hi folks, once again am back for advise as this forum has always been helpful to me throughout the proces of my conditional green card. my USC wife is making things difficult for me with preasure of divorcing me and make it difficult to remove the condition on my green card which will be due by January 2009. I got my green card on January of 2007 about 6 months ago. The issue is that while i was on the process of adjusting my status i was unable to get a job even with my work permit in my state. I look for jobs everywhere from temporary services to any kind of job but unfortunately i could not get any, then after getting my conditional green card i applied for job outside my state and got one with Indiana State government with good benefit. i have health insurance, life insurance, dental and vision with a good pay. I have my wife and her kids which are now my step kids listed as beneficiaries to all of my insurance because we never had any before now, even when i was adjusting my status. Now my wife who is the USC want me to quit the job and returned back to my state where she live. Her excussis that she dont want to be far away from me and if i dont quit the job she will divorce me and make it difficult for me to remove my condition when its due. I have asked her to relocate from our current state to the State of Indiana where i got this job but she refused and said she dont want to move to Indiana. Its only one hour twenty minutes (1.20) drive from the state we lived to Indiana where i found my job and i have always go back home every weekend to be with my family and yet she is not satisfied. my wife the USC is on social security benefit and if i quit the job we cant survive with what she is getting from social security (SSI) as income. am confused, i need help. If the marriage breakup as a result of my explanation above do i have any chances of removing my condition by myself? Thanks for ur advise folks.
Divorce while on conditional green card.
- Thread starter obajego
- Start date
myredskins
Registered Users (C)
Obajego, if you divorce her chances are that you are going to be in greater difficulty than you currently are. I think for now your best bet is to folllow her demands and move back with her. Ask yourself what matters to you now?
1) Being broke but be in a marriage?
2) Or have money but be unhappy?
hahahahah
1) Being broke but be in a marriage?
2) Or have money but be unhappy?
hahahahah
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I strongly disagree with your advice.
I strongly disagree with your advice.
myredskins
Registered Users (C)
Sure the guy asked for my opinion and I offered it. What is yours?
PraetorianXI
Banned
Well, he strongly disagrees with you. Twice...
As far as this post goes. I would think, sit down with your wife and explain to her... seek professional counseling to deal with the problems. She has a right claim (to want you to be with her and the family) but you also want a job and to be able to provide for them. A compromise must be reached.
You CAN get divorced and remove the conditions by yourself. Specially is your wife divorced you based on such a frivolity...
As far as this post goes. I would think, sit down with your wife and explain to her... seek professional counseling to deal with the problems. She has a right claim (to want you to be with her and the family) but you also want a job and to be able to provide for them. A compromise must be reached.
You CAN get divorced and remove the conditions by yourself. Specially is your wife divorced you based on such a frivolity...
myredskins
Registered Users (C)
True that, but this is a path least travelled, and I hear the odds of getting approved that way are bad.
YEah I am still waiting for NeShawn's opinion though.
Al Southner
Registered Users (C)
Be careful...
Oba,
Congrats on your GC. There is a simple reason why ur wife doesn't want to move out of state, she will lose her government cheese a.k.a social security benefits, because states differ with regards to benefits which they advance to people who apply for them. Why is she on social security? Is she disabled or what?
Follow Lucy's counsel, removing conditions on your greencard by yourself will be hell on earth, by yourself because USCIS will need the reason for your sudden divorce. Your response will be: I was a weekend husband, worked in Indiana and my wife and kids stayed back in my state, and this is a simple and clear-cut denial from the stand point of USCIS. Fraud marriages are common, people don't live together or live in different states and claim professional commitments forces them to live separate from each other, and the marriage master and enforcer (USCIS) hates this practice and screw people over it. So, for your own peace of mind, reconsider and make it work.
If I were you, will look for a new job in your state and make it work there, unless you want to be burned over hot coals by USCIS while your wife giggles over your misery. Chose a better alternative, a new job or even become a security guard, and work day shifts and be home at night, so you can feed your wife some hot dogs...
Oba,
Congrats on your GC. There is a simple reason why ur wife doesn't want to move out of state, she will lose her government cheese a.k.a social security benefits, because states differ with regards to benefits which they advance to people who apply for them. Why is she on social security? Is she disabled or what?
Follow Lucy's counsel, removing conditions on your greencard by yourself will be hell on earth, by yourself because USCIS will need the reason for your sudden divorce. Your response will be: I was a weekend husband, worked in Indiana and my wife and kids stayed back in my state, and this is a simple and clear-cut denial from the stand point of USCIS.
