Argument with wife and Affect on Green Card.

G

GcardHelp

Registered Users (C)
I have got my 485 approval and am going for stamping next week. I had a major argument with my wife this weekend and we were on the verge of divorce. Yesterday, my wife decided to leave me and go to her friend's place. I had some immigration related documents at work (like passport etc) and she went to the local police station complaining about that. She told the cops a false story that I threatened her and other stuff. She gave them my work number and I got a call from the Officer.

I immediately clarified to the officer and also told him that my wife is welcome to have those documents anytime. I had just taken them to make some copies. He told me if I could drop them off in local police station. I said YES I could. So in 15 minutes I went to the police station and dropped them to my wife.

Then there were some more docs needed by my wife so I requested the officer to come to our apartment and then I will give those docs to her in his presence. The officer was just wanting to make sure that the document's were handed over to my wife. I told the officer about the things my wife does. She takes advantage of being a woman and always threatens to call cops on me if we have any sort of argument which does not go her way. I have been facing this harassment for 3 yrs. I told him that I felt more comfortable with him being there so there is proof. I did not get arrested or recieve any warning at all.

He said that all remaing property split can be discussed in court with our respective attorneys. Then I left back to work after shaking the officer's hand. My wife also went to her friend's home.

Now we have patched up and she is back. Could this affect my background history in any way. Is this considered any type of criminal offense. My wife says that she did not file any sort of written complaint at all. She said everything discussed with the officer was just verbal and she just wanted her documents back. She had told the police that we had a fight and she is leaving. The officer asked her if there was any physical/verbal assault and she said NO there was not. (Although I am not sure if i can totally believe her on this )

I have a trip coming up to India and want to be sure that they will not deport me. I am really worried. Is there a way to verify that my record is clean even though I never got arrested at all.

Gurus: Please help me on this.

Thanks in advance !!
 
Don't worry, nothing happend for you.

If they arrest you and you are committed then problem comes. It is the life man, some one has to adjust with others temper.

So keep cool and enjoy life and trip.

Go cool with your wife for stampping and enjoy the rest of life without fight.

BaSh
 
I think you won't get into any problems as per your msg there was no complaint filed as such. Also domestic
dispute is not new for USA COPS if they start filing complaints over such fights the mainframe will crash
But my sincere advice to you is do not fight with your spouse. If she is fighting with you means there is some
misunderstanding/wrong with your behavior. No one can just fight without any reason. So sit down and discuss
quietly with your wife and leave life in peace. Also it is wonderful fall time go to vacation for couple of days (before
your big trip to India) and keep her and your mood in wonderful spirit

Good luck
 
unitednations said:
How many different threads are you going to post this in?

Are you trying to get advice or playing games to see how many people are going to reply to your posting?
Click to expand...

I had posted on all 4 forums yesterday but it seems like it did not get saved on 2 of them. The reason is that some people go directly to the forum belonging to their center.

Why would I try to play games. I just need opinions from people who are helpful. Isnt that the purpose of having a discussion forum. :confused:
 
1fineday said:
I think you won't get into any problems as per your msg there was no complaint filed as such. Also domestic
dispute is not new for USA COPS if they start filing complaints over such fights the mainframe will crash
But my sincere advice to you is do not fight with your spouse. If she is fighting with you means there is some
misunderstanding/wrong with your behavior. No one can just fight without any reason. So sit down and discuss
quietly with your wife and leave life in peace. Also it is wonderful fall time go to vacation for couple of days (before
your big trip to India) and keep her and your mood in wonderful spirit

Good luck
Click to expand...

Thanks !! I am thinking of going for a short trip to Canada next weekend with her after stamping and hopefully nothing will happen when I re enter. Then we can go to India later this year with peace of mind.
 
Hi GcardHelp Congratulation for your approval

Do not worry, nothing will happen to you. Indians are always non violent
immigrant in USA, American people like us always. We never preach or practice violence in our history. See my case, I called police to arrest me after I slightly pushed my wife while we had argument in my home. Police came and arrested me, took my fingerprint and released me immediately. Next day judge let me free without any conviction or charges. When INS took my fingerprint, there was a hit according FBI record. My case was transferred for interview because of fingerprint result from TSC to Dallas. In life small things happen never take it seriously.

Please feel free to contact me any time.
 
