in love, confuzed and frustrated

M

mona_lisa

New Member
Ok let me try this again,

Im a 20 year old f1 student and came here in Jan, 07.
In march i met someone very special and we've been together for 6 months. I love him very much and not too long ago he proposed to me. We decided we were going to get our own place as soon as we get the paperwork done but here are so many thoughts running through my head and concerns that literally keep me up at night,

would the uscis think this marriage is a sham cuz im so young and im getting married so soon? or has there been other cases like this too so i'd be fine?

Can we apply for aos as soon as we get married and get our own place? im asking this bcuz in many interviews they ask about things that u can only answer if u've lived with the person for a long time but what if u just moved in together?

We plan on havin a simple marriage (me and him in cityhall), cuz we simply cant afford a real weddin right now but it will happen some day down the road, will this be a problem? And should we have witnesses?

Another thing is... I'm 20 and he's 22, and he's of a different race. I so hope this is not a red flag because we're both young and race should really not be an issue when it comes to love.

Any help, advice, and suggestions would be much appreciated!!! :)
 
is he an US citizen? USCIS will certainly inquire about certain things... like not knowing each other for long, small wedding with no family involved, different religious belief and it is up to you to prove that your marriage is real. These things I mentioned will work against you. By the time you are married and move in together, you need to start getting bills, insurance, leases or titles, in both of your names... along with financial documents (savings accounts and such) in both names. To prove ties.

But it is up to you, to prove the relationship. I met my wife for 8 months before getting married, and applied for AOS after 2 months of being married. 4 months later, I got my Green Card. You will have to show those proof and be interviewed. It is up to you.

On another note... if you two can not afford a real wedding, how will you afford a house? and more so, how is he going to fill out the I-864 for you.

These are things you need to consider.
 
mona_lisa said:
Ok let me try this again,

Im a 20 year old f1 student and came here in Jan, 07.
In march i met someone very special and we've been together for 6 months. I love him very much and not too long ago he proposed to me. We decided we were going to get our own place as soon as we get the paperwork done but here are so many thoughts running through my head and concerns that literally keep me up at night,

would the uscis think this marriage is a sham cuz im so young and im getting married so soon? or has there been other cases like this too so i'd be fine?

Can we apply for aos as soon as we get married and get our own place? im asking this bcuz in many interviews they ask about things that u can only answer if u've lived with the person for a long time but what if u just moved in together?

We plan on havin a simple marriage (me and him in cityhall), cuz we simply cant afford a real weddin right now but it will happen some day down the road, will this be a problem? And should we have witnesses?

Another thing is... I'm 20 and he's 22, and he's of a different race. I so hope this is not a red flag because we're both young and race should really not be an issue when it comes to love.

Any help, advice, and suggestions would be much appreciated!!! :)
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I am not a specialist, but I saw your previous thread and nobody responded yet (because they are all sleeping I guess).

Anyway, here are my two cents on this.

I do not think there is an age minimum. Only age "thing" I know about is for the sponsor having to be at least 21 and if not you would need a co-sponsor.

The number of days, months or years you met, could raise some flags (depending on your interviewer) at the interview. The interview is about trying to convince them that the marriages are legit. You would just have to have as much evidence of bona fide marriage (lease, bank account, pictures,...).

You're an F1 student so you should have a SSN so you should be able to have a joint bank account and lease.

If you think that you will not be able to convince them of a bona fide marriage now, you can always wait to send out the paperwork if you are still in good status with immigration.

Note: I am not telling you whether to get married now or later, I am strictly talking to you about the paperwork. When to get married is up to you and your man to decide.
 
thanks for responding..

Yes he's a usc and we're both christian

Although i ca't afford a huge wedding we can def afford the paperwork and we're not getting a house, we're going to lease an apartment (i live in the city).

We want a small and simple weddin as possible for now, do u guys think it will be ok if only some of the family members from his side attends, and 1 relative from my side (my uncle in the u.s.)?

and did most people from this forum throw huge weddings with family members from both sides attending?