Fraud marriages are common, people don't live together or live in different states and claim professional commitments forces them to live separate from each other, and the marriage master and enforcer (USCIS) hates this practice and screw people over it. So, for your own peace of mind, reconsider and make it work. If I were you, will look for a new job in your state and make it work there, unless you want to be burned over hot coals by USCIS while your wife giggles over your misery.
Chose a better alternative, a new job or even become a security guard, and work day shifts and be home at night, so you can feed your wife some hot dogs...A friend of mine was in a similar situation. In order to remove the conditions, he had to prove that he entered the marriage in good faith. He had lots of evidence of that and a good lawyer. He received his 10 year card just recently. Consult with a good attorney and see what he/she says. Good luck.
PraetorianXI
Banned
It would be 2 hours and 40 minutes total. (round trip)
myredskins
Registered Users (C)
Yeah 2 hrs and 40 mins commute is still not bad at all in total (esp in big cities). This guy can do it. He should compare the cost of commuting daily with the cost of having to go it alone to remove the conditions. Give marriage a chance
He doesn't have to be a weekend husband. He can come home one night and on the weekends. It is hard for a man to be without a job. A sacrifice has to be made. Your wife living on Social Security is a very limited lifestyle (believe me I know). You say your job has benefits (which is good) and it is good that you have coverage for entire family (wife and kids). Sounds like you are trying to make it work. I think the wife is insecure and reluctant to lose her benefits and instead be dependant on her husband. You can only get so far on those benefits.
I would not quit the job in Indiana until or unless I find employment in the state where wife is. Also, she can move and still get whatever portion of benefits that she would qualify for whereever she goes but given how much the husband makes she is going to lose it eventually whatever state they live in.
There are many conditional green card couples that have to live apart for work or school purposes. Ob... just keep phone and travel documents of return back and forth if you decide to hold the job. I don't think 1 1/2 hour is too bad. It takes longer for me to ride the bus my favorite park or to other places sometimes. (I have to take 2 buses just to get to my favorite mall, my classes 3 times a week or to church) before I got car. I am sure arrangements can be made to commute (especially when the $$$ start rolling in ). Will PM soon. Take care.
I would not quit the job in Indiana until or unless I find employment in the state where wife is. Also, she can move and still get whatever portion of benefits that she would qualify for whereever she goes but given how much the husband makes she is going to lose it eventually whatever state they live in.
There are many conditional green card couples that have to live apart for work or school purposes. Ob... just keep phone and travel documents of return back and forth if you decide to hold the job. I don't think 1 1/2 hour is too bad. It takes longer for me to ride the bus my favorite park or to other places sometimes. (I have to take 2 buses just to get to my favorite mall, my classes 3 times a week or to church) before I got car. I am sure arrangements can be made to commute (especially when the $$$ start rolling in
). Will PM soon. Take care.So what's the solution? Have one spouse sacrifice his/her career forever, preferably the woman?
Or have both compromise so they can live in the same state so nobody's happy with their own professional achievement?
Ever heard of tenure-track positions in academia? Have any idea how hard they are to get? Or medical residencies? You go where the Match tells you to go. And you're happy you matched at all.
What about those F-1, J-1 and H-1B people who come here on highly specialized visas and continue in their highly specialized occupations? Are they supposed to downgrade to menial work only in order to stay in the same state?
Let's wake up and smell the coffee. There are many ways of becoming legitimate, productive American citizens. The success of any marriage is communication. It's up to any given couple how they establish it. Living in the same state is preferred by USCIS, but not mandatory. There are a myriad ways to establish a successful marriage in a high-tech century. There is no shame in following one's professional dreams as a woman - or as a man.
myredskins
Registered Users (C)
NO you are over dramatizing things. No one said they should have jobs that suck for ever. This is a temporary thing we were advocating (i.e. take a shitty job until things are sorted out, if he can't find a better one, or if he is not prepared to drive).
Matter of fact is that immigration is a privilege and in this case it is based on the woman. So if the person she is marrying is acting up, USCIS might invalidate the whole thing. USCIS does not care and should not care about this person's career aspirations as they are irrelevant in this case.
Just for the record if you are on H1B I dont see how you could do menial work as every job change is authorized by DHS. You can only work in the field for which you were trained. So that statement is ill-placed.
MY BEST BEST FOR OBAJEGO is to drive daily, you know what it could be cheaper as he wont have to pay rent in Indiana, but live with his wife and only spend money on gasoline.