GCardHelp -- "Domestic Standby" is harmless

You are safe. Don't worry. The legal term for the police action in your case is "Domestic Standby." This is purely a non-cognizable civil dispute. This is not criminal and you are not part of the Criminal Justice System.
 
Hi GcardHelp, three cheers for Poongunranar

Poongunranar is great member of our immigrant community,
his contribution to this forum is great. I always appreciate
his advice although he is not an immigration attorney but he
has vast knowledge.
 
srbose said:
Poongunranar is great member of our immigrant community,
his contribution to this forum is great. I always appreciate
his advice although he is not an immigration attorney but he
has vast knowledge.
Click to expand...

Agree, he is not am immi attorney, but he did stay at holiday inn..... :)

Ashgur
ND May16 2003
Approved Sept 29, 2004
 
Thanks srbose & Ashgur AND Warning to GCardHelp

Good news always brings the best humor in persons :) Ashgur's posting proves that -- Dude he got approved yesterday!!! Congratulations!!!

Thanks, srbose, for your kind comments. I am humbled. I just don't want people to lose a sense of satisfaction with unfound fears.

That much said, I want GCardHelp to make sure that a permanent reconciliation is possible. If 911 calls are made by either one of the spouses just to score point or as a weapon of blackmail (for argument sake I am not talking about genuine cases here), it is nothing short of "mental abuse" which constitutes domestic violence as well. One good thing about USA, is that they apply the statutes for offenders without any gender bias as well. I personally know of cases where wives were arrested for slapping their husbands!! Why I am reiterating this is because, once you get GC, that is not the end of it. If a vengeful wife or a husband for that matter, can make things horribly devastating for the other partner with trumped-up charges of domestic violence, the IIRIRA of 1996 has overwhelming powers to retroactively revoke GC on Criminal Cases pertaining to a LPR. One doesn't need to undergo this turmoil. From what GCardHelp has written, I am very skeptical, even though if the entire episode was done in a fit of rage, I can understand. Even then, at the end of the day, I ask myself, "calling a cop may be done in a fit of rage, but then, to be very cognizant and picky enough to demand documents etc., should that not have been well-planned, carefully cogitated and premeditated?" Of course a man owes his wife her legal documents. But, should an arbiter in the form of the police come to fetch the documents from the man whom you were sharing your bed, roof, and bread? That is ridiculous. As much as I see legal points, I am not oblivious to the cultural context in all this nonsense. All that I wish to advise this friend is to be prudent and watchful. Fear breeds all irrationality. Try to win over your wife and see what is causing her to take extreme action. If you cannot control your rage or vice-versa, or if one of you has lost the confidence and trust in the other, try seeking professional help. If everything fails, part in peace. Let divorce be a step taken in extremis, when all things have failed.

An argument alone cannot and must not lead to a divorce. And now I give you the right to hate me for what I have said. Calmly, I hope and trust your good self to accept the reasoning behind it.

My two cents.
 
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poongunranar,
You have a vast knowledge about the immigration issues and as well as the relationships. Your input is always valuable. Thanks for being there for everyone.
 
naveenmgm

Thanks, Friend.

I am only commenting about an abuse that is willfully being ignored by the members of intelligentsia as it is always politically incorrect to raise it. Now, the problem in discussing these issues is that you can be immediately accused of being a male chauvinist (if you bring out the issues faced by many males in houses where females want to control) or as a ruthless female activist (if you are trying to genuinely argue for the abuses faced by many females at the hands of males). As a result, what is happening is that, a man-wife relationship that should be based on love, trust, and bonhomie is turned into a battle-ground where each of them view the other person with hate, distrust, and contumacy.

Now, I personally know of cases, where guys are effectively silenced by their harridan wives who threaten right from 911 calls to self-perpetrated injuries to land the guys in jails! Now, who will come to the rescue of such guys? Now, why are such cases merely being treated as a statistic? If genuinely abused women should get legal remedies so freely, why should innocent men be faced with constant mental abuse and torture? (Again, please do not take my arguments as being in favor of one class/sex, because it is not. My logic is simple: an innocent should be treated as such. Innocent. Period. Question of sexes doesn't arise here. What I argue for foisted threats against males is equally applicable to females as well. I love human-beings -- not by first looking what sex they are of!)

