Hi...I don't know where to turn for help with this. I am a US Citizen; I was living in Arizona when this took place. I met a woman from China in 1995-1996 and we corresponded for a year before I went over to meet her. She wanted in the worst way to come to America and I thought she was nice. We seemed to get along okay, I asked her to marry me, and I returned to the U.S. I went back to China in May, 1997, to accompany her back to the US. She came on a fiance visa. I believe I filed an I-485. We were married in a private ceremony in August, 1997. I need to say that my family was totally against the marriage. Apparently she was also. She refused any sexual relations...before and after the marriage. I lived like that for 4 years--she had a separate bedroom and everything. Still, I didn't cheat on her. I did a lot of traveling and was gone a lot, but she was such a terror that it was nice to be away from home all the time. Needless to say, no kids came from this marriage.
In October, 1999, she started a new job with an insurance company. She immediately began doing odd things, like hysterical laughing to herself, talking to herself, just generally doing really weird things. Then in 2000, she accused her manager of making sexual advances towards her. She notified the entire HR and company about this. That's not the bad thing: She said that the sexual advances were made to her IN HER MIND, that he was communicating with her without talking to her. The company did the right thing and tried to get her medical help. I went with her. She was diagnosed as schizophrenic but the psychologist doing the evaluation said she had to go see a psychiatrist for treatment because she needed medicine. My wife refused to see a "mental doctor" and went on to say that the manager needed the medical treatment since he was the one talking to her in her head. I couldn't do anything to force her to go to the psychiatrist. The manager filed a restraining order against her because she harassed and threatened him. She was fired.
In 2000 and 2001, she attacked me during her hysterical laughing/crying sessions; she wanted to go confront this former manager and she wanted me to go along with her--I flat-out refused. She bit, clawed and spit at me. I called 9-1-1 the second time and she was arrested for domestic violence and criminal damage to property (she destroyed a lot of stuff in our apartment). The police took photos of my injuries; I didn't hurt her except to restrain her from throwing any more glassware, plants and electronic equipment. She spent 24 hours in jail (no way I was bailing her out) calling from the jail phone every 10-15 minutes; I eventually left the phone off the hook just to get some peace. I began moving stuff out of the apartment in preparation for divorce. I wasn't going to live like that anymore. When she returned, she didn't talk to me and I didn't talk to her. She missed her court hearing the following month so a warrant was issued for her arrest. I actually called one time to tell the police where she was and they came and picked her up. Anyway, I went on to file for divorce. She was served papers and I know she had them because when I came home from a business trip, she threw them in my face and said, "You want divorce, you take care of it!" So I did. I filed a restraining order against her and she was served with that as well. She was ordered to stay away from me and the apartment we had shared because of her violent behavior, though she continued to return while I was out of town (she would be gone when I returned). She never did respond to the no-fault divorce summons so the marriage ended with a decree of dissolution by default. I did everything legally within my means to end the situation. She was arrested twice more on violation of the restraining order. The police who picked her up said they were quite familiar with my ex-wife.
I notified INS that I was divorced from her and wished to withdraw my Affidavit of Support. I never heard from them, so I don't know if that is protocol or not. I assumed she left the USA because I didn't hear from her for about 4 years. Various friends and others would say she had tried to call them but they never answered their phones when she called. I changed jobs, moved from the state, married my current U.S.-born wife and proceeded to have 2 kids with her. She has 2 from a previous marriage. I am so glad to be rid of the Chinese woman, you have no idea. I don't want to have anything more to do with her, nor do I want my family exposed to her anymore. BUT SHE ISN'T LEAVING THE U.S.!
Her work-order expired in 2002. I don't know how she's living here, how she's paying her way, etc. I don't even know how she's driving without the work permit. She never had a Green Card...she never pursued it and I wasn't going to force her to do it, based on our circumstances.