I am def getting married soon but will take ur advice Constructus, and wait with the paperwork until we're real established..
 
My friend was in your situation ML, he brought some family & friends over here for his wedding though.

He had his interview last week & was told he was approved but he could be waiting 2weeks,2months or 2years! He got his on Thursday!

Good luck!
 
thank u so much for posting that... that is defiately a relief and inspiration to hear someone in my shoes succesfully adjusting their status,

if u dont mind me asking, how old was he, how long was he in the states for before he married her and how long were they together before they got married?

thanks!
 
mona_lisa said:
thanks for responding..

Yes he's a usc and we're both christian

Although i ca't afford a huge wedding we can def afford the paperwork and we're not getting a house, we're going to lease an apartment (i live in the city).

We want a small and simple weddin as possible for now, do u guys think it will be ok if only some of the family members from his side attends, and 1 relative from my side (my uncle in the u.s.)?

and did most people from this forum throw huge weddings with family members from both sides attending?

I am def getting married soon but will take ur advice Constructus, and wait with the paperwork until we're real established..
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A friend of mine who is USC met his wife 10 years ago in europe. Got married in the US in 2002 at city hall, then applied for AOS 2 months later and there were no problems at all.

Just to clarify, what I said in previous post about considering waiting for paperwork was not advice on my behalf. You do what you want to do. I was just giving you all the options. I just said if YOU DO NOT FEEL YOU HAVE ENOUGH EVIDENCE YOU COULD WAIT and build that evidence until YOU are satisfied with it. If you feel confident you go for it. I wasn't trying to influence you on any decision.

Religion and race have (not officially at least) no impact on LOVE, so I think that won't be a problem.
 
Religion and race, do not have an impact. But, if a person is a jew and the other a muslim, and get married. You would think it would raise a flag as in how are these people really "compatible".
 
i see ur point, and thank god we both got the same religion,
but then again, do they really ask what ur religion is?
 
Our story

I filed I-485 just after getting married (I had been admitted under a K-1 fiance visa). My wife (a US Citizen) and I had decided that the United States was where we would reside after getting married hence filing for Adjustment of Status was the way to go.

We had been dating for 9 months before I entered on a fiance visa. It did not matter that it was a short amount of time - during this 9-month period I was ble to come once a month to the US on a Visa Waiver.

It took an exceptionally LONG time to the interview (27 months) because as newlyweds we moved around a little bit partly for professional reasons and on the way the I-485 went through 3 Service Centers (filed with Nebraska, transferred to Texas then to Vermont). At the time of the interview we had been married for over two years and had gone through so much that the interview was mostly a formality - if we had been together through tumultuous times we would stay married for the long run (what I wish to the both of you).

Let me try to get to the point: the I-485 process has very much to do with your deepest beliefs, i.e. are both of you most sincerely convinced that you want to be married "for as long as you both shall live" and that you indeed want your home to be together in the United States, which logically should show in your marital life.

There are thousands of stories about how two people have met, dated and got married. Every story is very particular and special. Ours is soon getting to the nine-year mark and I do not regret any single day of it. The details of how long you have dated and how many people have attended your wedding are not, in my opinion, essential. The essential is between the spouses - the wedding day is your day. There were 100 people from my wife's family and friends in her rural hometown. I only had 6 friends and relatives who had crossed the Atlantic to get to rural Oklahoma for that special day - I wish there had been more but it was not possible.

The religion details should matter only to you. My wife is Southern Baptist and I grew up Catholic and now am non-Denominational. What matters is that we share the same faith and go to the same church.