All I am saying is that family based immigration is about "family" and USCIS wants to be presented with a working family structure for them make it easier for the immigrant. If you want to take advantage of the fact that you are married to advance your career goals, then you are in the wrong immigration category. Why NOT apply for an H1B? (prolly not coz its tougher to get).
So lets not get it twisted guys.
My guess for Obajego is that his wife will keep making difficulties and being unappreciative even while he keeps making sacrifices. But that’s just my two cents. The point in that particular case is what Lucy Mo pointed out: separate addresses PLUS an uncooperative spouse equals a recipe for disaster.
My point was what happens in the particular case of a marriage with separate addresses PLUS a cooperative spouse. You don’t need to read any further if you don’t want to: I’m just expanding below.
Immigration in my definition is a benefit within the provisions of the law. If I provide the documentation specified under a certain law, then I entertain a reasonable expectation to qualify for all the benefits specified under the same law. If you wish to define immigration as a privilege, that’s exercising your right to free speech.
Immigration is, however, a give and take. It’s a two-way street and not a unilateral gift to the immigrant. The immigrant pays immigration fees and travel fees to the district office, takes time off from work to be fingerprinted, photographed and interviewed, compiles a voluminous file, submits to a close scrutiny of his professional and personal/romantic life, and waives part or all of his/her privacy. In exchange, the immigrant is entitled to expect prompt and courteous government service from the part of government employees, unless the immigrant lives in a Kafkian society where one wouldn’t want to immigrate in the first place.
Family immigration is indeed about family and living happily together ever after. There is no perfect family. Happiness and self-fulfillment in a couple consist of many elements:health, finances, home, children, pets, commute, vacation, career. Good luck with superimposing your (apparently) model of the ideal family (i.e. the one in which the home is in the same zip code, the commute is brief, the husband is more educated and earns more than the woman, there are 1.9 children consisting of a first-born boy and a girl on the way, and they all have dinner together every night) on the myriad families existing today and consisting of professional couples juggling harsh realities.
That’s not an ideal family, that’s an old-fashioned family. That’s how it (mostly) used to be. It’s not right or wrong. It’s just outdated. It does not say anywhere in the USCIS interview letter you are obligated to follow living recipe no. 17 bis. It says to bring documentation proving that you think you have a good family. That letter doesn’t say what a good family is and isn’t. That’s because they haven’t figured it out yet.
Family immigration is about mutual love and support. Spouses support each other in building a better credit history, getting a better interest rate for a mortgage, battling infertility issues, battling cancer, and yes, advancing each other’s career goals. Kids shouldn’t be the only ones who get to go to Harvard and Stanford. Sometimes parents get to go too. It’s called Ph.D. s, residencies, fellowships, tenure-track positions etc. The stuff dreams are made of for immigrants in their twenties and thirties. And it’s also part of becoming a productive American citizen.
I don’t get it - if you are on H-1B you get to stay at Harvard as long as you marry someone at Harvard, while if you’re on H-1B at Harvard AND you marry a USC at Stanford whom you’ve met a conference in Minneapolis, either you or he have to downgrade and work at Wendy’s for the following three years to prove you live in the same zip code?
Please substitute Wendy’s with any national chain. If you’ve been a chemist on H-1B at Harvard, chances are they’ll hire you based on your EAD at any CVS in California. Your heart may not be in it, however. Frustration is not the basis for a good family.
National chains are not the point either. There are physicians who downgrade to nurses in order to live in the same zip code with their spouse. There are lawyers who downgrade to accountants in order to live in the same zip code with their spouse. There are architects who downgrade to housepainters and movers for the same reason. It’s their choice. And they may have a good family. Another couple has a longer car commute and still a good family. Someone else has a plane commute and still a good family. If their spouse has a car accident or a plane accident on their way home, they’re going to grieve the same. Now that’s over-dramatizing things for you.
What’s most likely to happen is that the person at Harvard will take a sabbatical in the first year to be in the same zip code with their spouse, in their second year they’ll live apart, commute and keep gas, train, bus, plane, phone, e-mail, IM and fax receipts, the person at Stanford will take a sabbatical in the third year to be in the same zip code with their spouse, and so on until in the X th year one gets a position in Minneapolis, requests a spousal appointment for the other and both live happily ever after. Because over time, this translates in better retirement benefits that Wendy’s and CVS. Yes, I call retirement a benefit, not a privilege. Like immigration, maybe?
My point was what happens in the particular case of a marriage with separate addresses PLUS a cooperative spouse. You don’t need to read any further if you don’t want to: I’m just expanding below.