Last year, my mother received a HUGE packet of papers from this former wife of mine. Over the course of the past year, she continued sending these packets of so-called legal papers, which pretty much detail all the "concealable abuse" her former manager heaps upon her via some sort of spy satellite. It's incredible--she accuses the US Government, China, the manager, Chinese actresses, the Chinese Church in Phoenix, anybody who goes against her of conspiracy (they make her itch and hurt; he breathes on her when she's sleeping, talks to her constantly, etc.). 20 or more pages every time. She's obviously very ill. I don't know if the government is taking her seriously or not. She just rambles on and on about crazy stuff. She insists that she didn't sign any divorce agreement and so therefore she is not divorced from me. She is writing various branches of the government that I am a bigamist, a liar, criminal, etc. She wrote a letter for me to sign (yeah, right) addressed to the US President that I wanted him to stop this former manager's concealable abuses. She writes that she wants to kill this former manager and sometimes me. She was calling my mom and hanging up on her; I finally was at my wit's end with my mom calling, upset, that this person was calling/writing to her, so I wrote my ex-wife an email telling her we were divorced and to knock it off. I should have left it alone but she was harassing my mom. Now she is writing me these long emails, diatribes, conspiracy theories, threats, etc. to me. She says she's lost several jobs due to "odd" behavior, talking to herself, being a "felon" (don't know what that's about, unless it has something to do with the restraining order or a hit and run property-damage accident she caused 1 1/2 years ago in a parking lot after she was fired from a job). This is definitely NOT somebody we want in this country. I feel like I can't drop the email because it's an outlet for her and since I gave an email address to her (specifically meant for her and nobody else) she hasn't bugged my mom, which was my original intention.
I married her in good faith. I thought that she was the woman for me and I acted upon it. Obviously she had different intentions by not wanting to BE a real wife. I just don't know how to proceed from here. Did I do something wrong by divorcing her and writing INS about it? Am I illegal about anything I did? I spoke with a couple different agents, one at Homeland Security and one at USCIS about this--both of them told me that I wasn't responsible for her any longer. But I don't have anything in writing saying this. I was told to go to law enforcement and file another restraining order if the problems and harassment continued, but I am not in the Phoenix area any longer and it would be financially- and time-constraint-difficult to get down there at this time. I did send information about her alleged illegal status to the sheriff of Maricopa County but I haven't heard anything yet. I'm embarrassed to go to our local law enforcement because it's not happening here; we're in a smaller town and well, it's embarrassing.
All I can say is that I feel so stupid and foolish for having gotton myself into this mess. I'm really distressed about it, and my current wife is also. I am embarrassed that my family has to go through this, that my current wife is witnessing all this, that I have this noose around my neck from years ago that just isn't going away. I should never have married her...I know this now, but hindsight is perfect. I can't imagine anyone has had anything quite like this happen, and if they have, I can't find it on the site. What do I do now? Any help would be appreciated.
Dave
(PS Sorry for the long post--it's a long story)
In October, 1999, she started a new job with an insurance company. She immediately began doing odd things, like hysterical laughing to herself, talking to herself, just generally doing really weird things. Then in 2000, she accused her manager of making sexual advances towards her. She notified the entire HR and company about this. That's not the bad thing: She said that the sexual advances were made to her IN HER MIND, that he was communicating with her without talking to her. The company did the right thing and tried to get her medical help. I went with her. She was diagnosed as schizophrenic but the psychologist doing the evaluation said she had to go see a psychiatrist for treatment because she needed medicine. My wife refused to see a "mental doctor" and went on to say that the manager needed the medical treatment since he was the one talking to her in her head. I couldn't do anything to force her to go to the psychiatrist. The manager filed a restraining order against her because she harassed and threatened him. She was fired.
In 2000 and 2001, she attacked me during her hysterical laughing/crying sessions; she wanted to go confront this former manager and she wanted me to go along with her--I flat-out refused. She bit, clawed and spit at me. I called 9-1-1 the second time and she was arrested for domestic violence and criminal damage to property (she destroyed a lot of stuff in our apartment). The police took photos of my injuries; I didn't hurt her except to restrain her from throwing any more glassware, plants and electronic equipment. She spent 24 hours in jail (no way I was bailing her out) calling from the jail phone every 10-15 minutes; I eventually left the phone off the hook just to get some peace. I began moving stuff out of the apartment in preparation for divorce. I wasn't going to live like that anymore. When she returned, she didn't talk to me and I didn't talk to her. She missed her court hearing the following month so a warrant was issued for her arrest. I actually called one time to tell the police where she was and they came and picked her up. Anyway, I went on to file for divorce. She was served papers and I know she had them because when I came home from a business trip, she threw them in my face and said, "You want divorce, you take care of it!" So I did. I filed a restraining order against her and she was served with that as well. She was ordered to stay away from me and the apartment we had shared because of her violent behavior, though she continued to return while I was out of town (she would be gone when I returned). She never did respond to the no-fault divorce summons so the marriage ended with a decree of dissolution by default. I did everything legally within my means to end the situation. She was arrested twice more on violation of the restraining order. The police who picked her up said they were quite familiar with my ex-wife.
