A battered spouse need advice!

A

angie05

Registered Users (C)
I am grateful to see this website when browsing the internet for information!

I was almost going to withdraw the pending I-130 and 480, because I just threw my husband, who sponsored my green card application, out of my house and plan a divorce. For this situation, I discussed with three lawyers over the phone briefly and they gave me different answers.

I am a Chinese woman with H1B visa. My employer applied Labor certificate for me last year. Early this year, I married my boyfriend, a US citizen, after dating for almost three years. Almost six month later, my company's lawyer again submitted the Immediate Relative Petition for me.

The problem is that my husband has severe mood disorder and addiction problem for a long time. Since I met him I have been trying to convince him to get help and taking him to different treatment programs and hospitals. I committed myself to this marriage, hoping he can achieve long-term sobriety and we can start a normal family life (to this day I hate myself for getting into this marriage). But because of the nature of the progressive disease and addiction, he relapsed again and again. His compulsive and disorderly behavior has not only damaged his own body, put him in deeper debt, but also severely impacted my health and job. We are both in the early 30's, but for the last three years I constantly fear that he is going to die. He has been to hospital for over a dozen times just this year. I have taken many days off work to send him to hospitals, paid his debt numerous times, cried, begged, but things just went worse. I have been to support groups and seeking counselling, finally, I realized that my effort to help is only enabling him to continue his self-destructive behavior and I need to take a step to break this vicious cycle. Last month, with guilt and shame, he agreed that we need to separate so that we can focus on both of our own recovery.

Although living apart, we still talk and I continue to support him emotionally and financially (he is out of job for almost 2 years), out of compasion and fear that he will totally lose hope for his life. But I need to fix up my mess now. In considerations of the pending I-30 Petitions, divorce, and everything else, I wondered what I should do. One of the attorneys believe that I need to apply for immigration benefits as a battered spouse, but others said I need to withdraw I-130 or do nothing. I am confused. I looked up the INS website and think I meet all requirements for self-petition as an abused spouse. But, if you have heard of similar situation would you please offer some advices? Is it easy to file I-360 by myself (I have piles of evidence)? If I do file it, what do I need to do about the pending I-130 and I-480?

Thanks for reading such a long and sad message.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I am sorry to hear this but there are a two solutions I see.

1. Ask your Company to sponsor your H1B as before and go for an employment based GC.

OR

2. Go as a battered spouse, for this you need proof that you are suffering at the hands of your husband.

The common ones are:-
1. 911 call and visit by police and a police report that you can get from the officer or precient which details why they came and what they saw.

2. Doctors report that shows you suffered physically and mentally at his hand.

3. Also affidavits from people who know both of you and are in a position to say that you were in danger of imminent physical harm b/c you were with him and living in fear.

If you got all three you self sponsored GC has a high chance of success as you will be interview just without your husband.

I hope this helps and wish you best of luck.
 
Thanks for your opinion.

I am still on my H1B and my employer-sponsored labor certificate is in backlog reduction center. It is just a matter of time before I can get a GC as long as I have the job.

I have some police reports for 911 calls, and can get the psychologists' report for my visit, and statement from his relatives. One lawyer said that it's better that I do it before the divorce. It is so hard emotionally to collect all the evidence, and I still hope he will wake up to stop this nightmare. But I probably should go ahead to do it asap.
 
hmm

sorry to hear that sad story of your life, little bit bitter
why don't u keep the marriage and seperate with your husband. I mean you don't have to get devoice right the way, you and your husband can live seperatly. wait till interview, after that, get devoiced. I believe since you has helped him so much, he should do something for you. if you apply g/c thru the company/ h1 , it will take at least 5 year to process. u filed your i-485 already, the AOS interview will be on anytime from now. I suggest you wait till AOS interview then get decoiced. that will be much better off.
I don't think your husband will have any problem since he is totally trashed out. If he doesn't want to go, give him a few hundreds, he will go, hehehe

life is tough, try to enjoy it
 
Chris,

If I can feel that way I wouldn't have married him and been living in such a misery and insanity myself. If you care someone but feel nothing you can do to help, you'd rather not hear from him again. After going through these things, I know I cannot live one more such day wondering whether he is alive or dead. I hope this will be behind me soon. I wish I wasn't so naiive about addiction problems.