I, due to my religious and cultural belief, cannot support divorce as a solution. However, after extensive research and statistics, I have only come to realize that, if at all there is a chronic problem in a relationship, where the culprit is about taking control of each other, nothing would solve the problem other than walking away with a divorce. At least the modesty of each other person will not be outraged. Here, a person with any brush with Criminal Justice System will understand how many pillows he or she would have drenched with his or her tears with a constant Damocle's Sword of removal hanging over them. Activist organizations are no good -- they are there for their vulgar publicity blitzkrieg. It is actually they, who inject the venomous poison of pitching husband versus wife and vice-versa. So, as an individual, you and I can help couples undergoing such trauma -- the worst violence in one's own home.

Anyway, coming back to the topic of divorce....Other than, control, if the culprit is say, "husband is a drunkard," "wife is an oniomaniac," "hubby is a workaholic," "wife is not beautiful as my secretary," kind of issues can be worked through. Even a respected member of this forum lovingly took care of his wife, who was always used to kleptomania that she committed an act of shoplifting for which she was arrested and arraigned. However, if the issue is about control, it will be better for either of the spouses to impress upon the other to not to try controlling the other spouse and when all fails, it is only better to part.

That way, it will be all over with a civil action -- between husband and wife -- instead of a criminal action suit, where it will be between a spouse and the State.

No wonder then, Leo Tolstoy starts the wonderful classic Anna Karenina with these wonderful words: "All happy families are alike; Each unhappy family is unique in its own way."
 
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>>I have been facing this harassment for 3 yrs.
>>(Although I am not sure if i can totally believe her on this )

I think your trouble is not over yet. You can't live with someone that you can't trust.
... and the patch-up might just be to get stamped.... and I sincerely hope to be wrong.

Good Luck in your life.
 
Hi Dear Poongunranar and all great members

On October 4 I visited Dallas district office through InfoPass. First time in INS office, I showed the letter of I-131 denial letter, Dallas office has written I was out of status as per my passport stamp without checking my subsequent I-94 issued by INS, I showed all INS i-94 document notarized. I was never out of status in USA and never went out of USA since last entry in 09/1999 on H1B. The immigration officer arguing with me continuously I am out of status without looking my I-94 papers. She told me I am out of status for 2 days, I showed the INS denial letter where it is written I am out status for more than 180 days. Truth always prevail, it was proved by her supervisor I was never out of status. Immediately Dallas office issued me I-131 as I have written proof INS did the mistake without looking into my all I-94 issued so far. For issuing I-131 Dallas INS asking fees. I showed the receipt of I-131 original. The staff asked me my I-485 receipt notice when our argument was going on regarding my out of status. I gave them the original I-485 receipt. I was completely upset when Dallas office is trying to prove, I am out of status. I forgot to ask my original I-485 receipt notice and original I-485 receipt notice after Dallas office issued my I-131.My I-485 is pending, when I came back home I found my I-485 is missing.Now I do not know how to obtain my original I-485 receipt and transfer notice from Dallas office. I have the photocopy but it is not notarized. Kindly reply at your own convenience what to do next.
 
srbose

Even a photo-copy of your I-485 Receipt notice would do.

FYI, I never received my transfer notice of my I-485 from TSC to ADO. And trust me, I haven't had any necessity to carry that paper anywhere.

If you don't have a photo-copy of your I-485 receipt notice, try finding out who may have it. FYI, I have copies of my receipt notices with my HR person and with my attorney. You may probably be able to get it from there.
 
Dear my friend Poongunranar

I really appreciate your feed back. I do not know how I did not ask my paper from Immigration officer herself immigrant in Dallas INS. I was feeling she wants to prove me wrong, so I was trying my best to convince her I was never out of status. I was feeling very tensed as Immigration officer was trying her best to prove I was out of status in USA. Due to tension I completely forgot to ask my I-485 original notice. At last when INS realized their mistake as I am never out of status in USA, I asked the Immigration officer kindly let me know what is going on with I-485 which is transferred on December 18,2003 to Dallas INS as Dallas District office now processing I-485 from receipt date March 15,2004. The Immigration officer said my I-485 is pending for security reason. I told the Immigration officer my FP is done on 11/21/2003 and Dallas INS has FP report and on march 11,2004 name check is done. In name check INS found no records. FP report says simple domestic violence as I obtained the copy of FBI report from Freedom of Information Act(FOIA) which is sent to me Dallas INS. I explained the Immigration officer politely. The Immigration officer said your I-485 is not denied but pending for security reason. The Immigration officer said she does not know how long it will be pending. I kept quite and collected my I-131 since I paid the fees earlier. I do not have any plan to visit India with I-131. I noticed all the Immigration officers are immigrant themselves not a single American.
 
srbose

srbose said:
The Immigration officer said my I-485 is pending for security reason.
I told the Immigration officer my FP is done on 11/21/2003 and Dallas INS has FP report and on march 11,2004 name check is done.
In name check INS found no records. FP report says simple domestic violence.
The Immigration officer said your I-485 is not denied but pending for security reason.
Click to expand...

