helpMe :-( Complex question :-(

Thank you Alex. I will.

I have found a fund which I can create and start depositing it needs few details which I hope I would be able to find...like latest address, Child's bank details before maturity withdrawal and I think I would be able to get that information in the future before too long.

One of JohnyCash points reminds me, let me know, presenting this information would this information relevant or useful or harmful?

I filed a divorce case in the country where we got married. almost a year after the separation. The case also requests the court to decide the child custody issue along with the divorce. By this time, she moved to a different country. So my lawyer had to keep sending the notice to the public newspaper for the case to start. After almost 15 months case got thrown out saying that my "docimile requirements are not met" because I was living in the US by then. This case was just stressful and costly proceeding resulted in nothing. Would this information be relevant at all?
 
more help !!

Hello JohnyCash/Alex,
tell me how this would work?

I send so far, may emails to my ex- in the last four days. I am sleeping with this thoughts and waking up with them:)

Back to the point, I sent her many emails requesting her for information required for filling the N-400 form. I am also requesting information for setting up a Children future fund, also sending finacial support. MAINLY I explained to her about the future benefits of US citizenship for the child in the future[[this helped more than anything, Alex your point]] .....ALL learned from this forum:) This forum is a blessing for me.

My ex- responded after many of my mails, she will think about it :)
I get the feeling that she will yield, In the event, she provides all the information....Is it acceptable to tell the immigration officer about financial support. I am going to put $$ in a fund retroactively for all nine years support which I cannot draw only the child or the guardian(my ex-) can draw. But this fund would have started only two weeks before the interview. Do you think, this is acceptable? I am doing this in any case, I am just not sure will it hurt my N-400 case or strengthen it?

In any case, things are already getting better I feel. Once the communication is opened, I can pursuade my ex- to accept amicably some custody of the child as well. She responded reasonable only too busy with her current life.
 
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Help-me, your questions tell me that you still struggle with focusing what really matters here (in my opinion). Don't bother thinking if this financial support could 'strenghten' your case - it is really important that your attitude matures beyond how your actions will affect YOU.
Understandably you are worried about your interview though since you realized that not mentioning your own child in the application will put you on a rough spot. Forget about any last minute 'buy-out' option in the moral context. The financial support is intended purely to benefit directly and indirectly ONLY your child. I dislike to say, and I am even not sure if this is good advice, the one thing that may put you in a better light is a notarized English statement of the child mother that you two parents reached an agreement and that she refused offers to accept financial support. You may have kept the fund you describe as '$$' on whatever account with the intention to give it to your child. In order to prove and manifest that for your child you came to the conclusion to create a 'one-way fund'. Any statement I would only present if you would be directly accused of not supporting your child as a separated parent should. I don't like the thought that you would use your ex-wife to benefit and accomodate your future ... however if what she had to write is the plain truth, there is no major objection to write it down. Although, be prepared, you may not be disappointed or upset if she choses to do nothing for you.
Your words indicate that you know what is right and wrong .... if you would fail your child again you will sink much lower than you can imagine. On the other hand if you place your focus on what truley matters you may actually rise to a new level. The U.S. citizenship will not make you a happier nor a better person.

Alex
 
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Thanks Alex. I can ask her a letter, she should not have problem giving it (i think).

I only wrote the things which I think are relevant for the naturalization. The parts I left out are...
I have sent may emails me finding a job in her country and other options, discussing possibilities. She has not responded to any of it but I will continue to write.

I do not even like the thought of forcing her to give me custody thru court. She raised the child for almost 9 years on her own. She has every right to put me through pain before heeding. Court will only cause pain for her, I dont think anyone wins when the case goes on. I have faith, I can acheive the same result by appealing to her better side. Besides I not even sure what legal hassles are there trying thru court.

I reason with her through emails...then phone and may be in person...I think it will work. Just a matter of few weeks or max months. I think it is better option.

What intrigues me is the perception - seeing her happiness and child's as independent entities. I see them as one right now, their happiness are very much intertwined. I cannot expect to stress the mother yet hope to give a better life for the child. Perception sounds a bit like "war for peace".
 
Don't need to convince this board

help-me

This is starting to sound more and more that you want to convince this board that you are a good moral person. To be honest, this is a personal and private battle for you and there is no need to air and be judged for personal mistakes you have made or not made. I suspect that this board could care less about whether you are a moral person or not (but I can respect your need for reassurance).

As far as USCIS goes, my guess is that once you have convinced yourself that you have done everthing you can to remedy your situation, the USCIS officer will be convinced too (after all no one can/should gauge others harsher than we gauge ourselves - at least people that sleep well at night).