The other thing is that the INS will know that we are separated, and my guess is that the interview won't happen within a year. Even though he cooprates it will be difficult.

Thanks anyway for your input.
 
angie

First and foremost, I would like you to know that I was specialized in handling VAWA cases (I-360s). As a matter of fact, I started my career by handling these kinds of cases with non-profit immigration advocacy agency sponsored by State. Thus, I believe I know all the nitty-gritty of VAWA proceedings. I can even tell you how many officers are assigned in I-360 unit to adjudicate these petitions and what kind of training they were given in order to dispose this petition.

Hence, I think you could trust me on my information about this petition. I’m 100% certain on my information. I-360 is a self-petition wherein aliens don’t need a US citizen or LPR-spouse to sponsor them. They can get green card based upon their own. That’s why it is called-self-petition. However, this petition could only be filed based upon abuses. Abuses could be emotional and mental ones as well, and not necessary physical ones alone. But everything needs to be documented. Plus, a lot of evidentiary documents are required to get approval on I-360. But gathering of all those required documents is not that hard if someone is very bright or if s/he has a smarty to guide him/her.

It takes at most 3-4 weeks to have decision on this petition once it’s filed. Of course, it could stretch 1-2 weeks more if USCIS would require a missing or additional document(s) or information thru RFE (Request for Evidence) to close the deal. Officers who handle this application are well trained for this petition; so naturally they know what to look for in order to approve this petition, which decreases the overall processing time more drastically. USCIS have 15 officers to handle I-360 cases. And since not many immigrants file this petition, these officers are pretty much free most of the times, which means-enough time in their hands to chitchat.

Further, no FBI criminal background check or any other security check is done for this petition. Rather USCIS requires applicant to submit only ‘Good Moral Character’ certificate from local police along with this petition, which is very easy to obtain anyway. USCIS doesn’t do any investigation for this petition unless somebody reports to them about fraud or if they suspect it by their own. They actually decide a case based upon provided evidences.

This quick approval on I-360 is very important for those aliens who have a pending green card application (I-485) with USCIS for some time which was previously filed based upon I-130. Because if they are able to get approval quickly on I-360 then they can keep continue on their pending I-485 even if US citizen/LPR withdraws I-130 and Affidavit of Support forms for them. This way aliens don't need to re-file I-485 all over again, which would be a complete waste of time and money otherwise.

Afterwards, the pending I-485 would be adjudicated based upon approved I-360 rather than based upon previously filed I-130 (which was filed by US citizen/LPR). Green card application (I-485) is always filed by alien even if it goes along with I-130 (filed by US citizen or LPR family member of alien) or I-140 (filed by employer). Also, submitting an Affidavit of Support form is waived for those who adjust their status based upon I-360 petition. Once you will file I-1360, you will receive a letter from USCIS, which would allow you to obtain public assistance if you would like. And once you would be able to adjust your status based upon I-360, you would get residency without any condition and you will be allowed to file for citizenship after 3 yrs of being a LPR than usual 5 yrs.

Since you already have police reports, and you could also obtain psychologist reports and affidavits from other people about witnessing your situation then you are ready to file it. You would need to submit an affidavit your own to explain the situation as well. Any document that shows about you having made a visit to hospital would also help. Don’t ever mention about his addictions or a mutual separation between both of you to USCIS. Rather you should focus on your mental and emotional status because of his actions and should be describing ONLY your situation than him. Otherwise, INS won’t find any abuses here. If you ask me, I personally don’t see him having battered you intentionally. You are suffering or having hard time because of his illness and unfortunate situations, especially when you are still helping him financially and still in talking terms with him. This won’t look good for your I-360 if you tell about all this to USCIS. So, don’t ever mention all this to INS.