So, you mean to say that your FP has tagged you as DV perpetrator whereas the name check came without any issues?

Now, did you ask the officer what she means by "security reason?"

Do you think Dallas will ask you to appear for FP before calling for interview?

Don't worry about your original I-485 notice. At least stay on top of your stuff, without giving in to any level of stress or panic. I would support your decision of not traveling with AP to your home country, especially when you have had some bad experiences in the adjudication of I-131, and more so when your I-485 is kept in abeyance.

I am also fraught with a similar fate w.r.t my I-485 at Atlanta. The major differences though are that there aren't any arrest records in my case as well as that I was called for FP by the local-office, whereas you aren't invited for that as well. However, they would not call me for interview and hold mine in abeyance, even though they have crossed my RD and invited others in line for interview.
 
Dear my friend Poongunranar

Thank you so much for your kind reply, I sent email to my attorney for a copy of I-485 receipt and transfer notice, he is not replying back or taking my phone call.

The Immigration officer does not know what is security reason all she is saying may be next FP when due i.e. March,04. Yes FP has tagged me as DV perpetrator whereas the name check came without any issues.

Yes I anticipate Dallas will ask me to appear for FP before calling for interview.
The Immigration officer is saying domestic violence is crime, I immediately said to immigration officer FBI has written it is "SIMPLE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE". The Immigration officer said where it is said it is "SIMPLE". I said in my FBI report obtained through FOIA which I am carrying now. The Immigration officer did not see the report. I said it was quarrel, the lady Immigration officer even quarrel is crime. But The Immigration officer assured my I-485 is not denied it is just pending, so I have to wait un endingly.
 
srbose

srbose said:
But The Immigration officer assured my I-485 is not denied it is just pending, so I have to wait un endingly.
Click to expand...

Dear Friend, at times, the very fact you know better than somebody will precisely lead to rancor, spite, venom and angst. This Officer whom you spoke with may have thought, "how come this guy knows all these things," and wanted to tease your wits a little bit.

That much said, I have even posted material in this very forum for worser cases of DV, including convictions. Those guys have had their GCs and so don't worry. The point is that, for every denial citing criminal ground, INS has to belabor a lot in front of the Immigration Judge (IJ), Board of Immigration Appeals (BIA), and God forbid, before the US Judge of Circuit Court of Appeals, should the petitioner go on appeal all through the chain. This is a colossal loss of finances and resources to the Service. Therefore, it reserves such treatment for offenders with serious offenses. One-time offenders, especially, who haven't committed offenses that would classify as AF for Immigration purposes are verbally warned during the interviews and left at that. I personally know of a case dealt by Dallas and how aggressively they cornered the guy, that made his entire ordeal unbearable that he found a good job in India and left on his own. The very fact that none of these things happened to you should clearly suggest to you that you are very safe with your one-time offense.

Your DV offense is your small-finger. Since you are cognizant of it, you view it very close to your field of vision. That hides everything that lies before you, thereby painting a dark and gloomy picture. Reality is otherwise. You didn't commit multiple offenses; you were let go by the Judge; the offense doesn't constitute 'AF for Immigration Purposes'; neither is DV classified as CIMT as far as I know.

Just stay relaxed and focused. Please be assured of my prayers.
 
Thank you very much Mr. My dear friend Poongunranar

May God bless you in your all Endeavour.

My reaction to INS, Its mean I can not quarrel with my wife, I have to give pleasant smile :) :) :p :p :D :D to my wife always even I am angry inside. There is not a single house in this world where there is no quarrel between husband and wife.

Whatever will happen to my GC I will keep quite. In life I can get many GC from different country but once divorce take place in life, life journey become unbearable in our Indian culture.
 
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