You don't need to convince us that you have gone through a revelation and making amends. If you do what you feel is right and are able to sleep well at night with your decisions, all else will fall in place.

Just my 2 cents. Good luck to you

-- Gaude
 
Help-me

Don’t intermingle two separate/different issues here. The issue of you having moral responsibilities/obligations towards your child is different than a legal issue of this matter on your pending Naturalization application.

What you will do from now on for your kid is not relevant here as far as the legality of the matter goes. So obviously, INS won’t be interested to know all of your planning and talking on this. Besides, anyone (including INS) in his right mind can understand why only now you are talking about all this planning for your kid. You may have your defense/justification on this, but its time is very questionable and obvious skeptical, especially when you have already shown/proved what you have done so far for your kid, which is-NADA, regardless of whatever circumstances you had. I have no desire anymore to talk about the morality of this issue.

As far as immigration issue goes in context to your pending N-400, then officer won’t be interested in knowing your future plans for your child as everyone would plan all this in order to get thru with a citizenship process, nor it proves that you have been taking care of your child from the beginning. Officer will most probably question your previous efforts for your kid by asking you about what you have done specifically so far for your child to prove that you have been taking care of your child.

It would be in your best interest not to say any more tales or irrelevant talking on this specific issue of what you have done so far for your kid. This is only way adjudication officer can determine whether or not you have been a good father to your kid as to determine your moral character in context to citizenship requirements.

Again, I must repeat that if officer were happened to be a rookie or easy-going person then s/he may not bother to the fact that you have not been involved in your child’s life, and officer may also ignore the fact that you have not paid any financial support to your kid so far especially when there is not a court order for you to pay the child support. But if I were you, I will definitely expect to be asked what I’ve done so far for my child to be in kid’s life (not in your ex’s life).

Convincing to anyone here about what you would do for your kid from now on won't do any good to you. Also, any other argument/discussion aside from above question is useless here when it comes to the legality of this issue in context to determining the character of you for naturalization purpose.

Good Luck.
 
Thanks JohnyCash.

Actually I hit a dead-end. My ex- will not provide a notarized statement that I offered financial support all this years.

So the end result is I have no proof other than my emails for the nine years. I also have my handful of my ex-'s emails not wanting finnancial support, claiming I have no connection the child to leave them alone. So in short, I have no-proof except the emails. Is it even worth printing email trails and take them with me to the interview with INS?

I want to talk to a immigration lawyer. If any of you know of a good immigration lawyer in the SFO aea, please recommend. I did speak to two of them in the last week but I was so disappointed that they do not even know some of the common immigration terminologies/process.
 
Thanks JohnyCash, Alex, Samata and Gaude for your kind words.

Plese do not mistake me if I disregard your opinions. I did respect your opinions very much.

I am trying my best for this process, it is almost coming to an end, since I waited for this for 9 years. But I will not be heart broken at all. I do try my best and accept however it turns out completely, I will take it as a God's will and a higher path is shown to me.

I will NOT bother you folks anymore with my petty q's and dramatic stories.
I will however post after my interview how it turn out to let you know.
I will check to see any good lawyer suggestion posted.

thanks again.
 
Help-me

I don't think that an attorney will be able to help you in this regard except telling you exactly the same things what I've told you earlier. But if you still wish to see an attorney then it is your choice.

If your ex-wife could have provided you a notarized affidavit about telling that you have been supporting your child during the whole time, then it could have definately helped you. But since you won't have this kind of affidavit from her then you should take all the emails that you exchanged with her about offering financial help to your child and about having joint custody of your child. This way you can prove that you did make efforts to be a part of your child's life. And this way you could also prove that your ex wife is the one who has stopped you to be a part of your child. Make no mistakes that offering ONLY financial help for your child doesn't prove that you wished to be a part of your child. Thus, there should be more involvement from you in your child life than just merely offers of providing financial support.

Just tell the truth on this. You would be alright, especially when there is no any Court order for you to pay child support. Anyway, you MUST need to take all the emails (or any other documentations) to show to the officer about your efforts of being in the life of your child, no matter what, regardless of whether your ex wife provides you a notarized affidavit or not. INS cannot take her words alone anyway, rather they need to see actual proofs of your efforts from your end than her telling to INS about it on your behalf.

I don't see a big problem so long you would have a logical reason to explain your position on this, particularly in the light of the fact that you have many exchanges of emails with your ex wife on this subject/issue.

Good Luck.
 
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