Also, it is very important for you not to mention about I-360 to him. I-360 is a very confidential petition and INS officers are not allowed to disclose about it to anyone. And if any officer would disclose about it to anyone except to govt. agencies then the officer would be punished. Such law is made to protect the victim of domestic violence. By the way, you need to submit tons of evidences to prove the bona fide of your marriage as well.

Don’t worry about pending I-130 and I-485 right now. Just file I-360. I-360 is filed and processed only in Vermont no matter where an alien lives in the US. Once it gets approved, you could write to local INS office about processing of your pending I-485 based upon approved I-360 than based upon previously filed I-130. You would need to provide the approval notice of I-360 along with your receipt notice of pending I-485.

Though you could file for I-360 even until 2 yrs even after your divorce, but filing of I-360 after divorce gets very tricky and hard because then INS would require your marriage to have ended up based upon abuse ground. Therefore, it is better for you to file I-360 before you get divorced. Separation doesn’t matter here; rather INS really wants to see you separated from an abuser anyway.

Good luck.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Sorry to hear about your situation. In a word, you can file GC from H1B and GC for battered family case at the same time, (definitely get a doctor's report about your husband's situation but ask your husband to understand why you want his medical record.) it's legal. They are different cases and won't affect each other. Whichever comes faster. Go ask some lawyer, hope things will work out for you.
 
Thanks for everyone's support. I feel better about the past three years now that I could see some lights in the immigration part if I do it right. I am still seeing the therapists so that I can accept the things I cannot change, and won't get insane watching him killing himself. The police was involved a few times; but there was a few times that they felt I was the person who was insane, not my drunk husband. I really need to be careful in describing my situation to USCIS.

Thanks, Johnny, for your advice. But I do have more questions. I have copies of hospital discharge forms and returned checks for paying his bills and mortgage for the past year. I have a temporary restraining order on him but I dropped three days later. I also have several dozens of letter from him when he is in the rehabs, saying how guilty he felt and how much he wanted to have a normal life with me. Will these letters help? I have police reports about him being intoxicated and I called 911 to send him to emergency rooms. Why do you suggest that I should not mention about his addiction? Or mental illness? Or I should just mention how he disturbed my sleep and harrassed me? If I don't mention mutual separation, will the USCIS find out that we have different addresses?

A lot of evidence are difficult to get, such as my visit to hospitals, and how he harrassed me while drunk and verbally abuse me since I didn't talk it to the police (I am more worried about his health than my own well-being). But I can ask for a statement from his relatives. There will be tons of paperwork... It is so sad to exfresh my mind to do it.
 
What you need to prove to INS

angie

You have two things to prove to the INS people

1. That your marriage to your USC husband is Bona Fide and not just to get a GC, Jonny's advise is very good and credible. So you dont wana give the INS anything to think you married a drunken bump just to get a greencard. From my reading of your case I feel that since you had a H1B and not illegal so there is not much you need to prove about your Bona fide marriage

2. As a battered spouse INS is looking for serious danger to you and great mental/physical harm you are suffering because of your marriage to the USC and you cannot abandon him b/c of your pending AOS. So you are asking INS relief from this danger by petitioning for yourself.

I would not answer for Jonny as he knows what he is saying and I will let him address why you dont need to give separation.
However I would recommend that you DO get a lawyer in this case.If money is an issue try law school or legal aid clinics , they are very helpful and free or super cheap.

Keep us updated on your situation and best of luck.
 
Check Legal services of New Jersey - battered spouse help, good people

Hi Angie, you have a great chance to get the green card without your husband. Just find a lawyer that handles cases pro bono for battered spouses. I know someone who just got approved and it took her only 1.5 years to get everything. Which state are you in? In NJ there's an office that handles this kind of cases .
www.lsnj.org
or look up in google : legal services of new jersey edison
phone number (732) 572-9100 ask for Timothy Block or paralegal Edith. Very helpful people. Good luck. And write a journal, with dates and support with evidence and pictures. Don't worry!!!any questions, post them again.
T
 
Again, thanks everyone! Talking to you guys really helped at this holiday season. I cried so many times in the last three days since my alcoholic husband relapsed again. I know I gotta take care of myself.