Best wishes to both of you.
----------------------
Detroit DO - NSC
12/19/1997 First met my wife-to-be
March 1998 Proposed
09/28/1998 Entered into the USA on a K-1 Visa
12/19/1998 Marriage
12/24/1998 Filed I-130, I-485 and I-765 in OKC
01/03/1999 Moved to Texas (TSC)
05/25/2000 Moved to Pennsylvania (VSC)
11/01/2000 Moved to New Jersey
03/19/2001 Interview - I-485 approved
March 2003 GC received
03/16/2007 N-400 sent to NSC
03/20/2007 Priority Date
03/23/2007 Notice of Action letter received
03/23/2007 FP letter received
04/12/2007 FP done
07/20/2007 Interview Letter Received
09/19/2007 Interview passed :)
10/26/2007 Oath Date :)
 
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV)[/FONT]
 
Alright, today I shall not give my opinion about "how long to wait" before marriage because as some of you know I consider anything less than 6 years too short ... (:p)

But to the point, mona_lisa, the USCIS just wants you to prove you have a good faith marriage. There's no specific evidence that's required, as long as it fits the general context of a good faith marriage. As I remember, a couple months ago someone who brought too little evidence to their interview was told to be creative to send in more evidence by mail before he got approved.

Some of the easy things you can do ... if you have credit cards, add the other person as an authorized user, then have the cards with same account # and both names as evidence. You can also buy savings bonds for as little as $25 and have them registered in co-ownership, in both names, makes for good evidence too. The USCIS also looks at if you are familiar with each other's families, so family pictures of you with his family and vice versa would help, if you have the wedding by yourselves ... but definitely he needs to know details about your family and you about his. Moving in together and having a common lease to show to the USCIS is also a good thing. Good luck!
 
About the wedding ceremony. I had a civil court marriage first. But 8 people from my wife's family were present. You should consider having some family there. And take pictures!
 
My husband & I had our ceremony in the home of my best friend and it was presided by our local Justice of the Peace. We each had our best friend as our witness and my 2 sons from my first marriage were present. That was it! It was exactly the wedding that we wanted and we will be celebrating our 6th anniversary next month!

Our lawyer told us that it is not necessary to have a big church affair with lots of friends and family. The wedding is supposed to be special and meaningful to the couple, not to USCIS!
 
NativeTexan said:
My husband & I had our ceremony in the home of my best friend and it was presided by our local Justice of the Peace. We each had our best friend as our witness and my 2 sons from my first marriage were present. That was it! It was exactly the wedding that we wanted and we will be celebrating our 6th anniversary next month!

Our lawyer told us that it is not necessary to have a big church affair with lots of friends and family. The wedding is supposed to be special and meaningful to the couple, not to USCIS!
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AGREED!!!

My friend had no friends and family at the ceremony, and it worked fine. As long as he had everything else to prove sincere marriage.
 
A wedding is one of the most important moments in a person's life.

It makes sense you would want to share it with friends and family. It does not have to be a party of 500... but even 2 guests will be better than none.
 
PraetorianXI said:
A wedding is one of the most important moments in a person's life.

It makes sense you would want to share it with friends and family. It does not have to be a party of 500... but even 2 guests will be better than none.
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Is it an important moment to you, or to your friends?

Whether you have people there or not does make your marriage a solid one. Since I believe its YOUR day, the way you want to live it and the way you want to celebrate it is your own business. Some people go to Vegas for their honeymoon (like my wife and I). Others go to Hawaii (like we will for second honeymoon), and others go nowhere. There is not a way to get married.

It only makes (more) sense to have more proof for USCIS (although not NECESSARY), but it doesn't MAKE SENSE to HAVE to share that moment with anybody in particular. People are different. Some want the big party, others don't.

Note: The veracity of a union does not bear a linear relation to the number of people at your ceremony. If that were the case, ELIZABETH TAYLOR wouldn't have had 9 different husbands.

IMO.
 
Different opinions I guess... based on culture maybe? In some south American countries, for a bride and groom to "elope" would mean that they are doing something against their family (behind their backs) and pretty much will be cut off from the family.

Here is the US, families are not as knit-together as in other countries.
 
PraetorianXI said:
Different opinions I guess... based on culture maybe? In some south American countries, for a bride and groom to "elope" would mean that they are doing something against their family (behind their backs) and pretty much will be cut off from the family.

Here is the US, families are not as knit-together as in other countries.
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"True that".

But I think it goes beyond entire countries. What I mean is within same countries there are different mentalities some want things others don't.
 
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