I notified INS that I was divorced from her and wished to withdraw my Affidavit of Support. I never heard from them, so I don't know if that is protocol or not. I assumed she left the USA because I didn't hear from her for about 4 years. Various friends and others would say she had tried to call them but they never answered their phones when she called. I changed jobs, moved from the state, married my current U.S.-born wife and proceeded to have 2 kids with her. She has 2 from a previous marriage. I am so glad to be rid of the Chinese woman, you have no idea. I don't want to have anything more to do with her, nor do I want my family exposed to her anymore. BUT SHE ISN'T LEAVING THE U.S.!
Her work-order expired in 2002. I don't know how she's living here, how she's paying her way, etc. I don't even know how she's driving without the work permit. She never had a Green Card...she never pursued it and I wasn't going to force her to do it, based on our circumstances.
Last year, my mother received a HUGE packet of papers from this former wife of mine. Over the course of the past year, she continued sending these packets of so-called legal papers, which pretty much detail all the "concealable abuse" her former manager heaps upon her via some sort of spy satellite. It's incredible--she accuses the US Government, China, the manager, Chinese actresses, the Chinese Church in Phoenix, anybody who goes against her of conspiracy (they make her itch and hurt; he breathes on her when she's sleeping, talks to her constantly, etc.). 20 or more pages every time. She's obviously very ill. I don't know if the government is taking her seriously or not. She just rambles on and on about crazy stuff. She insists that she didn't sign any divorce agreement and so therefore she is not divorced from me. She is writing various branches of the government that I am a bigamist, a liar, criminal, etc. She wrote a letter for me to sign (yeah, right) addressed to the US President that I wanted him to stop this former manager's concealable abuses. She writes that she wants to kill this former manager and sometimes me. She was calling my mom and hanging up on her; I finally was at my wit's end with my mom calling, upset, that this person was calling/writing to her, so I wrote my ex-wife an email telling her we were divorced and to knock it off. I should have left it alone but she was harassing my mom. Now she is writing me these long emails, diatribes, conspiracy theories, threats, etc. to me. She says she's lost several jobs due to "odd" behavior, talking to herself, being a "felon" (don't know what that's about, unless it has something to do with the restraining order or a hit and run property-damage accident she caused 1 1/2 years ago in a parking lot after she was fired from a job). This is definitely NOT somebody we want in this country. I feel like I can't drop the email because it's an outlet for her and since I gave an email address to her (specifically meant for her and nobody else) she hasn't bugged my mom, which was my original intention.
I married her in good faith. I thought that she was the woman for me and I acted upon it. Obviously she had different intentions by not wanting to BE a real wife. I just don't know how to proceed from here. Did I do something wrong by divorcing her and writing INS about it? Am I illegal about anything I did? I spoke with a couple different agents, one at Homeland Security and one at USCIS about this--both of them told me that I wasn't responsible for her any longer. But I don't have anything in writing saying this. I was told to go to law enforcement and file another restraining order if the problems and harassment continued, but I am not in the Phoenix area any longer and it would be financially- and time-constraint-difficult to get down there at this time. I did send information about her alleged illegal status to the sheriff of Maricopa County but I haven't heard anything yet. I'm embarrassed to go to our local law enforcement because it's not happening here; we're in a smaller town and well, it's embarrassing.
All I can say is that I feel so stupid and foolish for having gotton myself into this mess. I'm really distressed about it, and my current wife is also. I am embarrassed that my family has to go through this, that my current wife is witnessing all this, that I have this noose around my neck from years ago that just isn't going away. I should never have married her...I know this now, but hindsight is perfect. I can't imagine anyone has had anything quite like this happen, and if they have, I can't find it on the site. What do I do now? Any help would be appreciated.
Dave
(PS Sorry for the long post--it's a long story)
I'm no longer writing her but it's still upsetting.