the_matrix
Registered Users (C)
Humor keeps life "alive." The following is based on my first-hand experience I had two years ago. I looked at it different way and tried to add a dash of humor to it.
(I found this while cleaning up my old workstation and thought of sharing with the I-485 community, hope you get some laugh out of it)
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This whole internet meeting thing is unbelievable. In the past it wasn't so easy even just to think of a guy from the east meeting a girl from the west. Now there is no barrier. This internet has brought us together, we are all "one", united. Are you ready for this change?
On one of those internet meeting websites (they have used all the words that relate to dating and marriages), you see a profile WITH a photo. You find it attractive and decide to contact the person. The profile has lot more "other" information and you think you have a few extra minutes to read that "other information." ......Now is that information really important?
East West Mix: Do these people think that human beings are made of some mixture of substances ? ..east west mix ! ...a new balance mix !
Weight: ...Now if a person weighs little over 200 lbs, and posts a picture where you can barely identify his/her face, is going to write his/her real weight? ..Yeah, I weigh 250 lbs and I am really healthy and attractive. Please contact me.
Hobby: ..some people write their hobby as "reading." ...Yes I read lot of things. E-mails, junk mails, jokes, news, so I do think my hobby is "reading." Just read whatever comes my way (mostly in your "inbox.")
Diet: This is very important item. It's more than a religion difference. Pure vegetarian people (not vegan really) hate non-vegetarian people. "How can you eat animals? Have some mercy for them ...they have a life." But why these people forget that once upon a time, their ancestors lived on hunting animals.
But it's all about "contacts" and "profile hit count." You popularity is directly proportional to the number of contacts you receive. Those contact e-mails are enough to put a great smile on his/her face.
"I saw your profile and I think we have lot of things common. Coincidently my hobbies are similar to yours. Please take a look at my profile and contact me at Iamyours@love.com."
Were you able to express yourself in just a few sentences like these in the past? ....This is a new way of expressing and plus you have a choice of number of "emoticons" to express your emotions.
And then fun begins. Those long e-mails (full of "emoticons"), phone calls lasting for hours (thanks to the competition among the number of cell phone companies), those "miss you" cards, if you don't hear from the person for more than a day. You do this for a few weeks and realize that "I met someone."
Then comes "meeting", which some people refuse to call a date. And as planned long before, in a nice, quiet, "cool" restaurant, with a jazz music in the background, candles on your tables. ARAP, as romantic as possible. Then exchange of those words (that you are holding on for all these days).
"I can't believe we met on the internet."
"You know what they say: marriages are made in heaven."
(couple is now holding their hands together)
"I love you."
"Me too."
Then comes "meet the parents." These are the most stressful moments in a life of an adult male species that exist on this planet. You know everything about them and so do the parents. But they still ask you those critical questions, probably to verify the truth. But can you handle the truth??
Parent: "I thought you said you are vegetarian?"
Victim: "Well, I am, it just that if there is no vegetarian food available and I am really hungry, then I consume the non-vegetarian food. But I still consider myself vegetarian."
You survive those moments and fly back home. Sometimes from SF to NY, and you have a new message on your answering machine. "Honey, I don't think we have anything in common and my parents think the same, So good luck in your life."
Same night you log on to those websites and search by the criterion "newest profiles."
Once again ready !!!!! ....Are you ???
(I found this while cleaning up my old workstation and thought of sharing with the I-485 community, hope you get some laugh out of it)
*****************
This whole internet meeting thing is unbelievable. In the past it wasn't so easy even just to think of a guy from the east meeting a girl from the west. Now there is no barrier. This internet has brought us together, we are all "one", united. Are you ready for this change?
On one of those internet meeting websites (they have used all the words that relate to dating and marriages), you see a profile WITH a photo. You find it attractive and decide to contact the person. The profile has lot more "other" information and you think you have a few extra minutes to read that "other information." ......Now is that information really important?
East West Mix: Do these people think that human beings are made of some mixture of substances ? ..east west mix ! ...a new balance mix !
Weight: ...Now if a person weighs little over 200 lbs, and posts a picture where you can barely identify his/her face, is going to write his/her real weight? ..Yeah, I weigh 250 lbs and I am really healthy and attractive. Please contact me.
Hobby: ..some people write their hobby as "reading." ...Yes I read lot of things. E-mails, junk mails, jokes, news, so I do think my hobby is "reading." Just read whatever comes my way (mostly in your "inbox.")
Diet: This is very important item. It's more than a religion difference. Pure vegetarian people (not vegan really) hate non-vegetarian people. "How can you eat animals? Have some mercy for them ...they have a life." But why these people forget that once upon a time, their ancestors lived on hunting animals.
But it's all about "contacts" and "profile hit count." You popularity is directly proportional to the number of contacts you receive. Those contact e-mails are enough to put a great smile on his/her face.
"I saw your profile and I think we have lot of things common. Coincidently my hobbies are similar to yours. Please take a look at my profile and contact me at Iamyours@love.com."
Were you able to express yourself in just a few sentences like these in the past? ....This is a new way of expressing and plus you have a choice of number of "emoticons" to express your emotions.
And then fun begins. Those long e-mails (full of "emoticons"), phone calls lasting for hours (thanks to the competition among the number of cell phone companies), those "miss you" cards, if you don't hear from the person for more than a day. You do this for a few weeks and realize that "I met someone."
Then comes "meeting", which some people refuse to call a date. And as planned long before, in a nice, quiet, "cool" restaurant, with a jazz music in the background, candles on your tables. ARAP, as romantic as possible. Then exchange of those words (that you are holding on for all these days).
"I can't believe we met on the internet."
"You know what they say: marriages are made in heaven."
(couple is now holding their hands together)
"I love you."
"Me too."
Then comes "meet the parents." These are the most stressful moments in a life of an adult male species that exist on this planet. You know everything about them and so do the parents. But they still ask you those critical questions, probably to verify the truth. But can you handle the truth??
Parent: "I thought you said you are vegetarian?"
Victim: "Well, I am, it just that if there is no vegetarian food available and I am really hungry, then I consume the non-vegetarian food. But I still consider myself vegetarian."
You survive those moments and fly back home. Sometimes from SF to NY, and you have a new message on your answering machine. "Honey, I don't think we have anything in common and my parents think the same, So good luck in your life."
Same night you log on to those websites and search by the criterion "newest profiles."
Once again ready !!!!! ....Are you ???
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