Headlines from year 2029

mummiezed

Registered Users (C)
source: yahoo message board ticker AAPL

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.


Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crop and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally--scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 100 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent .

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
 
And Lastly.. Akbari was awarded posthumous green card !

mummiezed said:
source: yahoo message board ticker AAPL

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.


Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crop and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally--scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 100 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent .

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
 
I can not resist to put this ...

Alhindi, catdog and likes..... already late to go back to India are complaining about retrogression of Immigration visa to INDIA !

Bharat Mata Ki Jay Ho !!!!!

O bhai log, kuch to laugh karo !!! :D :D :D
 
Editor's notes

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Upon learning the news, Indian engineers in Silicon Valley, Mexifornia, launch a heated debate on whether this new camera is fast enough to photograph aged Al Hindi, Sr. with his mouth shut.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Secretary of Homeland Security, CAT DOG, Jr., takes exception that this rule is inapplicable to imported pets other than pandas, unless those pets have Blue Cards, or are in the process of Adjustment of Status aka I-485A.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. On one sunny Wednesday, Mummy Yed, on behalf his father Mummy Zed, buried in a nailed coffin, received 45-month letter from Dallas DOL Backlog Expansion Center. Before his suicide, Mexicana, US Permanent Resident Mummy Zed refused to withdraw his decades old Labor Certification case.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Federal Judge Mad Dog Sr. argues, in a Capitol Hill press conference, that "Since the federal court announcement that every imported pet in I-485A stage has to renew its Meowing and Barking Authorization Document, known as MBAD, on a quarterly basis for a nominal fee of $1,899.95, registering every screwdriver and nail clipper, etc., will be the next big step toward securing our neighborhood."

<EOF>
 
You guys are SOOOOOOOO wrong.

Actual legislation was passed in Spanish. Here is the text.

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Ozono creado por los coches eléctricos ahora que matan a millones en el séptimo país más grande del mundo, Mexifornia conocido formalmente como California.

Minorías blancas todavía que intentan tener inglés reconocido como tercera lengua de Mexifornia.

La plaga manchada del buho amenaza la cosecha y el ganado del noroeste de Estados Unidos.

Bebé concebido naturalmente -- los científicos stumped.

El par solicita la corte para reinstalar la unión heterosexual.

El musulmán fundamentalista restante pasado muere en el territorio americano de el Oriente Medio (conocido antes como Irán, Afganistán, Siria y Líbano).

Iraq todavía cerrado apagado; los físicos lo estiman tomarán por lo menos 100 más años antes de que la radiactividad disminuya a los niveles seguros.

Francia aboga por para la ayuda global después de ser asumido el control por la Jamaica.

Castro finalmente muere en la edad 112; Los cigarros cubanos se pueden ahora importar legalmente, pero presidente Chelsea Clinton ha prohibido todo fumar.

George Z. Bush dice que él funcionará para el presidente en 2036.

85-year, estudio $75.8 mil millones: La dieta y el ejercicio es la llave para cargar pérdida.

El servicio postal sube precio de la primera estampilla de la clase a $17.89 y reduce reparto del correo a miércoles solamente.

El peso medio de americanos cae a 250 libras.

Los científicos japoneses ahora han creado una cámara fotográfica con una velocidad tan rápida del obturador, ellos fotografía de la lata que una mujer con su boca cerró.

Massachusetts ejecuta a conservador restante pasado.

El castigo de las reglas del Tribunal Supremo de criminales viola las sus derechas civiles.

Altura media de los jugadores de NBA ahora nueve pies, siete pulgadas.

La nueva ley federal requiere que todas las podadoras del clavo, destornilladores, swatters de la mosca y periódicos enrollados se deban colocar antes de enero de de 2036.

El congreso autoriza el depósito directo de contribuciones políticas antes ilegales para hacer campaña las cuentas.

El interno de la colina de capitol procesó para que el rechazo tenga sexo con el miembro del Congreso.

El IRS fija la imposición fiscal más baja en 75 por ciento.

Votantes de la Florida todavía que tienen apuro con las máquinas de votación.
 
Alhindi wants Indian Genes removed from his body!!!

bhai mummiezed ...you removed all the stress that this Alhindi, catdog inflicted.

Thank you soooooooooooooooo much.

Hope to have some more funny addition to this ...
 
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