Nice joke

[fizk]

Hi guys, I'm visiting here after a long time, hope everyone is doing fine. It's Friday;here is a joke for you,nice one.

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named
chief of the Communist Party in China.


HU'S ON FIRST
By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of
China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new
leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in
the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new
leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of
milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at
the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the
phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too.
Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the
Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

 

[patienceGC]

Thats good

Here is another one :

=====================================
This happened about a month or two ago near Lonavala (India), and even though it
sounds like something out
of the X Files or from Alfred Hitchcock Presents... it's real !
This guy drives from Bombay to Pune and decides not to take the new
expressway as he wants to see the
scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reaches the mountains his car
breaks down - he's stranded miles
from nowhere.

Having no choice he starts walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a
lift to the nearest human abitation.
It's dark and raining and pretty soon he's wet and shivering. The night
rolls on and no car goes by, the monsoon
rains are so strong he can hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly he sees a car coming towards him. It slows and then stops next to
him - without thinking the guy opens
the car's door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leans forward to thank
the person who had saved him when he realizes there is nobody behind the
wheel!!!

Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine,
the car starts moving slowly.
The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a curve coming (remember, this is
in the hills and there is a
steep, steep drop beyond the curve).

Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life.
He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand
appears through the window and
moves the wheel. The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road
to the next bend. The guy, now
paralyzed in terror,watches how the hand appears every time they are before
a curve and moves the steering
wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.

Finally, the guy sees lights ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches open
the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard
as he can towards the lights. It's a small town. Wet and in shock goes to a
roadside eatery, which is open, and asks for a drink. They find some hooch
and give him a shot. And he starts telling
whoever is in the dhabba about the horrible experience he's just been
through.

A silence envelops everybody when they realize the guy isn't drunk, and is
really frightened - he's crying and shaking.
So they give him more hooch and talk about what they should do, whether to
call the police or find a priest, or what.

But just then two guys (santa & banta singh) walk into the eatery. And one says
to the other "Look, Banta - that's the jerk
that got in the car when we were pushing it."


(PS: Santa and Banta are the Indian equivalents of Beavis and Butthead)