really loves this man, but I think she's being used, and I don't know what to do.
I have an adult cousin with slight cognitive impairment as a result of a car accident when she was a teenager. If you just met her, you wouldn't necessarily notice anything right away though you might find her a little odd. She's actually fairly high-achieving academically (graduated from college), but she's had trouble dating because of the way the accident affected interpersonal social interactions.
Anyway, a couple of years ago, she went on a 2-week church trip overseas to a poor country where she met a man who took a lot of interest in her and continued contacting her when she got back to the US. He aggressively pursued her via internet courtship, saying he wanted to marry her. Eventually, he convinced her to visit him for 4 weeks. While she was over there, he persuaded her to marry him, and she came back and filed for a fiance visa for him and for his 9 year-old son from (what he claims is) a previous marriage.
I was very concerned throughout this process but hoping for the best because I want my cousin to be happy.
He arrived in the United States 5 months ago. They do not live together. She lives by herself, and he and his son live nearby with some people who I have learned are actually family members of his from his home country, many of them here illegally. After he had been here a couple of months, I asked my cousin why I hadn't heard anything about wedding plans, and she said that she and this man had gone down to city hall a week after he arrived and gotten "married" because they were required to by immigration but that they both wanted to wait to save up money for a "real" church wedding. Until then, they aren't living together or having sex out of respect for their religious beliefs (my cousin volunteered this information--I told you she has social interaction issues!).
My cousin has told me that the church wedding will probably be another 8 months from now, conveniently right before she has to move to a different city for a year for a job issue. I asked whether he was going to come with her to the new city, and she said that he was not because he didn't want to take his son out of school and wanted to continue trying to find work in their current city and so was going to stay behind while she moved hundreds of miles away.
I am very concerned about my cousin. I don't know what the rules are, but it seems likely to me that getting married at city hall while not considering yourself married or acting married is probably not allowed under the terms of the fiance visa he arrived on. It also seems to me very likely this man may be leading her on, not really intending ever to live with her as a real husband and just dragging things out until it's safe to divorce.
I want to report this man to immigration, but I also don't want to get my cousin in trouble. I've tried expressing concern to my cousin, but her impairment makes it difficult, and I'm also afraid if I push too hard that she'll shut me out completely. I believe she really loves this man, but I think she's being used, and I don't know what to do.