Happy July 4th Weekend
- Thread starter gcgcgcgc
- Start date
1amShantanuB
Banned
NOT is missing inth esentence.
it should be one of the 2:
..will NOT drive safe if they think
.. will drive safe if they do NOT think
abhi_01201
Registered Users (C)
Wish everyone a happy 4th and early approvals.
By the way - as tomorrow is a holiday - how about some early TGIF?
By the way - as tomorrow is a holiday - how about some early TGIF?
patienceGC
Registered Users (C)
Here is how Santa Singh prints documents :
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can't afford to get pregnant..
I've got to get to the doctor and renew my prescription of birth control pills. I can't afford to get pregnant!" said Melanie to Colleen.
"But I thought you said your husband had a vasectomy," Colleen responded.
"He did." Melanie replied "That's why I can't afford to get pregnant."
I've got to get to the doctor and renew my prescription of birth control pills. I can't afford to get pregnant!" said Melanie to Colleen.
"But I thought you said your husband had a vasectomy," Colleen responded.
"He did." Melanie replied "That's why I can't afford to get pregnant."
Physical Chemistry MidTerm
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
Need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true. Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given for the question.
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
Need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true. Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given for the question.
Double Negative
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
"In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.
However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah. Right."
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
"In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.
However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah. Right."
Stay out of the Dorms
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:
"How much for a season pass?"
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:
"How much for a season pass?"