I live in NJ and not far from Edison. I will call them to get some advice. As you know, I called three lawyers and got three different answers. I will start doing my own research now with all your input!
 
I’m not discouraging anyone in calling legal aid or pro bono services, but I think people should know the facts about them. Most of times when someone calls them, they answer that they are overbooked and not taking any new case for few months. Further, an attorney cannot tell you how to arrange a document; rather attorney will work with you based upon what you have in your possession, which might not be necessary to get approval on a case. People should also keep in mind that attorneys don’t make a case to be approved; rather they just file a case without any possible mistake. That is all. In the end of the day, burden would still lie upon alien to gather and present his/her case in a way that it could be approved. Do not forget also that not all attorneys put their passion in people's case. Thus, it could be possible that they might leave out something or make mistake. If this would happen, then applicant's case would be messed up, and not attorney's.

Angie, you may try to call this legal aid in NJ for help, but if you would need my help you could contact me. I’ve handled at least 105 cases of I-360s. 100 of them were approved, but 5 of them were denied because those women could not be able to prove that they would face extreme hardship if they were to be deported from the United States. This requirement is no longer exists, but it was before as an applicant for I-360 was supposed to prove that s/he would face extreme hardship if s/he would be deported from the United States. A very important requirement at that time, which was hard to prove.

Good Luck.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Johnny Cash is right, but an attorney's help can't hurt her.

With Johnny Cash's help and legal advice from an attorney, Angie has a good chance of proving her case. These people were advising my relative, I was helping as a material witness, collecting evidence, writing statements. Of course, the petitioner has to be on top of everything, but the attorney, or an Immigration Officer knows best, which documents have to be prepared. Good luck, calling them can not hurt. There is a chance, that Angie may not qualify for the pro bono status. I don't know her financial situation, but they may take her case for a fee. All I know is, that they did everything right for that person. Before we got to them, we spoke with 3 or 4 different legal firms, no one wanted to do it without a fee. Good luck.
T
 
Thanks for your positive notes. I am grateful to be here and get to know Johnny and the rest of you. I know where to start now.

Canada68, yes, I won't be qualified pro bono status. But I will talk to them. I have collected piles of evidence in the last few days and will get more. But an atterney's advice is critical in how to present the evidences. I will follow up with Johnny.

Have a great Thanksgiving Holiday!
 
Hi, I’m a USC and my wife got the 2 years conditional on October 2019. She left home in February and come back sometimes, she makes excuses, then i found out she has a bf for a while and i challenge her and i wanted a divorce, later she convince me she love me and i m in love too so she came back home and i forgave her, once she cane back she was abusing me physically and emotionally, now we sleep in separate room and for precaution i have a voice recording in my room since she provoke me all the time, so i have recordingS of her assaulting And threatened, back in February i was at the bar near home with my friend and she came to the bar and pushed me and hit me with a bottle then she called the police on me, i don’t k ow what’s in the report but i didn’t get arrested. Last month i saw the medical bill she went to the doctor to check on her swallow hand ( she did it herself while assaulting me and missed and hit the corner of the table) also went to psychiatrist and got deppresion pills but she never took it, overheard to talking to a social worker, I believe she’s applying a waiver for i751 based on domestic violence. So i confronted her and she denies it and i told her i have evidence to prove it, since i have the recording in my room; she was talking to her bf to put a gps in my car. She now using other tactic to get me upset by taking my car key with her and disappear for all day and night, i fall into her trap once, i called and asked her if she gonna come back, she said NO, so i told her i know you’re fabricating a case against me but i have evidence that will screw you, she recorded me. September she went to LA for A month and told me she left because i want to kill her in a text message. What can i do in this case? I heard vawa or DV it’s very easy if they know how to fabricate a case, any advise ?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top