Immigration in my definition is a benefit within the provisions of the law. If I provide the documentation specified under a certain law, then I entertain a reasonable expectation to qualify for all the benefits specified under the same law. If you wish to define immigration as a privilege, that’s exercising your right to free speech.
Immigration is, however, a give and take. It’s a two-way street and not a unilateral gift to the immigrant. The immigrant pays immigration fees and travel fees to the district office, takes time off from work to be fingerprinted, photographed and interviewed, compiles a voluminous file, submits to a close scrutiny of his professional and personal/romantic life, and waives part or all of his/her privacy. In exchange, the immigrant is entitled to expect prompt and courteous government service from the part of government employees, unless the immigrant lives in a Kafkian society where one wouldn’t want to immigrate in the first place.
Family immigration is indeed about family and living happily together ever after. There is no perfect family. Happiness and self-fulfillment in a couple consist of many elements:health, finances, home, children, pets, commute, vacation, career. Good luck with superimposing your (apparently) model of the ideal family (i.e. the one in which the home is in the same zip code, the commute is brief, the husband is more educated and earns more than the woman, there are 1.9 children consisting of a first-born boy and a girl on the way, and they all have dinner together every night) on the myriad families existing today and consisting of professional couples juggling harsh realities.
That’s not an ideal family, that’s an old-fashioned family. That’s how it (mostly) used to be. It’s not right or wrong. It’s just outdated. It does not say anywhere in the USCIS interview letter you are obligated to follow living recipe no. 17 bis. It says to bring documentation proving that you think you have a good family. That letter doesn’t say what a good family is and isn’t. That’s because they haven’t figured it out yet.
Family immigration is about mutual love and support. Spouses support each other in building a better credit history, getting a better interest rate for a mortgage, battling infertility issues, battling cancer, and yes, advancing each other’s career goals. Kids shouldn’t be the only ones who get to go to Harvard and Stanford. Sometimes parents get to go too. It’s called Ph.D. s, residencies, fellowships, tenure-track positions etc. The stuff dreams are made of for immigrants in their twenties and thirties. And it’s also part of becoming a productive American citizen.
I don’t get it - if you are on H-1B you get to stay at Harvard as long as you marry someone at Harvard, while if you’re on H-1B at Harvard AND you marry a USC at Stanford whom you’ve met a conference in Minneapolis, either you or he have to downgrade and work at Wendy’s for the following three years to prove you live in the same zip code?
Please substitute Wendy’s with any national chain. If you’ve been a chemist on H-1B at Harvard, chances are they’ll hire you based on your EAD at any CVS in California. Your heart may not be in it, however. Frustration is not the basis for a good family.
National chains are not the point either. There are physicians who downgrade to nurses in order to live in the same zip code with their spouse. There are lawyers who downgrade to accountants in order to live in the same zip code with their spouse. There are architects who downgrade to housepainters and movers for the same reason. It’s their choice. And they may have a good family. Another couple has a longer car commute and still a good family. Someone else has a plane commute and still a good family. If their spouse has a car accident or a plane accident on their way home, they’re going to grieve the same. Now that’s over-dramatizing things for you.
What’s most likely to happen is that the person at Harvard will take a sabbatical in the first year to be in the same zip code with their spouse, in their second year they’ll live apart, commute and keep gas, train, bus, plane, phone, e-mail, IM and fax receipts, the person at Stanford will take a sabbatical in the third year to be in the same zip code with their spouse, and so on until in the X th year one gets a position in Minneapolis, requests a spousal appointment for the other and both live happily ever after. Because over time, this translates in better retirement benefits that Wendy’s and CVS. Yes, I call retirement a benefit, not a privilege. Like immigration, maybe?
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myredskins
Registered Users (C)
Put yourself in the shoes of USCIS. If a guy and his wife do not get along, how are they to know that the marriage is no fraud? Maybe it was rushed for immigration benefits? Maybe not. Point is that at this stage in their lives the sponsor has so much weight that OBAJEGO has only two options. Either he follows what she says and gets his papers or he dumps her and tries to file to remove conditions on his own.
My dear ELFY I am sure you will agree with me that USCIS does not go by your definition of immigration. It helps to be objective in such cases.
Only in Utopia. May I ask what country you are from? Immigration is a privilege whether you like it or not. I am in immigrant and accept that. Other countries don’t even let people in at the rate in which the US does. So step back and stop pretending you deserve this. They have a right to shut you out, without explaining and deport you to Kafkian (is that where ur from
As for the rest of your blog, I never said there was a perfect family. I have never seen one, and don’t expect to. So don’t put words into my writing.
The rest was a super rant which I believe is irrelevant aka a tangent.